Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Make a Wish, Restless Child

It is now 2:22 AM. Whenever the time reads all the same numbers, I usually make a wish. So I am going to make a wish now. But I can't say what it is, or it may not come true.

But what I can say is that I am tired. I am to the point where my body is so tired that I am now numb to it. It is similar to when you are out in the snow and the snow makes your fingers and toes freeze. However, after time passes, you can no longer feel your fingers and toes. They are still cold. Very cold. But so cold it does not matter anymore. Then when you get inside and put them by the fire, they ache. I will probably start aching tomorrow morning. Especially since I have 7:30 class. Boo.

I am stressed. The semester is coming to an end and it is stressing me out. I have various final projects that will be due soon that I still have a lot to work on. I feel like I do homework for hours, but yet I get nowhere because there is still tons to do. It is like this endless journey. Like I am running in a circle or something. I registered for Spring semester classes tonight as well. That is one reason I am still up. I was forced to stay up until midnight so I could be one of the other thousand students jumping on the site to cause it to crash. I was worn out and ready to go to bed tonight at about 9:30. I went to bed last night at 11:00 and it was glorious. I need earlier bedtimes! I also think it is time to find a second job. Especially since thus far, I only have 13 credits for next semester. I am on the waiting list for another class, so we will see what happens. Ah, the life of a grown up! I was one of those wise children that never once wished her childhood away. I knew that being six was where it was at! No responsibility.

Some days I really feel like letting all responsibility and stress go. Being little again. Better yet, just dropping out of life for a few days. I think if we were allowed to do that, the world would be a better place. Sometimes I think all we need is a little break. Time to run away from all worries and pretend to be someone else for a day. That is what I want. On top of all the school stress, I have been super restless lately. This is something that happens often for me. Luckily, it has been a while since I have had my last restless attack. I have been doing well. This one is almost worse though now because I am not use to feeling restless anymore. Those that know me best know that I am a restless, impulsive little thing. And right now, I feel like being impulsive and running away for a few days.

You know what I really wanna do?????

I want to jump in the car with a full tank of gas and just drive. Drive and drive until I run out of gas. When the tank hits empty, we'll see what town I end up in.

Or better yet, I would just love to take a wad of cash and head to the airport. I would just walk up and announce I want to buy a ticket for a flight on standby. Any flight. And then I would see where my money would send me to. Even if it was some lame place on the map I had never heard of, it would not matter one bit. Because in that lame place I never heard of, I wouldn't have to be Kelsey Keller with responsibilities. I could be whoever I wanted. I would stay for the weekend, and then fly back home, ready to take on all responsibility again.

One day, I am going to do that. Count on it.

1 comment:

  1. I had every intention of getting in my car and driving until I stopped, and I was going to do this on the 12th of this month. But then I talked to my mom and she said a plane ticket would be much easier. So on the 12th, I'm going to Virginia. I wish I could take you with me so we can tear up the capital together.


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