Sunday Best: Greasy & Fabulous

jacket: Gap, top: Adornit, pants: Head Over Heels, boots: Shoe Carnival, shades: F21, light bulb necklace: Sharing Shine

It's about to get real up in here. Hygiene is overrated. There, I said it. I mean, you don't want to be smelly and force your stank on all of society, but when it comes to washing hair . . . yeah, I rarely do that. I went a whole week not washing my hair and I'm more proud of that than I probably should be. 

You see, I got my hair colored. My hair doesn't hold color exceptionally well. So to avoid washing all my money down the drain (quite literally), I went as long as possible without touching that dreadful shampoo bottle. My worst hair days are also my clean hair days. Am I alone in this? 

Anyway, these photos were taken on Wednesday, which was like, Day 4 of my dirty hair. And you know what? I felt like a rock star. I felt like a rock star with my dirty hair, floral top, and orange pants. I guess I was trying to get that same feeling across in these photos with my cool-as-a-cucumber poses, but I really just ended up looking awkward. Story of my life. 

I also went to my sister's first track meet of the season in this outfit and it was so perfect. I love track & field a bunch. My sister did great, and I thoroughly enjoyed soaking up the sun rays.  

Well . . . that's all I have to say. Have a stellar week or something. 

Current Events

Current mood: Restless. It might be the change in the weather, and now I'm just wanting summer and to be outside always. It might be the fact that I know I'm going on vacation in a month. I don't know what exactly it is . . . but I'm feeling restless to the point of losing my mind.

Current project: Brian and I made a headboard for our bed over the weekend. Fine, Brian made the headboard and I told him what I wanted it to look like. That husband is mega talented. I love that I get to benefit from his skills. I'm so in love with our bedroom. I'm actually excited to make the bed and put laundry away nowadays because the room just looks so darn good when it's clean. It's crazy how putting forth a little effort on something can change your perspective. I kind of hated our bedroom before. Now, after a couple Saturdays of projects, it's my favorite room in our bungalow.

The headboard has lights behind it too. Here's a photo to show that off . . . but just know it's much cooler in person.

Currently craving: Chick-fil-A!! I wanted those nuggets and that Polynesian sauce very badly for lunch today. But I resisted and had a hard boiled egg instead. Still can't get those waffle fries and a Cherry Coke off my mind though. Why does all the good tasting food have to be so bad for you?

Currently reading: Flygirl by Sherri L Smith. I bought this book on a total whim. It was used (but still in stellar condition) and only cost $3. It's truly a treasure and one I'm glad to have on my bookshelf. I have an obsession with books set around WWII time. The story follows a black girl who passes for white so she can join the WASP organization. It's absolutely crazy to me that people were and still are treated differently because of skin color. This book has also made me extra grateful for the women who came before me who were brave enough to follow their dreams (in a time when it wasn't so popular for women to do so).

Currently watching: I don't watch much television. Yesterday I made the mistake of turning it on when I got home from work, only to discover a marathon of America's Next Top Model was on. I immediately got sucked in and watched three episodes. I cleaned my kitchen during commercial breaks so it aint all bad.

Current tunes: I've been on a late 90s/early 2000s kick. Third Eye Blind radio on Pandora has been my jam lately. Like the rest of the world, I'm also obsessed with Uptown Funk.

Currently looking forward to: Our big vacation to THAILAND!! I cannot wait to kiss an elephant. Not looking forward to that looooong flight though. Hopefully I'll get some reading and writing done.

Currently wearing: Combat boots, grey jeans, grey shirt, and a maroon button-up . . . complete with a baseball cap. I'm real classy casual today.

Currently eating: I've been eating yogurt with granola mixed in every morning like it's my job. Freaking delicious.

Currently loving: My new hair for spring, courtesy of my lovely cousin, Megan. She did such a rocking job. I'm obsessed. I'm also loving this spring weather. Going outside and hearing birds chirping makes my heart so happy. They've been eating out of our bird feeder like mad lately. It's fine, I'm just sort of a crazy bird woman.

Currently wanting: A bengal cat. Google them and you'll want one too.

Currently missing: My little bro. I'm ready for him to come home from his mission already. I know he's doing great and important work, but I'm just getting antsy to hug him, argue with him, and laugh with him again. It's going to be awesome having him in Logan with me this fall.

Currently avoiding: Cleaning my office. It's bad, guys.

Currently trying: To go to bed earlier (so I can get my butt out of bed earlier), to drink more water, and to communicate more with the Man Upstairs.

