Five Things I Love About Being ME

Valentine's Day was a thing that happened. I'm a fan of Valentine's Day because I'm a fan of loving people. I love others pretty easily.

I wish I could also say that I love myself easily. Some days I do, other days it's harder. It's not like I'm one of those self-loathing people who has zero self-esteem. I think I'm more confident than your average bear, and overall I'd say I'm quite a cool person. I like a lot of things about myself.

However, since I was a little girl I've had a problem with perfectionism. I expect perfection from myself. Obviously, I'm far from perfect, so I continually set myself up for disappointment and failure. Whenever I do something awesome, my first thought is always, "I could have done (fill in the blank) better." It's a rather exhausting way to live, thinking that I'm never good enough. Sure, I want to constantly progress and better myself, but sometimes I think it's more than okay to give yourself a big pat on the back. This is what this post is: a big, fat pat on my back.

Five Things I Love About Being ME 

1. I have a big heart. As already mentioned, I love easily. Sometimes this can be a painful trait to have. I worry myself sick over others, feeling their pains and wanting to somehow mend them. Even though my big heart often feels too heavy for my chest to carry, I wouldn't have it any other way. I guess in many ways, having a big heart can sometimes make my load lighter. I don't get offended easily or hold grudges. I would rather just love. I think having a big heart can make it easier to be forgiving. When others have wronged me, I try to look at that person with love. It's hard to stay mad for long if you do that. It brings me immense joy to serve, and help, and love others. I really feel like lifting others is my purpose for living.

2. I'm a good listener. I've always felt I'm fairly good at listening, but studying journalism taught me the art of listening on a whole new level. Sure, I'm not making the big bucks with my journalism degree (yet), but I feel like some of the qualities I developed from my studies have made me a better person. If you haven't noticed, the world has a lot of talkers. We need more good listeners. One of the nicest compliments I've ever received was at a work retreat when we went around saying nice things about each coworker. When it was my turn to be flooded with compliments, one girl said that she loved talking to me because she felt like I was always genuinely interested in what she had to say. It made me so happy that my coworker felt this way about me. I hope I can always be a person who others feel safe talking to. I've learned that good listening isn't just hearing what a person says, it's hearing a person and then trying to understand where that person is coming from. Since I've developed the understanding side of listening, it's made listening that much more enjoyable for me. Sure, I have my own opinions . . . but I'm willing to hear the opinions of others and also respect people for their differing opinions. I've learned so much about my surroundings, the world and myself from listening to others' voices. I would much rather learn and grow than think I'm right all the time.

3. I'm a doer. When I want to do something . . . I do it. I thought this was a normal thing that all humans did. I'm beginning to realize though that a lot of people talk about doing things but then seldom do the things they talk about. Fear might be stopping them, maybe laziness. I really have no clue. I just know I'm so grateful that I'm both a dreamer and a doer. I'm not even talking about huge things here. I'm talking about something as simple as getting together with a friend. How often have you ran into someone and you say, "We need to get together for lunch someday," and then they say, "Yeah, we do!" And then how often does the conversation stop there and lunch never happens? I try my best to make it a habit to follow through on what I say. When a friend tells me we should do lunch, I try to reply with something like, "Yeah, we do need to go to lunch! When? I'm open next Friday." Being a doer is something that anyone can make a habit in their life. It just takes a little practice and work. This past weekend I did something else I've been saying I want to do. We redid our bedroom. I've been talking about it for the past month so when we finally had an open Saturday, I was determined to make what I'd been talking about a reality. We marched over to Home Depot and bought supplies, and I spent all of Saturday painting walls the deepest and dreamiest of blues. I love just sitting in my bedroom now. It's a sign to me of my doing. If I don't like something, I don't complain about it, I take action instead. If I have a fun idea, I take action. If I want to go on a trip, I take action. Okay, you get it. I do stuff.

