Lost Blossoms

Last week, our apple tree was clad in blossoms of pink and white. In just a matter of days, the petals tore free from the branches and were whisked away in the wind. Where dainty blossoms hung, there are now fresh leaves, green with life.

I've loved this first year of owning a home. With every change of the season, it feels like we've just moved in again. Everything feels, smells and looks new. 

I am a creature of change. At the end of each season, I find myself craving the next one. I change my hair every few months. I don't like being in the same place for too long. 

But the last few weeks, I've resented my friend, Change. I've just wanted to ask Change if he can slow down for me. Just for a minute.

My five year high school reunion is coming up. As I was fitting it into my calendar last night, I started thinking about all the people I love who I've lost touch with, and that's in only five years. I hate change for that reason. I hate that change sometimes forces people apart . . . tears them in different directions. 

I hate seeing my little sisters grow up. 

I hate seeing my parents get older. 

I hate seeing my grandparents get older. 

I hate seeing my friends move away. 

I hate that I can't eat a whole sleeve of Oreos anymore and still feel fine with myself after. 

That is a lot of hate flowing around, but I know it's just a moment of mourning and then it will flee. Even though change can be hard, there is a certain beauty in seeing time pass. There is a certain beauty in seeing people move on, in seeing people age and mature . . . but on certain days it's just more difficult to accept that beauty. 

I like this stage of life that I am in, and I'm just fearful that Change will play a joke on me and make it all disappear. 

A few nights ago, I finished the book "The Fault In Our Stars" while laying in bed, and I guess everything I'd been feeling just came crashing down on my shoulders. I quickly turned out the light before Brian could see I was crying. Then I clung my arms around his torso, because I just needed to feel his presence there beside me. He turned and asked me if I was crying. I whimpered a quiet yes. 

"Why are you crying?" 

"My book was just so sad." 

A moment of silence passed. 

"I don't want people to die."

"Who is going to die," Brian asked. 

"Everyone. We are all going to die."

And even though that was a very morbid ending to our night, I do know there is also a certain beauty in death. It's part of the journey. But just because it's beautiful and essential doesn't mean that I'm still not afraid of it. 

Now I'll end this slightly pathetic post with a quote from "The Fault In Our Stars".

"What a slut time is. She screws everybody." 

 

Truth Tuesday

• I get way too invested in whatever book I'm currently reading. I read a book a few years ago called "The Beast in the Garden". It's a true story about how mountain lions started attacking people in a town in Colorado. I almost gave up my love for hiking. But I couldn't do that, so now I just make sure that we always carry a gun while exploring mountains. I recently finished "The Fault In Our Stars". Now I'm really paranoid that I'm going to have cancer . . . or that someone I love is going to get cancer. I need to take a chill pill. 

• I have a new obsession with purple lipstick. 

• I have a goal to sleep outside for a consecutive week this summer. 

• Every time I go trail running or just take Munch for a walk up the canyon, I see mountain bikers speeding past me and then I get really jealous because . . . I hate riding bikes . . . but I want myself to like it so badly. It always looks like a blast. But then anytime I get on a bike, it's just treacherous. I don't think my butt was built for sitting on those awfully uncomfortable bike seats.

• I secretly get happy anytime Justin Bieber's "Baby" comes on the radio. Shhhh, don't tell.

• This morning, I asked Brian if he ever gets sad that the 80s are over. He answered that since he didn't live for much of the 80s that no, he was okay with it, but he did get sad the 90s were over. I didn't ever live in the 80s (I was a 1990 baby) but I still miss them like I lived them. I mean, I have the perfect hair for the decade . . .   

Throwin' it back to the 80s dance my freshman year at USU. Big hair: check. Leopard pants: check. Shoulder pads: check.

Sunday Best: Fancy Pajamas

jacket: Forever 21, top: Violet Hill Boutique, pants: Bella Me, sandals: Target, necklace: Nordstrom

My husband did not approve of me buying these pants. I came out of the dressing room wearing a smile and the pants, and what did BWell say?

"They look kinda like fancy pajamas."

I don't see how that's a bad thing though. I wish I could wear fancy pajamas all the days.

Shout out to moms and women everywhere on this fine Mother's Day. I'm so grateful for the gals in my life who have been nurturers, supporters, givers of light, and positive influences. There are so many of you. I am especially grateful for my own mother, a lady who I'm happy to say has always been one of my very best friends. We as women have so much power to bring beauty and goodness into the world. I thank all women who have been living examples of that for me.

