A Year? Really?

This past Wednesday marked a year since I graduated high school. Crazy. That year flew by. Going to graduation was so strange, because in a way I felt like I was graduating all over again. I feel like I was just barely in high school, but at the same time I feel like I've been out on my own forever. I had so many mixed emotions as I watched some of my close friends on their special night. I remember that day a year ago so clearly.

It was a pretty stressful day. I'd been out at the school finishing my classes for NCAA so I'd be eligible to run track at USU. Then Goldie wouldn't start. That darn van makes me so angry sometimes. . .but I still love her. So I was stranded at the school. I called my mom probably twenty times. No answer. Luckily, I had Jordan Beutler in the library to keep me entertained. My friend Abbie better be nervous about that, since Jord is her little brother (and I secretly love him). Finally on probably the hundredth desperate call, my mom answered. By the time I got home, I had half an hour to get ready. I was stressed out of my mind. I came running through the door, my tassels around my neck crooked, with about ten minutes to spare. But I still made it. And I graduated. It was great. Such an awesome night. So many feelings were bursting inside of me. So many hopes for the future. So much fear of the unknown. Now here I am, a year later, living my life. I still have many hopes for the future and fear of the unknown, but that's what makes life awesome.

I will admit that sometimes I still miss high school. That doesn't make me pathetic. When I'm fifty years old, I will still have days when I'll miss high school. I loved my four years at West Side. They were incredible. I had a blast. I made some of the greatest friends and memories along with them.

I loved playing sports. I loved the joy and the pain that came from winning and losing.

I loved student government, and getting to be pals with Mr. Bingham. Such a cute, little principal.

I loved the musical where I got to carry around the Krambule twins' dog and sing my mom's favorite song, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow".

I loved my teachers and everything they taught me.

Luckily, missing high school on occasion and trying to still be in high school are two very different things. I love where I'm at now. I love Utah State. It is such an amazing place to go to school. It's a place where I'm making more friends and memories for the next chapter in my life.

I just want to end this entry with the words from the song our choir sang at our graduation. I bawled the whole song. I felt like such an idiot. My face was red and wet and each time I tried to get a word out, it just turned into a sob. Then my friend, Catherine, who stood next to me in choir, reached out and grabbed my hand. That made me cry more. She's always been around to hold my hand though. We've been friends since we were four. Thanks Cat! I love you girl. And I love this song! It's from Wicked, the musical. The words are amazing. Just see for yourself...

For Good

I've heard it said

That people come into our lives for a reason

Bringing something we must learn

And we are led

To those who help us most to grow

If we let them

And we help them in return

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true

But I know I'm who I am today

Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit

As it passes a sun

Like a stream that meets a boulder

Halfway through the wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you

I have been changed for good

It well may be

That we will never meet again

In this lifetime

So let me say before we part

So much of me

Is made of what I learned from you

You'll be with me

Like a handprint on my heart

And now whatever way our stories end

I know you have re-written mine

By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring

By a wind off the sea

Like a seed dropped by a skybird

In a distant wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you

Because I knew you

I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air

I ask forgiveness

For the thing I've done you blame me for

But then, I guess we know

There's blame to share

And none of it seems to matter anymore

Like a comet pulled from orbit

As it passes a sun

Like a stream that meets a boulder

Halfway through the wood

Like a ship blown from its mooring

By a wind off the sea

Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

Who can say if I've been

Changed for the better?

I do believe I have been

Changed for the better

And because I knew you...

Because I knew you...Because I knew you...

I have been changed for good.

Congrats 2010 Graduates!! :)