4. My enthusiasm for life is unstoppable. I get excited about ALL things big and small. It seems my childhood excitement never wore off as I grew up and for that, I'm forever grateful. I still wake up at the crack of dawn on Christmas Day, I'll notice a pretty sunset and talk about it for longer than what's normal, and you'd think it's Christmas Day when I get to go out for ice cream. I'm just excited about living. When Brian and I have an actual child around here, the enthusiasm might be through the roof.

5. I'm eccentric. As a little girl, my grandma always told me that weird is wonderful and normal is boring. I kind of took that saying to heart. I'm true to myself . . . even if that means I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb in the process. I wear clothes that make me happy and I get haircuts that make me feel spunky. I've never felt that it's necessary to fit in with the crowd or be accepted by others. I know that first and foremost, I need to accept myself. Of course I want other people to like me. Don't we all? But I'm learning that it's more important for me to like myself. I won't like myself if I pretend to be something I'm not.

If I had a sixth quality to brag about, it would be that I'm extremely humble . . . ha ha. Really though, why does it sometimes feel so incredibly uncomfortable to say good things about ourselves? Sometimes when my husband will say something negative about himself, I'll make him say five nice things about himself. It's the best. But I guess I should start doing my own exercise. I think as women in general, we drag ourselves down and pick ourselves apart. We are quick to point out our imperfections and shy away from what we're good at. So I'm going to challenge you, next time you have a negative thought, try thinking of five positive ones. I'm going to take the challenge on too. :)  

Sunday Best: Practicing Self-love

cardigan: Target, dress: Kohl's, tights: Old Navy, heels: Payless 

Sometimes I wonder why I have a blog. Why do I feel the need to put pieces of my life out there for the world to see? Plus, I'm going to be honest for a second, a large majority of bloggers bug to shit out of me. Excuse my french, but it's the ugly truth. I don't want people to look at this blog and think I'm conceited, throwing my life around on the internet. 

But when I take a step back, I realize I'm not really keeping this online record for anyone but myself. I love reading back through my archives and remembering what I was going through at certain times in life. I love seeing the old photos and how I've changed. It's theraputic for me. And while I write in a private journal as well, keeping a blog results in a lot less hand cramps and ink smears. 

Sometimes I feel really silly about these Sunday Best posts, too. I'm no fashion icon or model. I mean, look at these above photos . . . I'm a total dork. But I like that about myself. I don't shop at high-end stores. I like that about myself too. And I'm sure that there are plenty of times I'm out and about and people think I look like a total train wreck. I like that as well. The truth is, I wear what I want. I don't dress to impress. I don't put something on and ask myself if I can "pull it off". I dress to make myself happy. So while no one is looking at my Sunday Best posts for outfit inspiration, I love looking back at them for myself. It's fun to see what clothes I wore a year or two years ago. It's a style journal. I enjoy that. 

And that's why I sheepishly asked BWell if he'd take my photo today, because I really liked the outfit I had on. It made me feel confident and spunky. I wanted to capture that feeling for longer than just today. 

Over the past year, I learned to care a lot less about what other people think of me. However, I'm still working on mastering what I think of myself. I, like everyone else, beat myself up, feel guilt for no reason and think negative thoughts. I want to get rid of those burdens this year. So since Valentine's Day is about a month away, I want to practice self-love. Really, I want to make it a habit of practicing through the entire year of 2015. I found this gem of an article that I really enjoyed. I'm determined to practice all of the things on that list. In fact, I'm making it a priority this week to clean out my closet. Out with the old and in with the new. I also have interviews, lunch dates, and appointments lined up this coming week with people who inspire me. I'm looking forward to spending time with these people and feeding off their energy . . . absorbing their light. I'm finding that I absorb people's energy very easily, so it's vital that I surround myself with positive and self-loving people. 

How do you practice self-love? 

On the topic of self-love, my new heart tights are my favorite. I might be wearing them a lot in the near future to remind myself to love, love, and love some more! 

