Truth Tuesday

• I have a new goal. It's called "Kelsey is going to be more confident". I really enjoy beating myself up for some reason. I tend to be an optimist about most things, except for when it comes to myself. This is going to change. It's time to start focusing on what I'm doing well and keep working on areas that need improvement. And it's time to take more risks and believe that I can go anywhere I wish to go!

• Tomorrow I am having the grandest girls' night EVER!!! Taylor Swift concert with my mom and sisters! I am excited about this. Excited enough to drop teardrops on a guitar like it's hot (and yeah, that was just a lame reference to a T-Swift song).

• I have a bad habit. Brian calls it the 'Last Bite Syndrome'. No matter how hungry or full I am, I never eat the last bite of food. Particularly when it's a sandwich. I know, I know, I need to start taking into consideration all the starving children in the world. I am a terrible bite-wasting person.

• I want to go to Vegas for my 21st birthday and wear a sequin-covered dress. I will feel mature and youthful and wonderful. . .all at the same time.

Happy Lovers in Big Sky Country

   

Don't mind the jumbled mess of pictures shown above. I hope they brought you joy instead of uneasiness. I couldn't narrow it down to just a few select pictures, so I just chose them all. And, well, my organization skills have never been the best. So there you have it.

These pictures were taken on our honeymoon. Finally, I'm just getting around to blogging about our honeymoon.

Most newlyweds choose to honeymoon somewhere slightly tropical. Perhaps where a beach is within walking distance. But Brian and I are not most. We are a bit odd, I guess you could say. When choosing a destination to escape to, we thought, "What off-the-wall place could we go to for a honeymoon?" And our answer to that question was indeed: Montana. More specifically, we wanted to go to Glacier National Park.

It was fun in itself when we had people asking us where we were going on our honeymoon.

"We're going to Glacier National Park," I would tell them.

The timid people would say, "Oh. . .that's nice." Then they would smile warmly, though it was obvious they were very confused.

The brave at heart would reply asking, "Oh. . .where is that?"

"Half the park is in Montana. The other half is in Canada."

"Oh. . .that's different."

Yes, it was different. And we don't regret it at all.

After finishing my big relay race which started in Logan and ended in Jackson Hole (the race is called Epic, google it if you're interested), we stayed in Jackson for the night. Brian was an extremely good sport and put up with me being absolutely exhausted since I'd just spent the last 48 hours running a total of about 20 miles and sitting in a vehicle with 5 other sweaty women besides myself. So we slept. I slept very peacefully in our creaky bed (we stayed in kind of a dumpy place in Jackson Hole, but it was an adventure). The next morning, we began our journey to Kalispell, Montana. We took the long route through Grand Teton National Park as well as Yellowstone. I slept a good amount of the drive (still exhausted) but the time I spent awake was nice. I don't mind long drives. Especially when it's with Brian. We keep ourselves entertained. Usually with the help of Aerosmith.

We arrived later that night to Kalispell, the small town where our hotel was. Thanks to my delightful friend, Rachel, we stayed in a nice hotel for a good rate. She works for Hilton. . .and is basically awesome. Brian and I grew to adore Kalispell during the week we stayed there. It wasn't a very large town and they do not get tons of tourists. So most people just supposed we were locals. The people there were all so sweet and friendly. I fell in love with the artsy vibe of the town. Not to mention, it was full of quirky shops, antique stores, and local restaurants. One particular restaurant that we went back to a couple of times had the most amazing tacos. I would drive the whole 12 hours right now for a taco.

I also let some rocker chick cut my hair while in Kalispell. We noticed there was not only a chapel on every street (those cowboys are religious. They drink a lot of alcohol and go to a lot of church) but also a hair salon of some kind. So I decided to take my chances. After we ate breakfast at a cute cafe one morning (and I had the chocolatiest chocolate milk ever), I just walked into a salon and said I wanted  a trim. It turned out okay. But that rocker chick was pretty intimidating. Nice but intimidating. After I let a rocker snip away at my hair, Brian acted like a rocker when we made a stop in a guitar store. You should have seen him jamming with the store owner. Awesome.  

