Vegetarian vs. Veterinarian

That's my baby sister, Chloe, in the picture above. I've mentioned her before on this blog because, well, she's quite hilarious. In the past, I've told a couple Chloe stories on this here blog so I can later compile them together and embarrass her when she brings her boyfriends around.

This will just be a short story on the importance of vocabulary. Many words may be quite similar in spelling and pronunciation, yet have very different meanings. Chloe learned this important lesson a few days ago.

We were all together as a family at Sonic, enjoying a Sonic Blast. My little brother had just moved out and he was prepping himself for the new college life. Thus, our family discussion was about education. This was when my other little sister, Alexis, brought up that she didn't plan on going to more school if she didn't have to. That she would rather just get married and have babies. Me, being the feminist (slight feminist, I'm not the cray-cray kind) of the family discouraged this and that's when she replied with, "Well, I'll just be a doctor then." Then I laughed and informed her that being a doctor would require quite a few years of extra schooling.

That's when Chloe butted in. She pulled her spoon from her mouth and with a confident air, buried it beneath her cup of whipped cream and M&M swirled ice cream. Then she boldly stated, "Yeah, and to be a vegetarian, I'll have to go to about seven years of school or something like that." We all passed nervous gazes around the table. Then we all started laughing. We couldn't help it.

"Chloe, I think you meant a veterinarian," my mom so kindly informed her.

Chlo's cheeks flushed pink and she giggled at herself, "Oh yeah, that's what I meant. I want to be a veterinarian."

"Yeah, if you mean a vegetarian, you won't be able to come to our house for dinner," my dad stated.

Chloe took this very seriously and in a whiny voice replied, "But I like meat."

I feel like this moment was a milestone is Chloe's life. Better now than later. It might have created a mess if years from now she went to her college adviser to announce she wanted to declare her major in vegetarianism.

Truth Tuesday (except not really)

Last night I totally let Tuesday get away from me and didn't do a Truth Tuesday post. You see, I got so distracted putting my funny little badges on my new boy scouts shirt. Brian and I are now serving as the 11 year old boy scout leaders. I have a feeling it's going to be a hoot. Brian is an Eagle Scout and he has some pretty fond memories of his scouting days. I, on the other hand, don't know much about scouting. I do only have one brother after all. But I'm anxious to learn and I love doing outdoor things, so I'm guessing it should be a good time. I really think this calling is a good fit for us. We are both so excited to start planning hiking trips and teaching these boys how to grow into rugged mountain men. I think tonight we might teach the boys about some of the native plants that grow around these parts. Now for a couple truths. . .

• I tried Nutella for the first time last weekend and I am now in love. I've been avoiding that jar of goodness for so long because I just knew I would become obsessed. And I was right. I have big plans to make Nutella cookies this afternoon. Perhaps I'll blog about it if they end up tasting yummy. 

• Sunday night was beyond perfect weather so BWell and I slept outside. We blew up our air mattress at last minute, grabbed our sleeping bags and hunkered down on our patio. I think Luna was confused, but she ended up enjoying the fact that the humans were sleeping outside in her abode. The stars were gorgeous and it was so warm for most of the night that I just slept on top of my sleeping bag. Being married is so fun. My husband is a hoot. 

• As I type this, I am actually sitting on my patio, wearing a bathing suit, tanning. I feel so vain. 

• Our patio is the best thing ever though. I basically live out there. Like this morning. Brian and I ate breakfast out there. Toast and a bowl of strawberries. Sun shining on my face with every bite. Mmmmm, wonderful! 

• Remember that show that Bill Cosby hosted, Kids Say the Darndest Things? Well, my nine year old sister, Chloe, could totally own that show. Don't believe me? Read this story on my mom's blog and be prepared to laugh uncontrollably. 

• I really want to buy a canoe and get all Pocahontas-like. But Brian is skeptical. We have fishing licenses though. And I feel it would be double the fun to fish from a canoe rather than just stand on shore. 

• The journey of growing my hair out continues (ever so slowly). I'm working on baby steps here so my first step is to go for a bob. Maybe similar to the bottom picture shown here. Yeah?

Well, I'd say it's time to stop this nonsense. I'm getting all icky and sweaty feeling. I'm not very good at laying out. I get bored easily. But those Nutella cookies are sounding better and better every second! 

The Adventures of Dick and Jane

I think it is due time for another funny 'Chloe story'. Perhaps if I write enough of these, I can compile them into a book and give it to her when she grows up to be a young lady. Then she can be embarrassed.

