Current Events

Current mood: Restless. It might be the change in the weather, and now I'm just wanting summer and to be outside always. It might be the fact that I know I'm going on vacation in a month. I don't know what exactly it is . . . but I'm feeling restless to the point of losing my mind.

Current project: Brian and I made a headboard for our bed over the weekend. Fine, Brian made the headboard and I told him what I wanted it to look like. That husband is mega talented. I love that I get to benefit from his skills. I'm so in love with our bedroom. I'm actually excited to make the bed and put laundry away nowadays because the room just looks so darn good when it's clean. It's crazy how putting forth a little effort on something can change your perspective. I kind of hated our bedroom before. Now, after a couple Saturdays of projects, it's my favorite room in our bungalow.

The headboard has lights behind it too. Here's a photo to show that off . . . but just know it's much cooler in person.

Currently craving: Chick-fil-A!! I wanted those nuggets and that Polynesian sauce very badly for lunch today. But I resisted and had a hard boiled egg instead. Still can't get those waffle fries and a Cherry Coke off my mind though. Why does all the good tasting food have to be so bad for you?

Currently reading: Flygirl by Sherri L Smith. I bought this book on a total whim. It was used (but still in stellar condition) and only cost $3. It's truly a treasure and one I'm glad to have on my bookshelf. I have an obsession with books set around WWII time. The story follows a black girl who passes for white so she can join the WASP organization. It's absolutely crazy to me that people were and still are treated differently because of skin color. This book has also made me extra grateful for the women who came before me who were brave enough to follow their dreams (in a time when it wasn't so popular for women to do so).

Currently watching: I don't watch much television. Yesterday I made the mistake of turning it on when I got home from work, only to discover a marathon of America's Next Top Model was on. I immediately got sucked in and watched three episodes. I cleaned my kitchen during commercial breaks so it aint all bad.

Current tunes: I've been on a late 90s/early 2000s kick. Third Eye Blind radio on Pandora has been my jam lately. Like the rest of the world, I'm also obsessed with Uptown Funk.

Currently looking forward to: Our big vacation to THAILAND!! I cannot wait to kiss an elephant. Not looking forward to that looooong flight though. Hopefully I'll get some reading and writing done.

Currently wearing: Combat boots, grey jeans, grey shirt, and a maroon button-up . . . complete with a baseball cap. I'm real classy casual today.

Currently eating: I've been eating yogurt with granola mixed in every morning like it's my job. Freaking delicious.

Currently loving: My new hair for spring, courtesy of my lovely cousin, Megan. She did such a rocking job. I'm obsessed. I'm also loving this spring weather. Going outside and hearing birds chirping makes my heart so happy. They've been eating out of our bird feeder like mad lately. It's fine, I'm just sort of a crazy bird woman.

Currently wanting: A bengal cat. Google them and you'll want one too.

Currently missing: My little bro. I'm ready for him to come home from his mission already. I know he's doing great and important work, but I'm just getting antsy to hug him, argue with him, and laugh with him again. It's going to be awesome having him in Logan with me this fall.

Currently avoiding: Cleaning my office. It's bad, guys.

Currently trying: To go to bed earlier (so I can get my butt out of bed earlier), to drink more water, and to communicate more with the Man Upstairs.

Sunday Best: Light and Airy

top: Maurices, skirt: F21, boots: Kmart, jacket: Gap

One of my favorite summer outfits is a fun t-shirt paired with a light skirt. I live in skirts during the summer. You see, I'm just not a big fan of Mormon-length shorts. Many people can pull them off but I don't believe I'm one of those people. So I can either choose to sweat it out in pants, or wear a skirt and just be careful to keep my knees together while sitting down. I usually choose the latter. 

Also, may I just add that I love this whole arrow trend? Arrows are cute. Unless they are being used for their true purpose and being immersed in the flesh of a living thing, then they suddenly become less cute. 

I wore this outfit on Thursday. After work, I went with my mom and sisters to "The Fault In Our Stars" and then we did a little shopping after. As expected, I sobbed violently through numerous scenes in the movie. 

