Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Truth Tuesday

  • I decided to share this quote because it is something I need to be reminded of personally. Life has been rough for the past week. Brian is busy balancing school with work and my school schedule is beating on me ruthlessly. I feel so guilty about what a lousy wife I've been. Sorry Brian, and thanks for always being so understanding and kind. We haven't been able to see each other much, but it is such a comfort coming home late at night, and crawling into bed next to you. 

  • I really do not cuss often. However, in the past week I have probably used more swear words than I ever had before I had this blasted newscast class. Things would be much easier if the computers actually worked and did not crash every ten minutes. I would sure love to get home from campus for once before 10 at night, thanks newscast class.

  • Don't get me wrong. Everything is not bad. And I must remember that. I used a nice lady razor to shave my legs this morning for the first time ever. I usually use the cheapest razors I find. However, Bri Guy did the grocery shopping this week and he surprised me with nice razors. He's been insisting I try them from the minute he realized I always (without fail) miss the hairs on my knees. I didn't believe all the wonderful things he said about them. But I should have. I'm happy to say my knees are hair free. It's the first time since middle school. 
  •  Sometimes when I go out in public with my mom, I worry that people look at us and feel bad because the mom is dressed cuter than the daughter. Seriously, my mom is stylish. And that is a hardcore truth. In high school, my friends were always in awe that I trusted my mom to buy my clothing. Mother knows best. 
  • It is a harsh reality, when you get married. You realize which people really care about you and you also find out who never cared at all. Luckily, most of the people in my life are the caring kind. There are a few I could count on my hand that have really let me down though. And quite frankly, I am sick of putting forth all the effort.
  • I am already excited for Halloween. Grow up? Never. 
  • I love receiving random hugs from people. Maybe they were inspired. Maybe not. But I like to believe that sometimes God's guardian angels are the people standing right beside us. 

My Anchor-Part 8


The leaves on the trees changed to brilliant reds, yellows, and oranges. The cool winds lurked down from Logan canyon and lashed out on all USU students that dared to wander outside. 

I put on boots and legwarmers, and I was happy. September to December is my favorite time. I love all the changes that take place as summer goes to sleep for the year. I love the holidays. I love the smells. I love the way the grass goes brown and the skies grow more grey. I love waiting for the first snowfall of winter. I love cuddling deep within layers of quilts and I love having an excuse to eat Tim Tam cookies with hot chocolate. 

And it really is such a romantic time. Summer is just too cliche for me. Don't get me wrong, there are so many wonderful things about summer. But summer is more like the guy that was fun for a moment, but you knew he'd never really stay. Fall and winter. . .that's the guy that will hold you in his arms and keep you safe for as long as you'll stay. 

This fall season was filled with discussions of marriage. Discussions that never got very far. We were both very afraid. We knew we were in love, but we also knew we were very young. We took turns running away from the topic. It was like a game of tag. Then one day, the game of tag was put to rest. 

The weekend before Thanksgiving, Brian and I were in what could have been a very serious accident. Due to very slick roads and heavy snowfall, we rolled off the road while driving through Logan canyon. We rolled right off the road and down a steep embankment where we landed in the Logan river. You can read more about that adventure by clicking here.

I look back on our accident often, and think about how very lucky we both are. We were protected. Our accident could have been fatal and our relationship could have ended at death. A tragic story for the newspapers, of a college couple dying in a rollover accident. That's when we decided we needed to take this marriage thing more seriously. Because we realized we could have lost each other that evening. And with that realization, it also dawned on me that I could never bear to lose Brian. I knew I wanted to marry him in the temple. Because then, if something horrible happened and one of us died, we would be together again one day. 

Before our accident, I had spent months and months praying, asking the Lord to tell me if Brian was the man I was supposed to marry. I never felt like I received an answer. Not the answer I was looking for, that is. I was waiting for something huge to fall out of the sky. I guess I was waiting for a booming voice to say, "KELSEY, THIS IS THE MAN YOU MUST MARRY!"
Instead, one night, after saying the same desperate prayer, I received a little answer. 
It was more like, "Kelsey, do you want to marry Brian?" 
And I thought to myself, "Yes. Yes, I do." 
And then it was, "Then why are you asking me for an answer, if you already know the answer?"
And that's the night I really knew. 
The accident then just really helped things move along. 

Christmas passed and it was wonderful. Pretty soon it was February, and the cold was getting old, just like dating was getting old. I was ready to be engaged. I didn't know if Brian had a ring yet. It was a secret. We called the temple and set a date. So I counted the months and tried to map out the possible times a proposal could take place (proposal story found here). 
Then one day, after I had been gone for the weekend at a work retreat, Brian and I took a walk along the river. 
He said to me, "You'll never guess what I did this weekend." 
"What," I asked. 
"Maybe I shouldn't tell you. You might be mad." 
After some persuading, I got it out of him, "I asked for your dad's blessing." 
I was quite shocked, and I thought about how horrifying it would be to be the man that must have such a conversation with my dad.
"I just started thinking about it. .wondering what I'd say to him. . .and before I knew it, I was driving across the Idaho border. Pretty soon, I pulled up and was at his shop."
Brian told me about how he'd walked in and my dad was more than surprised. 
My dad took him back to the office. I can envision my dad sitting behind his desk, peering over at Brian, knowing exactly what Brian had come for, but probably not wanting to believe it. I am the first, after all. And with the first child, it seems, the parents never want to believe it's really possible for a child to grow into an adult.
Brian started the conversation by saying, "Sir, I'm in love."
My dad answered with a swift, "Sorry. I don't swing that way." 

But in the end, Brian clarified he was in love with me, and my dad gave me away. Because he knew Brian would love me. And if he didn't, I'm sure my dad made a promise he would kill him with his bare hands. Because that's just what dads do. Daughters can make them violent savages. Just as love can make for mushy blog posts such as this one.    

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Joy Ride

image from: weheartit.com

It is dusk. 
The whole world seems to be on fire with sunlight. 
I sit on the back of this '79 Honda with my arms clasped around him. 
I press my cheek against his worn leather jacket and grin. 
Because on the back of this bike with him, I have not a care in the world. 
We cruise down a small country road lined with trees. The branches wave sweetly in the light breeze and the leaves gleam golden from the setting sun. 
The sunflowers are abundant along the sides of the road and smile at us as we pass. 
The days left of summer are limited. 
Fall is coming. 
I can feel it. 
The air is cool. Crisp. Clear. 
I am happy. 
Because I am on this Sunday joy ride. 
With him. 
On our bike. 
And even though it smokes like a forest fire and is older than both of us, it is still our bike. 
We are two lovers on a motorcycle ride.