Three Years

Yesterday marked three years of marriage for me and Brian. I'd be lying if I said it's been the easiest three years of my life. Marriage is hard. Some days I wonder what in the world I signed up for.

The past year has been so good for me. I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of this marriage thing. For a long time, I thought I needed to fit a certain mold of what a wife was. Then I immediately realized I could never fit that mold, which made me feel like a failure. I spent months at a time questioning if I could ever be a good wife, if maybe marriage just wasn't a thing that worked with the way my personality is wired.

I've realized I was feeding myself a whole lot of garbage. There is no mold I have to fit to be a good wife, daughter, or sister. Healthy relationships last when both people give and contribute. I'm going to give and show love differently than the next person, and that's okay.

There is nothing wrong with seeking the marriage advice of others or reading marriage books. However, I believe every relationship is unique. You know what's best for you. The most important thing is not to turn to another person or a book but to turn to your spouse. And don't you ever dare let yourself feel guilty for the way you convey love. There is no one right way to love someone.

I love Brian. I'm so thankful we chose to go on this journey hand-in-hand. I can't wait to see what the next year brings!

Last night we had a delicious Italian dinner at Le Nonne and then hot-tubbed in the rain. About a month ago, Brian also told me he was taking me on a surprise vacation. Yesterday I finally convinced him to tell me. Throughout the day he sent me photos of our hotel, beaches, rain forests, and then he wrapped it all up with a picture of baby sloths. We're going to COSTA RICA! I can't wait. Doesn't that sound like the perfect anniversary? Wait, it took a turn for the worse.

This morning my body decided it hates me so I threw up a bunch of times. All day Brian has been taking care of me in between work and everything else. Just a reminder of what a good man I snagged. In sickness and in health, right?  

P.S. I got Brian the best card ever.

The inside says, "You have (most of) my heart." 

A New Endeavor

I think it's pretty evident by this point that I've lost interest in blogging. I've always felt a little weird doing it anyway. Whenever someone brings up my blog, I just don't even know how to talk about it. The conversation typically goes like this:

"I like your blog."

"Oh, you're nice . . ."

Then I change the subject.

I don't know. I've just never felt like a blogger. At one point, I remember thinking, "There are tons of girls who make their blog a business. I could do that."

But then that moment quickly went away because I know I don't want that. I love sharing bits and pieces of my life and thoughts with you, but some bits and pieces are only meant for me. I'm a big, selfish meanie. Also, I have this very deep rooted fear of being unauthentic. Now I'll be the first to tell you that I'm a lot of terrible things. I'm a slob. I get jealous. Sometimes I watch R-rated movies. I love to use the word "bastard", although I'd never say it in front of my mother.

But one thing I feel I'm very good at is being authentic. I don't want to lose that by trying to be something I'm not so I can gain more "followers".

This isn't me saying that I'm ending the life of "A Little Bird Told Me". But this is me saying that I probably won't post so often. You see, I don't have much free time. Especially since I'm pouring my extra time and energy into a NEW WEBSITE!

I would absolutely love your support for this new endeavor of mine. I've started up a website called Sharing Shine. Sharing Shine is dedicated to connecting, inspiring, and celebrating women of ALL ages. We will share incredible stories of women who live right in our communities. There are also sections dedicated to women's health, DIY projects, food, and much more. It's kind of like an online women's magazine, only that it's for all of us regardless of age, background, or beliefs. Too often I think we see women tearing other women down. Sharing Shine is all about women helping other women.

We just launched the site this week . . . and the work has already been quite overwhelming. I feel like I've just started another full-time job on top of my real full-time job. I've been living in my office at my computer. My TMJ is getting so serious that I'm wearing my mouth guard right now as to stop myself from turning my teeth into tooth fairy dust. But despite the stress . . . it's also been SO rewarding. The support we've already received is humbling and sometimes I sporadically feel like I'm going to cry and laugh all at once. So as weird and corny as it is, I love you. If you're reading this and you've supported us in any way, whether you've followed us on social media, shared an article, whatever . . . I love you. Thank you for supporting this dream of mine. It feels good to use my journalism degree to write things I'm passionate about. I've always wanted to do something for women and I think this might be my little golden nugget.