Walking out of the theater, I had to question why we as people do this to ourselves, subject ourselves to totally depressing literature and movies. Yet I do it all the time. The very best pieces of work (in my opinion) are the ones where everything doesn't end perfectly, where all the messes aren't completely cleaned up. I mean, take a look at Les Mis. It's pure genius, but really, why do we love it? Every single character seems to be wallowing in misery but we still eat it up. It's perfectly imperfect. Perfectly imperfect pieces of work are my favorite. I think because creating something that is so perfectly imperfect is the very most challenging thing. It's easy to create something where the hero wins and everyone rides off into the sunset living happily ever after. It's also easy to create something that is so depressing and awful that no one wants to touch it. The true difficulty lies in creating something that makes a person sad and happy all at the same time, it needs to have the right amount of tragedy in it to make it beautiful. 

And with that being said, I'm still upset that Harry Potter didn't die in the end. 

Well, I think I'll end before I go off on any other random interjections that make little to no sense. But I loved this outfit. I loved last Thursday. I loved spending time with my mom and sisters. They really are some of my favorite people.   

Lost Blossoms

Last week, our apple tree was clad in blossoms of pink and white. In just a matter of days, the petals tore free from the branches and were whisked away in the wind. Where dainty blossoms hung, there are now fresh leaves, green with life.

I've loved this first year of owning a home. With every change of the season, it feels like we've just moved in again. Everything feels, smells and looks new. 

I am a creature of change. At the end of each season, I find myself craving the next one. I change my hair every few months. I don't like being in the same place for too long. 

But the last few weeks, I've resented my friend, Change. I've just wanted to ask Change if he can slow down for me. Just for a minute.

My five year high school reunion is coming up. As I was fitting it into my calendar last night, I started thinking about all the people I love who I've lost touch with, and that's in only five years. I hate change for that reason. I hate that change sometimes forces people apart . . . tears them in different directions. 

I hate seeing my little sisters grow up. 

I hate seeing my parents get older. 

I hate seeing my grandparents get older. 

I hate seeing my friends move away. 

I hate that I can't eat a whole sleeve of Oreos anymore and still feel fine with myself after. 

That is a lot of hate flowing around, but I know it's just a moment of mourning and then it will flee. Even though change can be hard, there is a certain beauty in seeing time pass. There is a certain beauty in seeing people move on, in seeing people age and mature . . . but on certain days it's just more difficult to accept that beauty. 

I like this stage of life that I am in, and I'm just fearful that Change will play a joke on me and make it all disappear. 

A few nights ago, I finished the book "The Fault In Our Stars" while laying in bed, and I guess everything I'd been feeling just came crashing down on my shoulders. I quickly turned out the light before Brian could see I was crying. Then I clung my arms around his torso, because I just needed to feel his presence there beside me. He turned and asked me if I was crying. I whimpered a quiet yes. 

"Why are you crying?" 

"My book was just so sad." 

A moment of silence passed. 

"I don't want people to die."

"Who is going to die," Brian asked. 

"Everyone. We are all going to die."

And even though that was a very morbid ending to our night, I do know there is also a certain beauty in death. It's part of the journey. But just because it's beautiful and essential doesn't mean that I'm still not afraid of it. 

Now I'll end this slightly pathetic post with a quote from "The Fault In Our Stars".

"What a slut time is. She screws everybody." 

 

Truth Tuesday

• I get way too invested in whatever book I'm currently reading. I read a book a few years ago called "The Beast in the Garden". It's a true story about how mountain lions started attacking people in a town in Colorado. I almost gave up my love for hiking. But I couldn't do that, so now I just make sure that we always carry a gun while exploring mountains. I recently finished "The Fault In Our Stars". Now I'm really paranoid that I'm going to have cancer . . . or that someone I love is going to get cancer. I need to take a chill pill. 

• I have a new obsession with purple lipstick. 

• I have a goal to sleep outside for a consecutive week this summer. 

• Every time I go trail running or just take Munch for a walk up the canyon, I see mountain bikers speeding past me and then I get really jealous because . . . I hate riding bikes . . . but I want myself to like it so badly. It always looks like a blast. But then anytime I get on a bike, it's just treacherous. I don't think my butt was built for sitting on those awfully uncomfortable bike seats.

• I secretly get happy anytime Justin Bieber's "Baby" comes on the radio. Shhhh, don't tell.

• This morning, I asked Brian if he ever gets sad that the 80s are over. He answered that since he didn't live for much of the 80s that no, he was okay with it, but he did get sad the 90s were over. I didn't ever live in the 80s (I was a 1990 baby) but I still miss them like I lived them. I mean, I have the perfect hair for the decade . . .   

