In my sociology class, we were asked to make a list off the top of our heads of ten things describing ourselves.
I started my list out with:
1. I am creative
That was followed by:
2. I am hilarious
I then really wanted to write down
I am smart. . .
But I couldn't do it.
I continued to write down qualities describing myself. They were all nice qualities which I like very much. However, my fingers kept on itching to write down that I am smart.
Finally, I caved and put down "I am smart" at the end of my list.
Our professor then asked us if we had a significant other to have them make a list for us, to see how others saw us.
So I had Brian make a list.
After he created it, I grabbed it and nervously looked to see what ten things he had put down.
I smiled and felt my cheeks flush. . .
1. You are smart
I struggle a large amount of the time with really believing I am smart. I want to believe it, and sometimes I try to believe it. . .but I don't always believe it.
I want people to look at me and see an intelligent person.
However, I am not the best test taker in the world. Tests are a big part of earning grades while at college. I really believe I am an 'A' student. I know I am that smart. However, I don't always get 'A' grades. I probably have more 'B' grades than 'A's. I will study hard for a test, and then choke and miss problems that I understood the concept to. It is very frustrating to me. What is even more frustrating is when I see people around me that maybe have a better GPA than me. I automatically label them as smarter than me and label myself as stupid. I am not being fair to myself.
Do grades really say how smart a person is? I would like to believe not. I sure hope the guy that guessed better at filling out the bubbles isn't smarter than me, the girl that knew but psyched herself out. Plus, isn't it more important to apply what I learn rather than be able to test well on it? When I have a job, they aren't going to test me every week. They will expect me to present good, solid work every week. I can do that. I am very capable.
Brian and I have started reading a book together (yes, sometimes we act like an old married couple). It is a very special book. It is called "The Secret". We read chapter one and we have both been inspired by what we read. It is all about the secret to life, which is: YOU control what happens in your own life. Whatever you want, will come, if you really have the right mindset and never question your abilities.
The first chapter dwelled a lot on thinking positive thoughts. Always positive thoughts.
For example, if you are worried about being late for something, do not think over and over again,
"I cannot be late."
The universe only understands positive. . .so hearing I cannot be late means you WILL be late.
Instead you should think,
"I will be ten minutes early."
I know it sounds a little silly, but I completely believe it.
With tests, I have a hard time completely blocking out thoughts like,
"I don't know if I'll do well."
"I hope I pass."
"I don't want to get below a B."
These all have a negative feel to them.
I should say things like,
"I am going to ace this."
"I know all the information needed to get an A."
"I am going to think clearly and answer all the questions correctly."
See the difference?
Brian and I decided after reading chapter one of our book that we wanted to make lists. We both made a list with around five things we want to instill into our minds. Then the deal was, to hang our list somewhere we will look at it often. I decided to put mine on my closet door. I will see it right when I wake up and right before I go to sleep.
We'll see if it works. I can't wait to read chapter two!
I AM SMART.
I will tell myself until I believe it.
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