Rains Came Down. Floods Came Up.

All the old timers are worried about flooding. Thanks to my rotten, no-good natural disasters class, I'm worried about it too. The only thing that class has done for me is made me fear things I never worried about before.

Like earthquakes.

Tornadoes.

Tsunami.

Lightning.

Landslides.

And. . .flooding.

With all this snow and then the sudden heat, people are worried about the snow melting and rushing on down off the mountains. I know it wouldn't be that bad, but sometimes my imagination gets the best of me. I can't help but envision buildings being underwater and us human beings having to go to higher ground to escape. Then we would have to live off food storage. I know food storage is a grand thing to have, but I honestly hate thinking about it. Probably because I hate having to think about eating my food storage. Food in a can only goes so far. I love my food, so I can't imagine having to ration out food, and food that isn't even that tasty either. Can you imagine having a can of refried beans and splitting it with your friends for dinner? What if you were running low on food too? Then you could only split half the can of refried beans for dinner. How will I get full off half a can of refried beans?

Then what would become of the skinny people after we ran low on food? Would they be the first to die? If so, I'm becoming obese stat.

Then to soothe my mind, I think back on my childhood, when I used to imagine a flood happening for fun. Yeah, I really thought a flood might make for a good time. My house in Idaho sits on a big hill, so I imagined the whole community coming to our house in little motor boats. Then the whole town would be in our house and we'd have a party until the flood went away. I don't know why that sounded like fun. Maybe I just like any excuse to have a party.

So if, by chance, there is a major flood, let's flee to the highest point we can find and have a party. We can make our own romantic city of water. Sort of Venice-like. And we'll eat good food. Texas Roadhouse will probably flee to that high point too, right? So we'll eat tons of steak and loaded mashed potatoes. Then we'll feed the gross food storage to the ducks. Because the ducks need to eat too.