We have a lot of great things planned for Sharing Shine. This is my invitation to you to follow along ;).  

Sharing Shine Facebook

Sharing Shine Twitter

Sharing Shine Pinterest

Sharing Shine Instagram

Thunder Thighs: Fighting the Thigh Gap

I have a weird body. I am not being negative about myself here, just being honest. While I've always been thin, maybe even scrawny, I also have broad shoulders and very athletically built legs. I’m the girl who has the constant battle of finding pants that fit since I have narrow hips with no waist, yet I have thick thighs and calves. I’m the girl who finds a shirt that fits my flat chest perfectly, but then I have the battle of taking it off without ripping the seams as I try to tear it past my hulkish shoulders.

And I realize from that description, maybe it sounds like I do not like my body but that is false. Every girl fights body image issues, it’s a sad truth. However, I think I've suffered with my body image issues less than many girls. What it comes down to is that I have a healthy and strong body. That is what is most important to me. I feel beautiful in my body because my body is capable of doing amazing things. Through eating right and staying active, I appreciate my body as a whole more and pick it apart less.

We live in a world that constantly tells us we are not good enough. You aren't curvy enough. You aren't skinny enough. Your hair is too thin. Your hair is too thick. You are too fair. You are too dark. How does a girl ever expect to win? One of the latest unhealthy trends enforced upon women is something known as the thigh gap.

I came across this very well-done article by the ladies at Beauty Redefined which addressed the epidemic of the thigh gap. When I read this article, I had no clue what a thigh gap even was, but it sounded bad. I looked into it more and discovered it’s when a girl stands with her feet together, and a small gap (or for some, a very wide one) appears between her upper thighs. I read on a blog post while searching for thigh gap information (which I refuse to even link the post because the writer is an idiot) that, “a woman with beautiful legs has three diamonds.” This means when standing with the feet together, a gap supposedly should appear from the ankles to knees, the knees to the thighs, and (the thigh gap part) the upper thighs to the crotch.

I then decided to muster up the courage to do a Google image search for “thigh gap”. I wouldn't suggest it if you get offended easily. What I found were pictures of girls and women who were entirely too thin, flaunting their frail looking legs and wide thigh gaps.

 Nothing about it looked sexy to me. Actually, it was quite disturbing. Some of the pictures were comparable to young women I visited in a hospital back when I went to Ethiopia years ago. These were girls, in a hospital, waiting to die. They were disease-stricken with the AIDS virus and malnourished. It was honestly one of the most terrifying and emotional experiences of my life, weaving in and out of those hospital beds in this foreign country, trying to comfort girls my same age who could not even find the strength to lift their own heads. This is what the “desirable” thigh gap reminded me of: sick and dying girls.

    

I was totally perplexed by reading up on this. A thigh gap? This is a real thing? Since when was it attractive to have chicken legs? Since when was it a trend to look malnourished? Then I wondered, “Do I have a thigh gap? I don’t think I have a thigh gap. Maybe a tiny one?”

Now guys, I am a thin person. I am the poor child who never felt loved because I was kicked off anyone and everyone’s laps for having a “bony butt” that was “hurting their leg”. But apparently this bony butt has more meat on it than anyone thought.

I went to the full body mirror in my room and stood with my feet touching. When I made sure I was standing in the correct position, I looked up at my reflection. I had absolutely no thigh gap, none whatsoever. My right thunder thigh pressed firmly against my left thunder thigh.