Throwin' it back to the 80s dance my freshman year at USU. Big hair: check. Leopard pants: check. Shoulder pads: check.

Little Bird Book Review: And Then There Were None

A-

Since the beginning of this blog's life, I've always had what book I'm currently reading on the sidebar. Sometimes it's there for months and months . . . other times only a few days . . . before I change it out for a new read. I've always been a huge fan of reading. When I was just little (first and second grade) I began reading Shakespeare and Greek Mythology. I started out as an only child (I'm the oldest). Once I learned how to read, I found that I didn't have to play by myself when turning through the pages of a book. The characters in the stories I read became my friends.

I've toyed with the idea of doing book reviews on A Little Bird Told Me for a while now. And finally the other day, I was like, "What the heck. I'm doing it." So hopefully there will be a bookworm or two out there who can enjoy these posts. Otherwise, I'll just do them for myself. After all, this is my blog and I'm greedy.

I recently read And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie and I finished it in two days. I should also add, I'm a very slow reader. I'm the type that has to stop after every sentence so I can imagine what's going on. I couldn't get enough of this book. It doesn't help my case since I'm a total murder mystery junkie and Agatha Christie is said to be the "Queen of Mystery".

The story begins with 10 mysterious characters receiving invitations to the same island. Some are invited to the island for vacation, others for employment. Once all the characters arrive, they soon find out that their trip to the island is not what they originally signed up for. One by one, each character ends up dead. While the characters are trapped on the island, awaiting their fate, they must try to discover who the killer is. 

I couldn't put this book down. Not only are the characters within trying to figure out who the murderer is, I was doing so as the reader. It seemed like each time I'd figured it out, the character I was suspicious of would die next. The book caught me by surprise and had (what I thought to be) a very unexpected ending.

I do wish there had been a bit more character development. I understand that Christie doesn't want to reveal too much about any of the victims, in order to keep the killer a secret. However, I didn't even have an idea of what any of the characters looked like. How old were they? What color of hair did they have? I am the type of reader that needs descriptions. Names alone do not work for me. The first portion of the book, I had to keep turning back to remember which character was which. For this reason, I gave it an A- instead of a solid A.  

It's an easy read with less than 300 pages. Pick it up and give it a read. Just make sure you're not home alone . . .    

Truth Tuesday

• Today is National Cat Day, so I feel the need to give a shout out to the greatest feline that ever lived . . . Luna. I know I can be obsessive about my cat and it's a little lot ridiculous, but if you met Luna then you would understand. She's my little fur ball friend. She cuddles me when I'm sad, brings her toys to me when she wants to play fetch, and she loves going on car rides and sticking her head out the window. She's the best. 

• BWell and I watched "Matilda" last night. I forgot how epic that movie was. It came out when I was about six or so and I remember watching it all the time. I even went through a period of time where I was determined to be Matilda. When I got bored at school, I would put my pencil on my desk, focus really hard, and try to move the pencil with my eyes. In case you're wondering, I never developed my magical powers. Perhaps one day.

• Speaking of "Matilda", can I just say that Roald Dahl was a genius? Matilda, James and the Giant Peach, The BFG, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Twits, The Witches . . . all some of my childhood favorites. That guy had one creative mind. 

• It always bothers me when people constantly complain about the weather. Yes, you live in Utah. Yes, it's going to snow. Get over it or move to Arizona. 

• I love smooth yogurt but if it has chunks of fruit in it, it makes me gag. 

• Also, in honor of National Cat Day, my new favorite commercial.   

• I wish I could have 10 Halloween costumes. 

• I have an addiction. I want to buy so many cute throw pillows that I can't even see my couches or bed underneath them. 

• My brother is doing just swell on his mission. He sent me an email saying there is a girl in the ward who reminds him of me. Now I want to ask him if he has a crush on her just to make things awkward. 

• I think Arctic Circle's sweet potato fries are my new comfort food. 

• A kid on the school bus punched my little sister in the mouth and I feel the need to hunt him down and steal his lunch money.