The time we spent within Glacier National Park was incredible. This world we live in is amazing. We went on a ride across a bit of road called "Going to the Sun Highway" which was phenomenal. Anyone with a fear of heights probably would have passed out. The extremely narrow road ran right along mountain sides and even had tunnels that went through the mountains. Everywhere you looked, you could see tall cliffs piercing down at you and blue dreamy sky. And on top of that view. . .there were waterfalls. Everywhere. Waterfall after waterfall just running down every bit of mountain. The snow was still melting off, which formed gushing waterfalls. Brian and I were seriously in awe.

We also went on some fun hikes and I searched far and wide for a bear. No luck. All I wanted was to see a bear in the wild. Someday I will. And hopefully when that day comes, the bear won't maul me to death. I just want to see it and say, "Hey Bear. I'm leaving now. Thanks for letting me see you in the wild."

Well, that is a quick summary of our honeymoon. I know you are all probably thinking, "That was not quick. That was long and wordy."

But the deal is, I'm a long-winded person. My apologies. I'm going to drive some nurse nuts at the nursing home one day.

Brian and I loved Montana. The beach is always nice. We would have loved that too. But seriously, mountains, cool weather, waterfalls, and the quiet of the country. . .you don't get much more romantic than that.  

I Made This For You

Happy weekend, friends!



A Hairy Situation

In some situations, it can be difficult for an indecisive girl to make up her mind. Everything is not always black and white. Sometimes I just find myself sitting on the fence and thinking, "Oh, that side over there looks nice. But I like this side of the fence too." So then I just sit on the fence, looking back and forth, and things get out of hand.

With my hair anyways.

I need some direction. I am to the point that I'm thinking maybe it's time to try growing my hair out. Maybe I should shoot for some length. Maybe I should be really motivated and grow it real long. Long enough I can chop it all off the minute it reaches the length that qualifies to donate to Locks of Love. With the way my hair grows though, that might take years. But a breath of fresh air might be nice. I've kept my hair short for a while now.

However, maybe I should just keep it short. Stick with what I know I love, stick with what I know looks good. Because every time I see a girl with a short cut, I think to myself, "Dang, that girl looks rockin'!" And then I remember, "Hey, my hair looks a lot like hers. That means I'm rockin' too!" I just love it. I love how vulnerable my neck is. I love knowing the nape of my neck is just naked and not covered up by hair. I love how easy it is to fix in the mornings. I love that I don't have to own a curling iron, since I don't have enough hair to even try curling. I love rarely having to buy hair products because I never run out. And I think my hair loves being short too. My hair is mean. Like if my hairs were alive, I'm pretty sure they'd all be grumpy. I mean, it's course, dries out, the ends get all frizzy. . .since I've had it short it just feels healthier.

But maybe it's time for a change?

So what do I do my friends? Show me some comment love. Give this girl some advice. Do I suffer through the bitter growth process and probably have a mean looking mullet for a while, or do I stick with the short pixie styled cut?

Help a sister out. Cuz I'm lost and need direction. My hair is getting sick of my fence sitting.
  

Truth Tuesday

image found at: weheartit.com

• I woke up sick this morning. So Brian told me to get back in bed and go to sleep. I did just that. And slept through all my classes. I woke up close to noon. That is the longest I've slept in quite a while. 

• After I fell back in a deep sleep this morning, I had a dream that Brian made me go to a Power Ranger party with him. Everyone there had Power Ranger suits on, including me. I hated it and I didn't want to be at the party.

• When I was little, I was terrified of Power Rangers. That probably explains why I didn't like the party in the point above.

• Before I fell back asleep this morning, I made sure to be responsible and sent my professor a text message explaining I woke up ill, wouldn't make it to class, felt horrible, asked if I could do anything, yada yada. All he sent back was an annoying message that said, "K." Who does that? Sends a message that just says, "K"?

• The professor that sent the "K" message ended up having a pop quiz in class today. I wasn't there to take the so-called quiz. That just pisses me off. I kind of feel like punching the guy in the gut (or a bit below the gut). Of course I won't really. But it feels good to at least type it out.

That's all. I feel better already. Time to watch a movie in bed and cuddle with my pal. 