If you were to ask me what my favorite physical feature about myself is, I would probably say my legs. I have always loved having strong and athletic legs. It’s something I take pride in. So while the thigh gap people preach against any kind of exercise that builds leg muscle, I often focus on building leg muscle. Many of my workouts are filled with squats, calf raises, lunges, wall sits, and hill/stadium runs. I want toned legs, not sticks for legs. I want bulging thighs that reveal no sign of a thigh gap. I want legs that can carry me up steep mountains, sprint across finish lines of races, and jump high on trampolines. I have a feeling a thigh gap aint gonna do any of that for me.

Now if you have a thigh gap naturally, I am not bagging on you at all. Don’t think I’m saying you are an unhealthy, gross person. The problem comes when girls and women go to extreme circumstances trying to achieve a thigh gap. Women are starving themselves, tearing themselves down, and doing harmful things to their bodies to try and develop a thigh gap. From what I've read, a thigh gap is actually not achievable for many body types, like my own.

A thigh gap actually has more to do with bone structure than muscle or fat. Women who have wide set hips are more likely to have a thigh gap. Women with narrow hips (like me) will find it very difficult, if not impossible, to have a thigh gap. So that’s that. Good luck changing your bones.

I am speaking out against the thigh gap epidemic. If we all speak out as individuals, we can possibly create change. So, please, will you do the same? Speak out when you see a Photo-shopped image, where it’s obvious they manipulated the image to make the woman have a thigh gap. Refuse to shop at stores where their models portray this unhealthy body image.

a photo-shopped image to give Beyonce a thigh gap 

 Most importantly, love yourself. As women, we must accept our bodies and realize their beauty. Don’t pick yourself apart. Don’t go to unhealthy measures to reach an unattainable body type. Don’t beat yourself up. Next time you look in the mirror, think of all the things you see in yourself that you love, ignore the rest. Eat healthy, exercise, love your body, and think of all the things you are capable of. Your body is the home of your sweet soul. Don’t stop at loving yourself, love your fellow women. Tell others they look beautiful. Spread the compliments. Our thoughts and words can be powerful.

Now I’m going to go flaunt my thunder thighs. Anyone want to Indian leg wrestle?  

Remembering Eleanor

When it came time to register for classes for spring semester, I didn't know what I was doing. I only needed to take two more classes. However, people apparently think I need to be a full time student to keep my scholarship and financial aid, thus I began searching the school website for random classes that would make my total credit hours sum up to a total of twelve. My two thoughts while searching for these random classes were 1) sign up for fun and interesting classes, and 2) sign up for classes that will be an easy A. 

So I signed up for billiards because I had always wanted to take it. Then I signed up for intro to religious studies because I heard it was easy and engaging. Then I signed up for social deviance because I am apparently obsessed with criminal behavior and the professor teaching it is one of my favorites. Then I signed up for some English class because English comes to me easier than most subjects. 

But weeks later, flurries of emails made it to my inbox alerting me that I couldn't take that English class because it was only for English majors. They demanded I drop it or they would drop me instead, and while I was made out to be the criminal, I was just wondering why the heck they gave me the go to register for it in the first place. Not my fault. When I pushed that register button, why in the world didn't red lights flash and words come across my screen saying, BOO, SUCKER! YOU AREN'T AN ENGLISH MAJOR! DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS! 

So I obeyed the English masters and dropped the class. Then I worriedly and anxiously searched for another class that could give me my full time student status. All the somewhat easy classes were full and had long waiting lists. I started to panic. Then I cursed the law makers of University rules because all I really wanted was to take another journalism class, but apparently my JCOM classes are maxed out. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. Limit me from learning more about my trade. Ugh.

Then I found a women & leadership class that was only once a week. And I thought to myself, "Hmm, once a week. It can't be too hard. What the heck. Let's light things on fire, twirl our panties around, and bash on men." So I signed up for it.