XO Kels

Mind Exercise

I read a quote about reading. It goes like this: 

"Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body." -Joseph Addison 

If you read my post about setting my goals for 2013, then you know that one of my main goals is to read a book a month. Well, my "Book-A-Month Challenge" is now the real deal. I assigned each month a book I've been itching to read. 

Now that each month has a book to match it, I'm really extra excited to start working on this adventure. A few of these books are ones I've made friends with before. I read The Great Gatsby and Les Miserables in high school (I was wild about them both). And Little Women and Where the Red Fern Grows were two of my favorites in grade school. Hopefully I can even get ahead of my schedule and read some other books as well. Some of those others I hope to get to are the Delirium series, The Lovely Bones, and A Tale of Two Cities. I'm sure I will squeeze in something by Mary Higgins Clark as well, because I can never resist her. If I get ahead of my schedule, then I will simply move on to the next book in line. Here it goes. I am thrilled to get my mind toned and in shape. Join me if it suits your fancy.

New Beginnings

My first kiss of 2013 and the famous Keller firework show put on by my dad and brother

I've never been one who is huge on New Year's resolutions. The new year is symbolic of new beginnings. I get that. It's cute and all, but I feel like you can start your own new beginning on any day of any given year.

My other issue with New Year's resolutions is that people rarely keep them. I applaud you if you are a person who does stick to your resolutions. I think that is absolutely awesome. I just think people get in this wrong mindset. Like, "I'm going to lose x amount of weight and have a totally ripped bod even though I haven't worked out in five years." We all know what happens. The gym is a living nightmare packed with people for the first two weeks of January, and then it slims down to the regulars again. Sad, but true. Why not set realistic goals? Why not break the big goal of the year down into little parts? For example, decide you'll go to the gym three days a week for the month of January. Then maybe bump it up to four. Sign up for a race and train for it.

It's kind of like marriage. You don't just marry a person and think, "Okay, now we are going to live happily ever after." That's right, Snow White and Cinderella were full of crap. I know, I'm disappointed too. But you have to work at marriage, just like you have to work at anything that reaps something good. Life isn't perfect. Life is messy. The thing with messes is that they are a lot easier to clean up when the mess is little, before it turns into a giant mess.

That's why I decided for my 2013 resolutions, I'm going to really break things down. I want to break things down to the month and even to the week.

So I bought myself a notepad, and every Sunday I want to try writing down five simple goals to accomplish that week. For this week I wrote down: 1) Make the bed every morning 2) Try a new recipe 3) Make art 4) Pleasure read for half an hour every day 5) Make out with Brian. Brian wrote the last one because I was having a hard time thinking of a fifth one. These weekly goals will usually be very simple things, but I feel like it will be a good way to make a habit of accomplishing things. I am excited to see if it works.

Another goal I've made for 2013 is to read a (fun) book every month. I know that probably isn't that hard for a lot of people. Many people read several books in just one month. But sometimes I get so consumed with other things that I forget to pleasure read. And when I do have time to pleasure read, I feel guilty about it. I think about all the other things I should be doing instead of sitting and reading. I want to get over these feelings of guilt because I believe reading is a very rewarding and important thing. If you know me, you know I am a book worm. I love books, I just want to learn to make time for them again. It seems like ever since I started college, my pleasure reading kicks have come in spurts. I want it to be a naturally occurring thing again. In high school, pleasure reading was like brushing my teeth. Every night I did it before going to bed. I would love to do that again. I hope by having a certain book set for every month that I can make this goal happen.

My big goals for the entire year are to be to church on time, to do scripture study with Brian (we've been pretty awful at this in the past), and to do things that scare me. I know that last one is really broad, but it's meant to be broad. I think it would be ideal to try something that scares me every day. I am not saying I'm going to turn into some dare devil. I'm talking about smaller things. For example, I made myself sign up for a billiards class. I love shooting pool but I've never been that great and I never even knew all the rules. For this reason, I've wanted to take a billiards class for years but have always chickened out. I didn't want to try something that I knew I could possibly be the very worst at in the whole class. However, I decided to sign up for the class and get over my fear of not being good at something. And guess what? I'm pretty sure on the first day I was the worst in the class. But after a few classes, I'm already starting to shoot really well. The instructor taught me how to hold the cue correctly (ha) and he taught me how to start making some difficult shots with a few simple tips. It feels fantastic to know that I am already getting good at something that I've secretly wanted to be good at for years.