Sunday Best: The Lipstick Tragedy

And then Munch came along and stole the show. I need to take modeling lessons from him . . .

coat: Adornit, blouse: Kohl's, jeans: Head Over Heels, flats: PacSun, earrings: Adornit 

I wore this outfit on Wednesday. I even wore lipstick which made me feel pretty snazzy.

I'm a radio deejay on a Top 40 station. Sometimes we have tours from schools come through to check out what a radio station is like. On Wednesday, a tour of middle school students came to visit. My station is pretty popular among the middle school students, so I was excited to introduce myself and play it cool with them. Luckily, I was also dressed to impress. They came into the station, said hello nervously, and started asking my questions about what it's like to be a deejay on the radio. Then we took a group photo together.

Immediately after they left, I realized I had lipstick smeared across my front teeth. Fail. So much for tricking any teenagers into thinking I'm cool. It must be true what they say. I have a face for radio.

Here's to a brand new week of daring to wear lipstick! Also, my coat I'm wearing from Adornit? It's a true work of art. Heart eyes for forever.

I Am Worthy

I've been experiencing that awful thing they call writer's block. And I think there is a very definite and precise reason for my writer's block. There are certain things I've needed to write down . . . but haven't wanted to write down. It felt easier to bury the words deep inside and let them fester. For weeks now, I've wondered if this is something I should share in a public place or just save in the depths of my journal. But I had this sudden epiphany that maybe I'm not as alone in my loneliness as I believe I am. The majority may not relate to or understand this entry, but if just one person can relate and feel less alone, then I think my job here is done. In the words of Ernest Hemingway, I'm ready to write hard and clear about what hurts.

This past Sunday, we celebrated International Women's Day. To be completely vulnerable, I've struggled lately in feeling worthy as a woman. These feelings of worthlessness have left me more discouraged than I think I'm willing to let on.

I'm realizing a pattern in the life of being a woman. At each stage of womanhood, the world somehow tricks us into believing that our worthiness hangs on one single thing. As teenagers, we begin to base our worth on the amount of attention we get from boys. We grow a bit older and find ourselves measuring our worth by the body we see in the mirror. Then at a certain age (here in Utah it's our early twenties), we are only worthy if we have a diamond on our finger. The next stage of worth seems to be how well our reproductive organs perform.

I am entering that stage of life where I'm going to a lot of baby showers. And that's so exciting! I love watching my friends become mothers. However, just because many of my friends are becoming mothers doesn't mean I'm anywhere ready to become one. I live in an area of the world where the majority of women set aside a career to become a mother, usually at a young age. Let me first say: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. I know for so many girls, they grow up dreaming of becoming moms. But to be honest, I never grew up really having that be my sole dream. Growing up in a society that often taught women we were to be wives and moms has more than once left me wondering if there is something wrong with me.

In the sixth grade, we had to do a pretty extensive career report. For years, I'd been obsessed with detective work. My mom regularly bought me mystery kits and I would spend hours in my room "solving crimes". I immediately knew what career I wanted to study for my report: a Crime Scene Investigator. When the day came for us to give our reports, I was one of two girls in my grade that didn't give the presentation of being a hair stylist/stay-at-home mom (not knocking either of those jobs. I love the hair stylists and moms in my life). My friend who was the one other girl to not give the same report quickly added at the end of her report that she would probably be a mom too. I was so proud to talk to my class about being a CSI. I even brought my fingerprint kit and took everyone's fingerprints. It was a hit. I remember for a split second at the end of my report, wondering if I should add something about being a mom, but I couldn't do it because I didn't want to lie. I was 12 and had no clue if I wanted to have children or not. I've never been one to give into pressure.

Check it out! I actually dug up a photo from my 6th grade career report. Enjoy 12-year-old tomboy Kelsey in all her awkward glory. 

Through my teenage years, I remember many a church lesson about motherhood and how as women we are natural nurturers. I know the point of these lessons was never to offend but to help us feel valued, but I never felt valued afterward. I felt worried. I didn't feel nurturing. The idea of homemaking made me want to gag. Did that mean I was broken? Would God not love me?