Hopefully this funny story will brighten your Monday. Not that Mondays are all that bad. Poor Monday just has a bad reputation is all. I actually like my Mondays. They are my easiest school day of the week.

My dad was the only witness to this certain story, so I will tell it to the best of my abilities. Also, to some people the story might be a bit crude. Not really though. Plus, you must remember, we are dealing with the innocent mind of an eight year old here.

Chloe was doing her nightly reading as part of her homework. She had gone through her timings and her math, so now she was left to read her book in order to get a parents' initials on her calendar. Mom was not home that evening, so Dad was held responsible to make sure Chlo finished her homework. Dad decided it would be a good idea to have Chloe read her library book out loud to him. So they nestled themselves by the fire to read a book together. How precious. Chloe began to read, without having problems pronouncing any words.

Suddenly, Chloe stopped mid-sentence. Dad was alarmed and wondered if Chloe had came to a difficult word.

"Do you need help," Dad asked.

Chloe's already big eyes had grown even bigger as she peered up at Dad. She slowly shook her head no, that she did not need help.

"Well, what's wrong then? Why don't you keep reading?"

Chloe whispered, as if telling a secret to Dad, "I am not supposed to say that word."

Dad was confused.

"It's a bad word, Dad. I can't say it."

Dad knew this could not be so. There would not be any bad words in a children's book. Sure that Chloe was mistaken, Dad prompted Chloe to tell him what the 'bad word' was.

Chloe's cheeks turned pink and with a guilty face she softly said, "It says Dick."

Dad could not hold back his laughter. He then comforted Chloe by explaining to her that Dick was the boy's name, so in this story it was not bad.

Don't ask me how Chloe knew dick was not a nice word. I'm still trying to figure that one out.

All Bundled Up

These are hobo gloves. I have a pair and think they are pretty great. Whoever decided to make gloves that can turn into mittens was using their head. My littlest sister, Chloe, wanted a pair of these very badly for Christmas. Well, she now has a pair, and she loves them.

Yes, this is going to turn into a Chloe story. Note: I do not love Chloe more than my brother, Jace or sister, Lexi. It is just that Chlo is at that age where she says and does some of the goofiest things. That's all.

I don't go back to school for another week so I am just enjoying some time at home with my family. We started eating dinner tonight, which I helped with (my help was very minor but whatever), when I noticed something funny about Chloe. She was stabbing food with her fork and I realized that the hand holding her fork was wrapped up in her hobo glove. She had kept her gloves on ever since she arrived home from school, including while she ate dinner.

So I asked her, "Chloe, have you worn those gloves all day?"

She replied, "Yes, I have. Well, except not at recess."

The rest of the family gave one another odd looks and started laughing, since you'd think the one time she WOULD wear her gloves would be at recess.

"Why not at recess," my mom asked.

"I couldn't fit them on over my sledding gloves."

Chlo is just a peach.

Chloe also came home from school today wearing her snow pants. I was taken back to my grade school days when I wore my snow pants and boots to school. Not stylish at all, I know, but we have a mean sledding hill at my old elementary school. In the winter, we lived for recess so we could do some extreme sledding.


I remember once when I was probably in third grade and a slightly sarcastic and mean fifth grader said to me,


"Nice snow pants."


It was then I became aware of how funny I looked. Because you wanna know something funny? Snow pants are funny. They are hilarious. I laugh mostly every time I put them on.

Speaking of that, I'm fairly sure I would laugh every time I put one of these hats on:

I think I want one.

A Free Laugh

All of us are probably experiencing one stressful thing or another. My stressful thing is that I have finals this week. So I want to post a wonderful treasure of a picture, so we can all look at it and laugh if we start feeling stressed or down.

I hope this is half as funny as I actually think it is. . .because I find it hilarious.

Everyone, meet Chloe Ann Keller. My baby sister. As you can see, I am gonna have so much dirt on this child when she begins dating boys. Not only am I providing you all comic relief, but I am making a child's Christmas wish come true.

You see, my brother, Jace, told me an amusing story tonight.

Apparently, Chloe was making a Christmas wish list recently. She was working hard on this list, writing her deepest desires on that piece of paper. When she had finished, Jace was curious, so he took a peek at the list. He told me on the list were typical things an 8 year old girl would ask Santa for. However, something on her list had been scribbled out. Like any curious person would be, Jace wanted to decipher what Chloe had scribbled out. The reason unknown. Jace could still see pretty clearly what Chloe had written down. Chloe's scribbled out request for Santa was

. . . ."to be the funniest person in the world."

You got it Chlo-Jo. I'm letting everyone know that you are the funniest person out there.