So here is to 2013! Here's to breaking down goals to the basics, to reading more, and to trying things that scare me!

Textbooks Creating Smiles

Today marked the first day of my last semester before earning my degree. I generally like school. I like learning about new things. But the thing that hurts is paying for the opportunity to learn. And after paying a good chunk of money for tuition comes the task of purchasing textbooks. A lot of times, I feel like buying textbooks can be a big slap in the face. It's like, "Oh, so you just spent thousands of dollars to go to class? Well, now pay a few hundred more so you can lug these books around."

Well, I discovered a website that actually makes me feel a bit giddy about buying textbooks. That's right, I just used giddy and textbooks in the same sentence. Campus Book Rentals offers a way for students to rent textbooks and save a whole lot of cash. 

By using Campus Book Rentals, you could save 40 to 90 percent on your textbooks. There are flexible renting periods, free shipping both ways, and you can also highlight in the textbooks as if you owned them.
For my Social Deviance class, my textbook through a campus bookstore would cost $111.70. I can rent the same textbook from Campus Book Rentals for $18.39. Here is proof.

Luna and I are both pretty stoked about this situation. If you are stressing about textbooks, I suggest checking out Campus Book Rentals by clicking here. There are also several videos within their site describing how the renting process goes.

 Another reason I am so excited about this company is not just because purchasing textbooks puts a smile on my face, it also puts smiles on the faces of children in need. Campus Book Rentals donates to Operation Smile with every textbook purchased. Operation Smile is an organization that provides cleft lip and cleft palate surgeries for children around the globe. It's a super cool organization, guys.

So there you go, buying textbooks can cause several smiles and save several dollars. It doesn't get much better than that.

Also, I hear it is a bad study habit to do your textbook reading on your bed. So don't do it. Especially if your bed is messy and unmade like mine is. My good mother would be so disappointed in me. 

*This post is sponsored by Campus Book Rentals, but all opinions shared are my own. 

On Imagination

my mountains 

"And you must tell the child the legends I told you--as my mother told them to me and her mother to her. You must tell the fairy tales of the old country. You must tell of those not of the earth who live forever in the hearts of people--fairies, elves, dwarfs, and such. Oh, and you must not forget the Kris Kringle. The child must believe in him until she reaches the age of six."

"Mother, I know there are no ghosts or fairies. I would be teaching the child foolish lies."

Mary spoke sharply. "You do not know whether there are not ghosts on earth or angels in heaven."

"I know there is no Santa Claus."

"Yet you must teach the child that these things are so."

"Why? When I, myself, do not believe?"

Because," explained Mary Rommely simply, "the child must have a valuable thing which is called imagination. The child must have a secret world in which live things that never were. It is necessary that she believe. Then when the world becomes too ugly for living in, the child can reach back and live in her imagination."

   -excerpt from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn 

Hiding Place

I love reading books. I love growing close to the characters, I love delving myself right into the plot line, I love lingering on the beauty of a perfectly worded sentence. But what I love most of all, is when I reach the last page, shut the cover, and realize I've learned something new. Something that may influence me for a lifetime and change the world as I knew it.

I recently finished a book by Corrie Ten Boom called The Hiding Place. It is a book that completely rocked my world and left an impact on me. Corrie Ten Boom lived in Holland during the years of the Holocaust. She and her family devoted their lives to saving Jews. They helped sneak them away to new lives. They even built a secret room in their own home where Jews could come and stay to feel safe.

But this did not at all make the Ten Boom family feel safe. However, they wanted to do what was right and they relied completely on God to take care of them. After a couple years of hiding Jews, an outsider revealed the family to the Germans. Corrie, her sister, and her father were sent to concentration camps.

Her sister and father both die. Corrie roughs horrible conditions, but is eventually released and makes it back home to Holland. But in every awful incident, Corrie manages to find the hand of God. She manages to somehow always find the beauty.

Then she dedicates the rest of her life to the Lord's work. She spends time with other victims of concentration camps, helping them to heal and helping them to forgive.

She forgives. Toward the end of the book, she actually runs into one of the workers from the concentration camp she stayed at and struggles with all her might to shake his hand and put her bitter feelings aside. And she says:

"As I took his hand, the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder, along my arm and through my hand, a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me."

