Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Because I'm Kinda Vain

So it's the month of May. My two summer jobs do not start until June. I'm living at home for a while. Which leaves me usually hanging out with Mom during the day. This morning before going on a three mile run with my mom and her two lovely friends, she said to me,

"Kelsey, I'll pay you if you go teach PE at the grade school for me."

I sat on the couch staring at the television screen for several minutes (Will Smith kept me entertained this morning with a little bit of Fresh Prince) asking myself what I would rather do instead of let children attack me but then afterward get cash for it. In the several minutes I spent debating, I couldn't seem to think of anything else I needed to be doing that afternoon.

"Fine, I'll do it."

Hours passed and I found myself out at the school. Ready to teach PE. Weird. As I set up the balls for dodge ball, I thought back on my glory days of grade school PE.
I was a competitive child. I still am competitive, I just know how to control it better. In grade school my competitive side maybe came across as mean at times. I still remember the time we beat the boys in 5th grade kickball. They all cried. And I rubbed it in their crying faces that they had just been beat by girls. When we played car lot, it wasn't uncommon for me to make up my own car so that I would never run the risk of getting out. If you aren't familiar with the game of car lot, I'm sorry, I don't want to take the time to explain the rules to you. It's really a pointless game anyways. And dodge ball was my favorite. I was fearless when playing dodge ball. And I'm just positive that I must have thought I was much cooler than I actually was. The boys on my team at least passed me the balls after they were already out. A sure sign of respect. If you haven't already gathered the fact from this paragraph, let me just clarify:

I was a bit of a tomboy in my later grade school days.

I am glad I was this way. It limited the amount of girl drama, made me learn how to relate with the opposite sex, and stopped me from growing up too fast. I mean, I am still trying to learn the correct way to apply eyeliner. Up until a couple months ago, I had never used girly face wash to wash my face. I used a bar of Irish soap.

But back to teaching PE. . .

I was basically appalled with the sight of the first grade girls. They were lacking in the athletic department. Most of them didn't even try. A couple girls came and hung on my arm and asked for piggy back rides. I told them to go get someone out in dodge ball instead, to prove to me they deserved a piggy back ride. I had replies such as they were bored, hated the game, wanted to talk instead, etc. Most of the girls would not participate. At all. I was frustrated. I wanted to wave my fist and say,
"Come on ladies! Where is your self-respect? Show the men that you are equals with them! Get them out!"
One girl that actually was playing (she was instantly my favorite of the class) had a ball torn out of her hands by a boy. You can bet I put that kid in his place though.

Any ways, I was quite let down by the girls in PE as the day went on. They were all very lazy and girly. I saw a huge future squad of cheerleaders. Not that cheerleaders are bad. Or lazy. I'm just saying diversity is a good thing. We need some girly girls and some tomboys to make this world spin round, ya know?

At last, the 2nd grade class filed into the gym. A little person suddenly jumped on my back and let out what sounded like a war cry of some kind. Sure enough, it was my little sister Chloe. After everyone discovered I was Chloe's big sister, my popularity sky rocketed.

As the dodge balling began, I grew nervous that the girls might disappoint me again. Some of them did. A group of them sat in a circle and played clap clap games or something of the ridiculous sort. There were a couple that were twirling around in circles, which is cool I guess. But my baby sister, Chlo Jo, made me very proud. She was getting right in there with the boys. She tried dodging as best she could as well. She is not the most coordinated creature so she tripped and fell down several times. She's a bit of a class clown. The boys that were out even passed her some of the balls.
"CHLOE," they would yell and toss her a ball while encouraging her to throw it at a certain person on the other team.
Chloe even went as far as going over to the circle of girls who were holding dodge balls pretending they were babies (who does that?) and telling them she needed the fake babies to throw at the opponent.
I was beaming at my tomboy sister. I have raised her well. Okay, my mom has. But I was twelve when she was born, which made me old enough to help my mom out lots. So I have a motherly instinct or two for the girl.
Then there is my other sister, Alexis. She's older than Chloe. A few months shy of being a teenager actually. She is an aggressive kid. She isn't exactly a tomboy but very competitive. You should see her dribble a basketball. And she will run over hurdles like it's no body's business. She is not even afraid of them.

Basically, I am just proud of my little sisters. They will probably be bigger athletes than I ever was. And I'm glad that they aren't already wearing makeup like some little girls.      

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