Friday, May 28, 2010

A Year? Really?

This past Wednesday marked a year since I graduated high school. Crazy. That year flew by. Going to graduation was so strange, because in a way I felt like I was graduating all over again. I feel like I was just barely in high school, but at the same time I feel like I've been out on my own forever. I had so many mixed emotions as I watched some of my close friends on their special night. I remember that day a year ago so clearly.

It was a pretty stressful day. I'd been out at the school finishing my classes for NCAA so I'd be eligible to run track at USU. Then Goldie wouldn't start. That darn van makes me so angry sometimes. . .but I still love her. So I was stranded at the school. I called my mom probably twenty times. No answer. Luckily, I had Jordan Beutler in the library to keep me entertained. My friend Abbie better be nervous about that, since Jord is her little brother (and I secretly love him). Finally on probably the hundredth desperate call, my mom answered. By the time I got home, I had half an hour to get ready. I was stressed out of my mind. I came running through the door, my tassels around my neck crooked, with about ten minutes to spare. But I still made it. And I graduated. It was great. Such an awesome night. So many feelings were bursting inside of me. So many hopes for the future. So much fear of the unknown. Now here I am, a year later, living my life. I still have many hopes for the future and fear of the unknown, but that's what makes life awesome.
I will admit that sometimes I still miss high school. That doesn't make me pathetic. When I'm fifty years old, I will still have days when I'll miss high school. I loved my four years at West Side. They were incredible. I had a blast. I made some of the greatest friends and memories along with them.
I loved playing sports. I loved the joy and the pain that came from winning and losing.
I loved student government, and getting to be pals with Mr. Bingham. Such a cute, little principal.
I loved the musical where I got to carry around the Krambule twins' dog and sing my mom's favorite song, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow".
I loved my teachers and everything they taught me.
Luckily, missing high school on occasion and trying to still be in high school are two very different things. I love where I'm at now. I love Utah State. It is such an amazing place to go to school. It's a place where I'm making more friends and memories for the next chapter in my life.
I just want to end this entry with the words from the song our choir sang at our graduation. I bawled the whole song. I felt like such an idiot. My face was red and wet and each time I tried to get a word out, it just turned into a sob. Then my friend, Catherine, who stood next to me in choir, reached out and grabbed my hand. That made me cry more. She's always been around to hold my hand though. We've been friends since we were four. Thanks Cat! I love you girl. And I love this song! It's from Wicked, the musical. The words are amazing. Just see for yourself...

For Good

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the thing I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood
Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better
And because I knew you...
Because I knew you...Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good.

Congrats 2010 Graduates!! :)


  1. I can't believe it's been a whole year either! Wow! It seems like you were just barely coming home from your fist day of 1st grade. I'll never forget that day because you were so excited and had so many stories to share! And, now you are 19!! I'm happy that you have had such a great experience at USU, and I'm happy that you have such good high school memories. I still miss those years and friends at good old West Side. I always will!!! I have to say too, that after looking at these pictures, Jace has changed more than anyone over the past year. He's taller than you now! Love you girl!

  2. Ha, Jace is growing up! That's for sure! I remember that day too!!! I was amazed with so many 1st grade things. Like PE. And the lunch trays. And the mashed potatoes. Everything wouldn't have have been such an amazing trip if it weren't for my wonderful parents. Love you Mom! And thanks... :)


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