I have always had this great interest for everything related to World War II and the Holocaust. I guess it just boggles my mind that it actually happened. It boggles my mind that a group of people could have so much hate for another group of people. But this book is a testament to me of the love that always can and always will outdo hate.

If Corrie Ten Boom could forgive the very people who took her father and sister from her, I think I can find the room in my heart to be more forgiving. I can sometimes be so selfish, so stubborn, so harsh. Having read this book makes me want to change all of that. I want to be capable of love and forgiveness in any incident, and because of this book I know that is possible. Not easy, but possible.

Even though I revealed way too much of the plot line, still read this book. It's proof that humanity is good.

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss

Source: faveprettythings.blogspot.com via Kelsey on Pinterest

Source: Uploaded by user via Kelsey on Pinterest

Source: quote-book.tumblr.com via Kelsey on Pinterest

                                                                                                                            

Source: connect.in.com via Kelsey on Pinterest

To the man with an imagination bigger than life! I know I'm a day late . . .but I couldn't forget one of my favorite famous people of all time! I haven't been to The Lorax yet, but Brian and I plan on going soon. After I get caught up on school work, that is. 

The Adventures of Dick and Jane

I think it is due time for another funny 'Chloe story'. Perhaps if I write enough of these, I can compile them into a book and give it to her when she grows up to be a young lady. Then she can be embarrassed.

Hopefully this funny story will brighten your Monday. Not that Mondays are all that bad. Poor Monday just has a bad reputation is all. I actually like my Mondays. They are my easiest school day of the week.

My dad was the only witness to this certain story, so I will tell it to the best of my abilities. Also, to some people the story might be a bit crude. Not really though. Plus, you must remember, we are dealing with the innocent mind of an eight year old here.

Chloe was doing her nightly reading as part of her homework. She had gone through her timings and her math, so now she was left to read her book in order to get a parents' initials on her calendar. Mom was not home that evening, so Dad was held responsible to make sure Chlo finished her homework. Dad decided it would be a good idea to have Chloe read her library book out loud to him. So they nestled themselves by the fire to read a book together. How precious. Chloe began to read, without having problems pronouncing any words.

Suddenly, Chloe stopped mid-sentence. Dad was alarmed and wondered if Chloe had came to a difficult word.

"Do you need help," Dad asked.

Chloe's already big eyes had grown even bigger as she peered up at Dad. She slowly shook her head no, that she did not need help.

"Well, what's wrong then? Why don't you keep reading?"

Chloe whispered, as if telling a secret to Dad, "I am not supposed to say that word."

Dad was confused.

"It's a bad word, Dad. I can't say it."

Dad knew this could not be so. There would not be any bad words in a children's book. Sure that Chloe was mistaken, Dad prompted Chloe to tell him what the 'bad word' was.

Chloe's cheeks turned pink and with a guilty face she softly said, "It says Dick."

Dad could not hold back his laughter. He then comforted Chloe by explaining to her that Dick was the boy's name, so in this story it was not bad.

Don't ask me how Chloe knew dick was not a nice word. I'm still trying to figure that one out.

What is Smart?

In my sociology class, we were asked to make a list off the top of our heads of ten things describing ourselves.

I started my list out with:

1. I am creative

That was followed by:

2. I am hilarious

I then really wanted to write down

I am smart. . .

But I couldn't do it.

I continued to write down qualities describing myself. They were all nice qualities which I like very much. However, my fingers kept on itching to write down that I am smart.

Finally, I caved and put down "I am smart" at the end of my list.

Our professor then asked us if we had a significant other to have them make a list for us, to see how others saw us.

So I had Brian make a list.

After he created it, I grabbed it and nervously looked to see what ten things he had put down.

I smiled and felt my cheeks flush. . .

1. You are smart

I struggle a large amount of the time with really believing I am smart. I want to believe it, and sometimes I try to believe it. . .but I don't always believe it.

I want people to look at me and see an intelligent person.

However, I am not the best test taker in the world. Tests are a big part of earning grades while at college. I really believe I am an 'A' student. I know I am that smart. However, I don't always get 'A' grades. I probably have more 'B' grades than 'A's. I will study hard for a test, and then choke and miss problems that I understood the concept to. It is very frustrating to me. What is even more frustrating is when I see people around me that maybe have a better GPA than me. I automatically label them as smarter than me and label myself as stupid. I am not being fair to myself.