My First Encounter With a Naughty DVD

After Brian and I got married, we didn't rush off on some crazy honeymoon. We decided to put it off a week and just spend the first week of marriage in Logan. Work on getting our feet underneath us a little bit. But that doesn't mean we didn't find time that first week to have some fun.

We scored a free night stay at Anniversary Inn. We decided to book our room for a Wednesday night because we thought, "We'll be able to choose from any room we want. It won't be busy on a Wednesday night." 

Good thinking, right?

Wrong. 

There was only one room left. La Hacienda. But it turned out being an awesome room. We were fans.

When we first made it through the door and set our bags down, we decided to explore every bit of the room. I started going through all the drawers because, I dunno, I thought maybe they left us something nice there to find. I didn't find anything nice left behind for us, but I found something that was hidden and left behind accidentally. I pulled the drawer open to see a DVD tucked clear in the back. I reached back for it and began to examine what it was. It wasn't a Disney show. It wasn't any kind of show I had ever heard of. There was a big breasted blonde girl wearing a very small, very blue bathrobe. Her hand reached inside the bathrobe, ready to pull it open at any moment. 

"Brian? What IS this?" 

Brian took it from my hand, examined it for a moment and then started laughing, "I think it's a porn." 

I was disgusted. I knew people watched porn, but it's one of those things where you think all the people that watch porn don't really exist. Like I know there are murderers in the world, but I don't expect to walk into some room and find a freshly murdered body on the floor. Get what I mean? I then broke the DVD in half and threw it in the garbage. Because people that come to a themed room hotel shouldn't have to waste time watching porn. Why pay $300 for a room and then waste time watching that stuff when you could just stay at home and watch it? I don't understand. But whatever floats their boat I guess. So, whoever you are, sorry I broke your DVD. Except I'm really not that sorry. 

Besides the nasty DVD, we really enjoyed our room. The bathtub was huge and had flashing disco lights in the bottom. Dance party in the bathroom, sure thing. Chips and salsa also came with our room, so we decided to be rebels and eat chips and salsa in the bathtub. It sure was liberating. Oh, and there was a hammock. And bathrobes. But the bathrobes felt sandpaper-like. Like I was nervous it was going to peel my skin off. The cheesecake was also delicious and boy, I love having breakfast brought to my door in the morning.

One day, when we're rich, staying in cool rooms like this must happen on a regular basis. For now, I'll just keep trying to win free night stays from random drawings.

 

Anchor Me Back Down

An eerie silence falls across the barn as I sit at the piano and begin to play a song by Mindy Gledhill called "Anchor". The minute I had first heard it, I instantly thought of Brian. He is my anchor. He is the one who brings me back down when my head is in the clouds and keeps me safe. 

Here are the words to the song:

When all the world is spinning ˜round
Like a red balloon way up in the clouds
And my feet will not stay on the ground
You anchor me back down


I am nearly world renowned
As a restless soul who always skips town
But I look for you to come around
And anchor me back down


There are those who think that I'm strange
They would box me up and tell me to change
But you hold me close and softly say
That you wouldn't have me any other way


When people pin me as a clown
You behave as though I'm wearing a crown
When I'm lost I feel so very found
When you anchor me back down


When all the world is spinning 'round
Like a red balloon way up in the clouds
And my feet will not stay on the ground
You anchor me back down

Our wedding day was wonderful. It almost all seemed like a dream. I still look back and think about it, and I have to ask myself, "Did that really happen? Oh yeah, it sure did!"

Everything turned out really nice. My dress was nice. Brian looked nice. The decorations were nice, the food was nice. But the best part of all wasn't all the things that were so nice, but the people that made everything nice.

I will never forget walking into the room to be married together forever, I was excited and slightly nervous, as Brian walked beside me gently holding my hand. And when I looked in the room, I saw all the people who cared about Brian and I the very most. They were all smiling at me and I absolutely knew they all loved me. There is no better feeling in the world than knowing you are loved and then wanting to love right back completely and earnestly.

I will never forget all the people that showed up the night before the wedding to help me and my mom decorate. What could have been a major pain only took a few hours and was actually pretty fun.