Now it turns out, I think I was meant to take this class all along. It is nothing like I thought it would be. I am not just sliding by, wanting a grade. It's something I've discovered I am passionate about. And we don't sit in class on Wednesday evenings and act like we are picked on because we are females. We discuss things that are empowering. We talk about problems and how to overcome them. We learn leadership skills and how to use the fact that we are women to our advantage. We talk about how we can better support and embrace the women around us. Turns out, I love this stuff. It's made me take a step back and look into my soul, and then made me take a step forward and look into the souls of my fellow-women.

In class, we recently took a silencing the self test and it turns out, I silence myself a lot more than I thought I did. Sure, I have strong opinions on subjects. And sure, I probably blog about things that make people roll their eyes and shake their heads. But the thing is, I have a bad habit of closing off my innermost feelings. And when I want to express how I feel, I stop myself out of the fear of hurting someone's feelings. I do like this about myself; that I am sentimental toward others. However, I do an unhealthy amount of it. I always worry about others' feelings at the expense of my own. So I am working on it. I am trying to say and do what I feel is best, even if it means I might be judged for it. And on the other hand, I am trying to do a better job of not doing the judging myself. It's quite interesting because the men actually don't hold women back as much as we may think. We as women do the holding back. We hold ourselves back and if we aren't holding ourselves back, we justify belittling and holding back other women.

Because of this class, wheels are turning in my head and ideas are forming. I want to help women come together to celebrate this beautiful thing we have in common, this thing we call womanhood. I don't know how I want to do that, but I know I already have strengthened a part of myself because of this class. I am learning more and more every day how special it is to be a woman and that God loves me and knows I am capable. 

Around the same time we took the silencing the self test, we also watched a PBS documentary on Eleanor Roosevelt. Watch it if you get the chance. No matter your political opinions, you can't deny the fact that Eleanor Roosevelt was an incredible lady. Her life was actually quite dark and depressing. She was shy. But she learned how to speak and instill hope and happiness into others, and I think that's just grand. So if Eleanor did it, then I can too. And so can you, and you, and you! 

Sunday Best: Battle of the Sweats

cardigan: Violet Hill Boutique, dress: Dillard's, tights: Kohl's shoes: Kohl's, necklace: Smith's, earrings: Forever 21

With all this cold air and inversion, it can be a constant battle to get dressed in the mornings. my alarm goes off and instead of being excited to delve into my closet for an outfit, I think, "I just want to stay in my bed. I just want to wear my baggy man sweats." But every day, I fight off the evil and lazy temptation to wear sweats and put on real clothes. 

My freshman year of college, I went through a dark period. You know, where I was feeling lost and insignificant. And every day, I wore sweats and a hoody to class. I made up excuses that my lack of dressing up was due to being on the track team. "I have practice later," I would say, "it makes more sense to just already be dressed for practice." But that was all dirty lies, I tell you. The truth was, I wanted to hide. So I hid in those comfy and boxy sweats and trudged around to class, hoping I went unnoticed.

I never want to have that feeling again, the feeling of wanting to go unnoticed. So when it seems easy to put on sweats, I remind myself I am better than that and I put on something cute. Even on days when I don't feel cute. 

So even though I'm experiencing a bit of the winter blues and my skin is so dry that it seems to constantly flake off my face (I am disgusting, I know) I still tried to dress my best for church today. This outfit above was the result. So for a few blessed hours, I felt like a lady. A lady with a dry face, but a lady nonetheless. A lady with a demand to be noticed. 

And then when we got home, I put the sweats on and consumed leftover Winger's sticky fingers and fries. Sue me. 

Sunday Best: Caging the Beast

I'm breaking out like I'm thirteen again and for the past week I've felt as if all my clothes fit me awkwardly. I've  been tempted once or twice to drop out of school and just move to a beach in some foreign country and sell t-shirts with funny sayings on them. And I'd let my hair grow out and never comb it so I would end up with some wicked dreds and life would just be oh so chill. But then I remember that education is important. . .yadda yadda yadda. . .I want my degree. . .blah blah blah.