Best friends since 1990. Love you, Mom.  

Team Munch!

Last weekend, we ran a dog-friendly 5k. All the proceeds from the race went to Four Paws Rescue, which is where we rescued our Munch from. I was pretty upset because days before the race, I caught a really terrible cold. If I were better at resting when I'm sick and paying attention to my body, I wouldn't have run the race. But I'm not good at resting. I'm the most terrible at resting. I can also be really stubborn. So Friday night, I was set on running and nothing could change my mind.

Brian and I got really festive and made our own race shirts that had Munch's face plastered on them. With how cute the shirts turned out, I'm thinking we need to start making and selling Munch merchandise ;).

Saturday morning, I could hardly breathe. I ran the slowest 5k of my life, but I finished and didn't finish last, so I'm okay with it.

It was such a good time to see other dog lovers come out to the race with their canine friends. There was a man with the most beautiful German Shepherd that I wanted to dognap, but I controlled myself. It was also a lot of fun because Munch basically had a fan club. All of the volunteers from the shelter recognized Munch right away. He was pretty happy to see all his old friends.

Now I think we need an excuse to make a Luna shirt.  

Truth Tuesday

• I frequently apologize to inanimate objects. For example, I drop my phone and then say, "Sorry, phone." The other night, I ran into the wall and I was all like, "Oops, sorry." Then Brian looked at me in amazement and asked, "Did you seriously just say sorry to the wall?" It's something I'm working on. 

• I often search for pets that need to be adopted and then send BWell their pictures. I just want to have millions of pets . . . even though I know it isn't logical. Brian tells me we can't give more pets a home though because then the animals will outnumber the humans. You never know, the animals could plot against us or something.

• I went to my sister's district track meet today and they ended it early due to bad weather. I didn't even get to see her pole vault and I'm pretty torn up about it. Good thing we at least snapped a photo together or the trip would have been all in vain. 

• Speaking of my obsession-with-animals problem from earlier, I really want to get an albino peacock. They are seriously so majestic.

• I love when words are put together to form beautiful sentences. You know, the sentences that send chills down your spine and make everything in the universe make sense for just a moment? Beautiful sentences are my weakness.    

• One day when I'm a parent, if my kids aren't super hilarious, I'm going to be really disappointed. 

• My husband has never seen the movie "Andre" and he thinks I am making the whole thing up. 

• My sister (the one in the picture above) told a bunch of her friends today that I had kissed over 20 boys. That's not true. It's an utter lie and apparently my sister thinks I'm a hussy (if you've kissed more than 20 people, I promise I don't think you are an actual hussy).  

Sunday Best: ELLIE G!!!

shirt: Ellie Goulding concert tour, jeans: Smith's, sneaks: Target 

Let's be real, this post has really nothing to do with what I'm wearing and everything to do with me bragging about how awesome Ellie Goulding was in concert. She was good. Sooooo, soooo good. If you ever get a chance to see the girl live, grasp on tight to that opportunity. 

Brian got us tickets to her concert for Valentine's Day (best present ever) and then at the concert I even persuaded him into buying me the rad t-shirt seen above. Sadly, I caught a terrible cold last week but that wasn't going to stop me from having a good time. So we enjoyed a night rocking out at The Great Saltair, me with a packet of tissues tucked in my vest pocket. 

When Ellie sang "Burn" toward the end of the night, this drunk guy in his forties/fifties ended up right in front of me, dancing his heart out. It wasn't even aimless drunk dancing either, he had very specific moves at every point of the song. That's when I joined in and copied all his dance moves. Then I started a trend, because at least 10 people surrounding us started copying drunk guy's dancing. It was like Just Dance on the Wii . . . but in real life.   

XO/Kelsey 

Bear Necessities

My main squeeze turned twenty-six on Tuesday. We gorged ourselves on too much food, and I surprised Brian with a chessboard and tickets to a OneRepublic concert.

I found this at Global Village. It's the cutest nonprofit shop here in Logan that supports struggling artisans in developing countries by selling their fairly-traded handicrafts.

Throughout the entire day, I took the liberty of posting bear pictures on BWell's Facebook page to wish him a happy birthday. I even got some other people to join in on the Facebook fun. There isn't even a story behind the bear thing. It just sort of sporadically happened.

Then Brian ended the day by succumbing to the bear madness.

Brian, you're the Baloo to my "Jungle Book". We all know he's the best character. I'm so glad I get to grow old with you. We even have a chessboard now so we're all set. Retirement home, here we come.