I will never forget the beautiful luncheon out on Cafe Sabor's patio. Brian's mom wanted it to be perfect for us. And it was indeed perfect for us. I wouldn't have it any other way. Sitting under that umbrella, flowers in bloom around us, drinking smoothies and eating tortillas.

And I will never forget all the hugs and handshakes I received during our reception. I loved standing there, greeting people and hearing all around me in that barn the roars of conversation and laughter as folks ate ice cream and children ran around dancing on a sugar high.

That night after the reception ended, just before Brian and I made our big exit, my sister came up to me and told me goodbye. She gave me the biggest and tightest hug. That's when it dawned on me that I was really growing up.

Brian and I were starting our own family now. Kind of bittersweet. But mostly just sweet.

I feel blessed to have so many people in my life to love.

I will post pictures of the wedding as soon as I can! :)

Dear Weekend, Please Don't End

I love weekends.


It seems I now live for them.


Last weekend, we cheered our Aggies to a victory at their first home football game. They won. I love my school. We rode the bike to the game. I wore a skirt. We also took Wendy's inside to eat for dinner. Wendy's is the queen of all fast food.

This weekend, we went to a Kalai concert. Which
was held on USU's campus. Again, I love my school. If you aren't familiar with Kalai or his music, I recommend you get familiar. He is wonderful. His concerts are great because he is so random and hilarious. So basically, not only do you get the concert, but it also feels like you're at a comic show. He also has mad guitar skills and a voice of honey. Just sayin. I wanted to share one of my most favorite songs of his with all of you:

 That's all really. The point of this post is basically that I love weekends. And I love Kalai. You should listen to him. He deserves to be listened to. Also, I am pretty sure he buys his clothing from a homeless man, which makes him even cooler than you thought he was before I stated this comment.

Truth Tuesday

• I decided to share this quote because it is something I need to be reminded of personally. Life has been rough for the past week. Brian is busy balancing school with work and my school schedule is beating on me ruthlessly. I feel so guilty about what a lousy wife I've been. Sorry Brian, and thanks for always being so understanding and kind. We haven't been able to see each other much, but it is such a comfort coming home late at night, and crawling into bed next to you. 

• I really do not cuss often. However, in the past week I have probably used more swear words than I ever had before I had this blasted newscast class. Things would be much easier if the computers actually worked and did not crash every ten minutes. I would sure love to get home from campus for once before 10 at night, thanks newscast class.

• Don't get me wrong. Everything is not bad. And I must remember that. I used a nice lady razor to shave my legs this morning for the first time ever. I usually use the cheapest razors I find. However, Bri Guy did the grocery shopping this week and he surprised me with nice razors. He's been insisting I try them from the minute he realized I always (without fail) miss the hairs on my knees. I didn't believe all the wonderful things he said about them. But I should have. I'm happy to say my knees are hair free. It's the first time since middle school. 

•  Sometimes when I go out in public with my mom, I worry that people look at us and feel bad because the mom is dressed cuter than the daughter. Seriously, my mom is stylish. And that is a hardcore truth. In high school, my friends were always in awe that I trusted my mom to buy my clothing. Mother knows best. 

• It is a harsh reality, when you get married. You realize which people really care about you and you also find out who never cared at all. Luckily, most of the people in my life are the caring kind. There are a few I could count on my hand that have really let me down though. And quite frankly, I am sick of putting forth all the effort.

• I am already excited for Halloween. Grow up? Never. 

• I love receiving random hugs from people. Maybe they were inspired. Maybe not. But I like to believe that sometimes God's guardian angels are the people standing right beside us. 

My Anchor-Part 8

The leaves on the trees changed to brilliant reds, yellows, and oranges. The cool winds lurked down from Logan canyon and lashed out on all USU students that dared to wander outside. 

I put on boots and legwarmers, and I was happy. September to December is my favorite time. I love all the changes that take place as summer goes to sleep for the year. I love the holidays. I love the smells. I love the way the grass goes brown and the skies grow more grey. I love waiting for the first snowfall of winter. I love cuddling deep within layers of quilts and I love having an excuse to eat Tim Tam cookies with hot chocolate. 

