Monday, September 19, 2011

My First Encounter With a Naughty DVD

After Brian and I got married, we didn't rush off on some crazy honeymoon. We decided to put it off a week and just spend the first week of marriage in Logan. Work on getting our feet underneath us a little bit. But that doesn't mean we didn't find time that first week to have some fun.

We scored a free night stay at Anniversary Inn. We decided to book our room for a Wednesday night because we thought, "We'll be able to choose from any room we want. It won't be busy on a Wednesday night." 
Good thinking, right?
There was only one room left. La Hacienda. But it turned out being an awesome room. We were fans.

When we first made it through the door and set our bags down, we decided to explore every bit of the room. I started going through all the drawers because, I dunno, I thought maybe they left us something nice there to find. I didn't find anything nice left behind for us, but I found something that was hidden and left behind accidentally. I pulled the drawer open to see a DVD tucked clear in the back. I reached back for it and began to examine what it was. It wasn't a Disney show. It wasn't any kind of show I had ever heard of. There was a big breasted blonde girl wearing a very small, very blue bathrobe. Her hand reached inside the bathrobe, ready to pull it open at any moment. 
"Brian? What IS this?" 
Brian took it from my hand, examined it for a moment and then started laughing, "I think it's a porn." 

I was disgusted. I knew people watched porn, but it's one of those things where you think all the people that watch porn don't really exist. Like I know there are murderers in the world, but I don't expect to walk into some room and find a freshly murdered body on the floor. Get what I mean? I then broke the DVD in half and threw it in the garbage. Because people that come to a themed room hotel shouldn't have to waste time watching porn. Why pay $300 for a room and then waste time watching that stuff when you could just stay at home and watch it? I don't understand. But whatever floats their boat I guess. So, whoever you are, sorry I broke your DVD. Except I'm really not that sorry. 

Besides the nasty DVD, we really enjoyed our room. The bathtub was huge and had flashing disco lights in the bottom. Dance party in the bathroom, sure thing. Chips and salsa also came with our room, so we decided to be rebels and eat chips and salsa in the bathtub. It sure was liberating. Oh, and there was a hammock. And bathrobes. But the bathrobes felt sandpaper-like. Like I was nervous it was going to peel my skin off. The cheesecake was also delicious and boy, I love having breakfast brought to my door in the morning.

One day, when we're rich, staying in cool rooms like this must happen on a regular basis. For now, I'll just keep trying to win free night stays from random drawings.


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