I really do enjoy school. I love learning new things. It's exhilarating. I just hate how much it consumes my life sometimes. And I just want to have a free schedule where I don't have to meet a deadline or stress about getting a project done. You see, I have this perfectionist living within me, usually I keep her caged up, but every now and again she escapes and makes my life treacherous. And I go crazy and just want to kill her so I can enjoy life. Because life should be enjoyed.

So on Saturday, I compromised a bit, I worked on homework during the day and by night, I partied it up a bit. We went with one of our favorite couples, Drew and Megan, to dinner and a movie. Then we even indulged in a shake after. And I wore an outfit that made me feel so free and fine, and the makeup on my face even seemed to cover up my zitty face a bit. Life was good.

shoes: Target, floral print skinnies: Forever 21, top: Dillard's, feather earrings: Claire's, 

I plan on doing the same thing tomorrow with my day off. Catch up on work and then play a little later in the day. Maybe think of some way to honor all my US Presidents. We'll see if I can stay focused, and we'll also see how long I can keep the perfectionist beast on her leash.

I love you readers out there. Enjoy life for me, will ya? Besides cute outfits, I recommend: yoga, bubble baths, cuddling, running, laughing, petting puppies, and drinking chocolate milk.

Weekend Escape

I am no quitter, but occasionally I will run away from my problems. But only for a little while. And then I come back to reality. A few weekends ago, just before the snow started flying, Brian and I ran away for the weekend. We stayed in his parents' cabin and I think it's just what we both needed. School had just about done us in that week. We both had several tests to take and assignments to hand in. I basically felt like I was crawling on my hands and knees by the time Friday rolled around. So we packed a small bag and ran away to the mountains. We ate a glorious dinner, played card games, watched movies, snuggled, and munched on Toblerone chocolate. And we didn't think about school, work, or any of our responsibilities not once.

It was just what the doctor ordered. Because when Monday came along, I was ready to put on my game face  once again.

I believe in taking breaks from responsibility. It's important. So all you hard workers out there, remember to take a break and relax. Let your hair down and find some 'you' time. It's perfectly perfect to run away once in a while. As long as you always come back.

Proof

Remember this post?


Well, just in case you didn't believe me and thought I was a big fat fibber about my promise, I have proof.

What is Smart?

In my sociology class, we were asked to make a list off the top of our heads of ten things describing ourselves.

I started my list out with:

1. I am creative

That was followed by:

2. I am hilarious

I then really wanted to write down

I am smart. . .

But I couldn't do it.

I continued to write down qualities describing myself. They were all nice qualities which I like very much. However, my fingers kept on itching to write down that I am smart.

Finally, I caved and put down "I am smart" at the end of my list.

Our professor then asked us if we had a significant other to have them make a list for us, to see how others saw us.

So I had Brian make a list.

After he created it, I grabbed it and nervously looked to see what ten things he had put down.

I smiled and felt my cheeks flush. . .

1. You are smart

I struggle a large amount of the time with really believing I am smart. I want to believe it, and sometimes I try to believe it. . .but I don't always believe it.

I want people to look at me and see an intelligent person.

However, I am not the best test taker in the world. Tests are a big part of earning grades while at college. I really believe I am an 'A' student. I know I am that smart. However, I don't always get 'A' grades. I probably have more 'B' grades than 'A's. I will study hard for a test, and then choke and miss problems that I understood the concept to. It is very frustrating to me. What is even more frustrating is when I see people around me that maybe have a better GPA than me. I automatically label them as smarter than me and label myself as stupid. I am not being fair to myself.

Do grades really say how smart a person is? I would like to believe not. I sure hope the guy that guessed better at filling out the bubbles isn't smarter than me, the girl that knew but psyched herself out. Plus, isn't it more important to apply what I learn rather than be able to test well on it? When I have a job, they aren't going to test me every week. They will expect me to present good, solid work every week. I can do that. I am very capable.

