Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Three Years

Yesterday marked three years of marriage for me and Brian. I'd be lying if I said it's been the easiest three years of my life. Marriage is hard. Some days I wonder what in the world I signed up for.

The past year has been so good for me. I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of this marriage thing. For a long time, I thought I needed to fit a certain mold of what a wife was. Then I immediately realized I could never fit that mold, which made me feel like a failure. I spent months at a time questioning if I could ever be a good wife, if maybe marriage just wasn't a thing that worked with the way my personality is wired.

I've realized I was feeding myself a whole lot of garbage. There is no mold I have to fit to be a good wife, daughter, or sister. Healthy relationships last when both people give and contribute. I'm going to give and show love differently than the next person, and that's okay.

There is nothing wrong with seeking the marriage advice of others or reading marriage books. However, I believe every relationship is unique. You know what's best for you. The most important thing is not to turn to another person or a book but to turn to your spouse. And don't you ever dare let yourself feel guilty for the way you convey love. There is no one right way to love someone.

I love Brian. I'm so thankful we chose to go on this journey hand-in-hand. I can't wait to see what the next year brings!

Last night we had a delicious Italian dinner at Le Nonne and then hot-tubbed in the rain. About a month ago, Brian also told me he was taking me on a surprise vacation. Yesterday I finally convinced him to tell me. Throughout the day he sent me photos of our hotel, beaches, rain forests, and then he wrapped it all up with a picture of baby sloths. We're going to COSTA RICA! I can't wait. Doesn't that sound like the perfect anniversary? Wait, it took a turn for the worse.

This morning my body decided it hates me so I threw up a bunch of times. All day Brian has been taking care of me in between work and everything else. Just a reminder of what a good man I snagged. In sickness and in health, right?  

P.S. I got Brian the best card ever.
The inside says, "You have (most of) my heart."