I can honestly say that I'm growing more fond of the idea of becoming a mother. It still freaks me out . . . but I do know it's something I want to do eventually. But I need to do it for myself and my family. I can't just become a mother because it's expected of me or because it would help me to fit in. I'm not on society's time frame. I'm on mine and God's time frame. I'm also aware that when I do have children, I won't magically turn into a wondrous homemaker as well. I know my strengths. Homemaking is not one of them. Sure, it's something I can work to improve at . . . but I still probably won't enjoy it. But you know what? I'm not going to become a mother so I can make bread and drive kids to soccer practice. I want to someday be a mother so I can teach someone of the profound beauty and value there is to life. I want to someday raise people who might have good influence in the world. That's what attracts me to motherhood. And I want to be an example to my own kids. I want them to see their own mother working at being an influence.

I know people don't always understand me. That's okay. The only person who needs to know the intentions of my heart is God. I know I am worthy in God's eyes. And that's all I need to know. So I'll try to not get frustrated when I call in sick and the whole office spreads rumors that I'm pregnant. I'll try to not get discouraged at church when people act like they pity me because I'm childless. I'll try to not grow annoyed when I'm asked for the millionth time when we are going to start having kids.

My complete worth as a person and as a woman is not based on being a mother. I'm much more complex than that. ;)

So girls, ladies, females: With whatever stage of life you are currently in, I hope you know you're worthy.

Your worth is not based on a relationship.
Your worth is not based on a prom dress.
Your worth is not based on a pant size.
Your worth is not based on a diamond ring or a white dress.
Your worth is not based on children.
Your worth is not based on how many homecooked meals you make per week.
Your worth is not based on how clean your house is.
Your worth is not based on the clothes you wear.
Your worth is not based on your education.
Your worth is not based on your paycheck.
Your worth is not based on your beauty.
Your worth is not based on your sexuality.
Your worth is not based on how old you are.
Or how young you are.

You are worthy. You are a wonderful, complex, passionate human being. Don't let anyone make you feel like you're not. You are worth more than you can imagine.      

Truth Tuesday

•  Brian and I got this idea for a children's chapter book series, and we're totally running with it now. We started story boarding tonight. It sounds a bit ridiculous . . . but it's ridiculous ideas that make you famous (or something). Plus, even if it never goes anywhere, at least we can say, "Hey, remember that time we wrote that goofy book series?

• I shaved my face for the first time yesterday (peach fuzz central). I learned how from A Ting Thing on Youtube. Check out her face shaving tutorial right here. Then watch all the rest of her videos. She's a sweet little bubble of energy, and I'll basically buy or do anything she tells me to now.  

• I'm toying with the idea of running a FULL FREAKING marathon. I'll probably chicken out and change my mind. I'm thinking it's probably the most ideal time in my life to train for one. But then I start thinking about the pain of a half marathon and I can't even imagine doubling it. 

• I'm a total huge fan of Beauty Redefined. Today on Facebook, they posted about how girls' and women's time spent on social media is correlated with depression, anxiety, loneliness, and a whole bunch of other things I don't need in my life. I really believe it, too. That's why I'm making an effort to spend less time in front on the computer screen and scrolling through Instagram. I just recently found out that some people actually track how many followers they have and who and when people unfollow them using some sort of an app. That just sounds exhausting. If you do that . . . stop. Stop right now. That's a waste of energy that could be spent elsewhere.

• It's been one year since we adopted THE MUNCH! Munchy is our dog. We adopted him from the most wonderful rescue shelter here in Logan. Since I'm a complete psycho and find any excuse for a party, we celebrated our pooch this past Sunday. I kind of jokingly sent a text to my sixteen-year-old sister saying, "Want to come to Munch's adoptiversary?" And they came! My parents and siblings came on Sunday, and they wore party hats and ate cake FOR MY DOG! Munch wore a party hat too and had his own special dog cake. I'm hoping to write up a post soon on our experience with pet adoption because I'm so weirdly passionate about it! I just want everyone to adopt now since our experience was so grand! But until that post . . . I'll leave you with a few phone pics from Munch's party.  

This baby sister of mine also drew the sweetest sketch of Munch that I may have to share here at a later date. 

Luna in the bottom-left corner kills me. She was all kinds of jealous that Munch was getting the attention. 

Sunday Best: Gimme ALL the Layers

sweater: Bella Me, dress: Violet Hill Boutique, leggings: Forever 21, socks: TJ Maxx, boots: Old Navy, scarf: AdornIt

Sometimes when it gets cold and dreary outside, I just throw on layers upon layers of clothing and then I feel better about life. I mean, I realize this outfit may or may not be atrocious on many levels. But you know what? It was either this outfit or I wore sweats and a hoodie (why is hoodie not recognized as a real word?) to work. Yep, I win. 

Layering. It's just so much fun, I don't know when to stop.