But perhaps the very best thing about driving alone, is the time I spend having a little visit with myself. Some of my very best heart-to-hearts with friends and family have been spent while driving in the car. Funny enough, some of my best heart-to-hearts with myself are spent in the car as well. When it's just me. I love me some Kelsey time. It really is awesome though. Whenever I have a lot on my mind, and just need to clear my head, driving alone seems to help.
This past weekend, I drove from my home in little Weston back to my apartment in Logan pretty late at night. I debated forever whether or not I should just stay the night at my house and drive back early in the morning, or just drive through the dead of the night. I realized I was wide awake though and chose the dead of the night option.
As I made the 40 minute drive, I thought about a lot of things. This is good. I tend to think about things like crazy, but my crazy thoughts never get organized. They also get trapped inside of me. I know it sounds funny, but I have a rough time always knowing what I'm thinking and what I want. It's almost like a fly that gets caught in a jar. The fly tries countless times to escape, but has no way to perform that task. With the lid on the jar there is no way out. But the silly fly just flies into the glass over and over again. My mind is like that. Yes, I actually did just compare my mind to a jar full of flies. Those annoying, buzzing flies are all my thoughts. They're going crazy in that jar, just bouncing off the sides. On occassion, I figure out for myself how to unscrew the lid, and the flies wander out. Free! Free, buzzing flies. Free to go buzz to the world and get swatted at! While driving the other night, I freed some flies.
I thought a lot about my friends. How much I love them. They mean the world to me. I hope they know that. Growing up makes it harder to always stay in touch with friends like I want to. Even the ones I live with, I don't spend every second of every day with them. We're growing up. Dang it. Things are changing. We're all going out and pursuing our dreams. The trick is: We have different dreams. And that's good. But challenging sometimes. It's a hard thing for me to understand. Why the way friendships function has to change. But I know the friendships themselves don't have to change. Never. I thought about how my good friends have molded me, led me in the right directions. I owe them so much. I hope they know how much I love them. Even though things are different. If I got a call saying I had to lay down my life for one of them, I'd do it. I hope they believe that.
I also thought about girls that date jerks. And how silly that is. It makes me angry sometimes. That girls will put up with it. I hate seeing them hurt and be treated bad. I've been worried about some certain girls lately that I care about a lot. I hope they realize they deserve better. As I drove across country roads, I found myself looking into the night sky, sprinkled with summer's sweet stars, saying a prayer that those girls would one day find a guy that treats them half as well as the guy I found.
I thought about hundreds of other things. I could go on forever. But many of my thoughts aren't very relevant. Most of them turn out being extremely random. Like ways I could sneak a pet into my apartment, or how long I could go without candy in order to get my washboard abs for the summer (not likely to happen. Let's get real here.), or making plans for some kind of camping trip. But all in all, late night drives filled with some quality time with myself are pure genius. Thanks me, for being such a great listener.