And it really is such a romantic time. Summer is just too cliche for me. Don't get me wrong, there are so many wonderful things about summer. But summer is more like the guy that was fun for a moment, but you knew he'd never really stay. Fall and winter. . .that's the guy that will hold you in his arms and keep you safe for as long as you'll stay. 

This fall season was filled with discussions of marriage. Discussions that never got very far. We were both very afraid. We knew we were in love, but we also knew we were very young. We took turns running away from the topic. It was like a game of tag. Then one day, the game of tag was put to rest. 

The weekend before Thanksgiving, Brian and I were in what could have been a very serious accident. Due to very slick roads and heavy snowfall, we rolled off the road while driving through Logan canyon. We rolled right off the road and down a steep embankment where we landed in the Logan river. You can read more about that adventure by clicking here.

I look back on our accident often, and think about how very lucky we both are. We were protected. Our accident could have been fatal and our relationship could have ended at death. A tragic story for the newspapers, of a college couple dying in a rollover accident. That's when we decided we needed to take this marriage thing more seriously. Because we realized we could have lost each other that evening. And with that realization, it also dawned on me that I could never bear to lose Brian. I knew I wanted to marry him in the temple. Because then, if something horrible happened and one of us died, we would be together again one day. 

Before our accident, I had spent months and months praying, asking the Lord to tell me if Brian was the man I was supposed to marry. I never felt like I received an answer. Not the answer I was looking for, that is. I was waiting for something huge to fall out of the sky. I guess I was waiting for a booming voice to say, "KELSEY, THIS IS THE MAN YOU MUST MARRY!"

Instead, one night, after saying the same desperate prayer, I received a little answer. 

It was more like, "Kelsey, do you want to marry Brian?" 

And I thought to myself, "Yes. Yes, I do." 

And then it was, "Then why are you asking me for an answer, if you already know the answer?"

And that's the night I really knew. 

The accident then just really helped things move along. 

Christmas passed and it was wonderful. Pretty soon it was February, and the cold was getting old, just like dating was getting old. I was ready to be engaged. I didn't know if Brian had a ring yet. It was a secret. We called the temple and set a date. So I counted the months and tried to map out the possible times a proposal could take place (proposal story found here). 

Then one day, after I had been gone for the weekend at a work retreat, Brian and I took a walk along the river. 

He said to me, "You'll never guess what I did this weekend." 

"What," I asked. 

"Maybe I shouldn't tell you. You might be mad." 

After some persuading, I got it out of him, "I asked for your dad's blessing." 

I was quite shocked, and I thought about how horrifying it would be to be the man that must have such a conversation with my dad.

"I just started thinking about it. .wondering what I'd say to him. . .and before I knew it, I was driving across the Idaho border. Pretty soon, I pulled up and was at his shop."

Brian told me about how he'd walked in and my dad was more than surprised. 

My dad took him back to the office. I can envision my dad sitting behind his desk, peering over at Brian, knowing exactly what Brian had come for, but probably not wanting to believe it. I am the first, after all. And with the first child, it seems, the parents never want to believe it's really possible for a child to grow into an adult.

Brian started the conversation by saying, "Sir, I'm in love."

My dad answered with a swift, "Sorry. I don't swing that way." 

But in the end, Brian clarified he was in love with me, and my dad gave me away. Because he knew Brian would love me. And if he didn't, I'm sure my dad made a promise he would kill him with his bare hands. Because that's just what dads do. Daughters can make them violent savages. Just as love can make for mushy blog posts such as this one.    

Joy Ride

image from: weheartit.com

It is dusk. 

The whole world seems to be on fire with sunlight. 

I sit on the back of this '79 Honda with my arms clasped around him. 

I press my cheek against his worn leather jacket and grin. 

Because on the back of this bike with him, I have not a care in the world. 

We cruise down a small country road lined with trees. The branches wave sweetly in the light breeze and the leaves gleam golden from the setting sun. 

The sunflowers are abundant along the sides of the road and smile at us as we pass. 

The days left of summer are limited. 

Fall is coming. 

I can feel it. 

The air is cool. Crisp. Clear. 

I am happy. 

Because I am on this Sunday joy ride. 

With him. 

On our bike. 

And even though it smokes like a forest fire and is older than both of us, it is still our bike. 

We are two lovers on a motorcycle ride.