Brian and I have started reading a book together (yes, sometimes we act like an old married couple). It is a very special book. It is called "The Secret". We read chapter one and we have both been inspired by what we read. It is all about the secret to life, which is: YOU control what happens in your own life. Whatever you want, will come, if you really have the right mindset and never question your abilities.

The first chapter dwelled a lot on thinking positive thoughts. Always positive thoughts.

For example, if you are worried about being late for something, do not think over and over again,

"I cannot be late."

The universe only understands positive. . .so hearing I cannot be late means you WILL be late.

Instead you should think,

"I will be ten minutes early."

I know it sounds a little silly, but I completely believe it.

With tests, I have a hard time completely blocking out thoughts like,

"I don't know if I'll do well."

"I hope I pass."

"I don't want to get below a B."

These all have a negative feel to them.

I should say things like,

"I am going to ace this."

"I know all the information needed to get an A."

"I am going to think clearly and answer all the questions correctly."

See the difference?

Brian and I decided after reading chapter one of our book that we wanted to make lists. We both made a list with around five things we want to instill into our minds. Then the deal was, to hang our list somewhere we will look at it often. I decided to put mine on my closet door. I will see it right when I wake up and right before I go to sleep.

We'll see if it works. I can't wait to read chapter two!

I AM SMART.

I will tell myself until I believe it.

Photos from Flickr and Photobucket

There's No "I" in "Team"

Growing up, I remember being told when playing sports,

"There's no 'I' in team."

They didn't just tell me that. Everyone got told that. Although it's quite possible that I was a little bit of a ball hog in my younger days. But that's besides the point. What I want to state is,

Of course there is not an "I" in the word team.

Thanks, Captain Obvious.

If we tried putting the letter "I" in the word "team" it would be spelled goofy and everyone would pronounce it wrong.

However, I get the point. They wanted to think up some cutesy way to tell people to get off their high horse and realize that you can't accomplish much of anything if you're not all working together. So correct, there is really no "I" in team.

But guess what word does have an "I" in it?

Ok, many words have "I"s in them, but the certain word I'm thinking of is

f r I e n d .


I've been thinking lately, and through my thinking I've came to the conclusion that to be a really grand friend, the first person you have to befriend is YOURSELF.

Think about it. . .

How can you be amused with another person if you can't keep yourself amused?


How can you laugh with another person if you can't laugh when you're by yourself?


How can you trust another person if you don't trust yourself?


How can you like another person if you don't like yourself?


How can you enjoy life with other people if you can't enjoy YOUR life?


I am beginning to feel like one of the very most important friendships to form before forming others, is that friendship with yourself. I am beginning to realize just how many people have crappy self esteem. And none of these people should. They should realize they're great!

So go look at yourself in the mirror and say,

"I am soooooooo awesome!!! I would love to be friends with me!"

If you are a little nervous or do not know how, here is an example for you to follow:

Seriously. Is she cute, or what?

I feel very blessed to say that I am happy with myself. I know I am not perfect, and I have many improvements to make. But they are only improvements. . .I wish to change nothing. I really am best friends with myself. I know that sounds silly, but it feels neat.

You wanna know why?

If there is something I feel like doing, but cannot find anyone to do it with, I just go do it by myself. I am perfectly happy that way too. Sure, I would love to have friends with me. But I don't need them to do everything with me to enjoy my day.

Give it a try. Go feed ducks with yourself. Go on a walk and enjoy the pretty fall leaves with yourself. Go grab a bite to eat out on the town with yourself. It really is fun to try! And once you do it, you'll realize that you have the very best friend you could ever ask for right with you all the time! Not only that, but I am a believer that as soon as you can be a good friend to yourself, you'll realize you can be an even better friend to others.

Always remember when spelling words, there is no "I" in team. There IS an "I" in friend. Realize how special you are. Be a friend to yourself. Then you can realize how special those around you are too!