Do grades really say how smart a person is? I would like to believe not. I sure hope the guy that guessed better at filling out the bubbles isn't smarter than me, the girl that knew but psyched herself out. Plus, isn't it more important to apply what I learn rather than be able to test well on it? When I have a job, they aren't going to test me every week. They will expect me to present good, solid work every week. I can do that. I am very capable.

Brian and I have started reading a book together (yes, sometimes we act like an old married couple). It is a very special book. It is called "The Secret". We read chapter one and we have both been inspired by what we read. It is all about the secret to life, which is: YOU control what happens in your own life. Whatever you want, will come, if you really have the right mindset and never question your abilities.

The first chapter dwelled a lot on thinking positive thoughts. Always positive thoughts.

For example, if you are worried about being late for something, do not think over and over again,

"I cannot be late."

The universe only understands positive. . .so hearing I cannot be late means you WILL be late.

Instead you should think,

"I will be ten minutes early."

I know it sounds a little silly, but I completely believe it.

With tests, I have a hard time completely blocking out thoughts like,

"I don't know if I'll do well."

"I hope I pass."

"I don't want to get below a B."

These all have a negative feel to them.

I should say things like,

"I am going to ace this."

"I know all the information needed to get an A."

"I am going to think clearly and answer all the questions correctly."

See the difference?

Brian and I decided after reading chapter one of our book that we wanted to make lists. We both made a list with around five things we want to instill into our minds. Then the deal was, to hang our list somewhere we will look at it often. I decided to put mine on my closet door. I will see it right when I wake up and right before I go to sleep.

We'll see if it works. I can't wait to read chapter two!

I AM SMART.

I will tell myself until I believe it.

Photos from Flickr and Photobucket

My Saturday-Sunday With a Cherry On Top.

My waste basket was filling up quickly with toilet paper. Toilet paper from the whole roll that Brian had brought me to wipe tears and snot off my face. My week had been, sad to say, lousy. I had been slightly off all week and I felt overwhelmed with stress, and Friday night was now treating me with a splitting headache.

"I---hate---crying," I gasped through tears. Brian just patted my back and continued to let me cry. I do not cry often for myself like this. It is a rarity. But let's just say when it rains, it pours.

I then decided I just wanted to go to sleep. Brian tucked me in. That is, after him and Shayla had brought me Ben & Jerry's. As Brian shut my door, I called to him from my lump of blankets,

"Brian? Tomorrow when I wake up, will you go on an adventure with me?"

He smiled and answered yes, not to worry, it would be a new day.

Our adventures together are my favorite.

Weekends are also my favorite.

Sometimes. . .weekends are just what a person needs.

They can be healing, like some sort of magical medicine.

They can be a real treat.

They can be a nice break, just enough to catch my breath.

Saturday morning, I woke up and got to work with things that needed to be done. Lesson for church, laundry, some homework. Then noon came, and I was hungry.

So Brian took me to lunch at the cutest Thai place.

I would love to go to Thailand one day, so I was excited to try their food out. One of mine and Bri's favorite things is to try new and random places to eat. Especially food that isn't American. I can pretend for a moment that I am in a different part of the world. You can bet that I pretended as we ate the lunch buffet.

Then, I went to the most magical store on earth. It is one I could stay in for hours if a person would let me.

That store is Borders.

The instant we walked through the doors, a feeling of calm peace washed over me. I seriously stood there and closed my eyes, and took a big whiff of the wonderful smells of Borders. The scent of paper mixed with coffee and pastries filled my nostrils. I was in heaven.

I decided buying a book would be my fix. But just one book. That's all a girl like me can afford. Do you have any idea what a challenge it was?

I had a stack of books to select from. Bad news. I would be walking, and a cover would just catch my eye. So I would run my hand across it and feel the story within it screaming, "Read me! Read me!"

I finally narrowed it down to two choices: The Time Traveler's Wife or Wicked.

Which one did I choose?

Walking out of Borders, I was a happy girl, but little did I know, the adventure of our Saturday was just beginning.

Dallin Webb (I call him Dal Pal because he secretly loves it) informed Brian and I that we could go to the Jazz game with him if we wished. We wished yes. So we went. Five of us crammed into a tiny car and drove to Salt Lake. We made it right as the game was starting. Best part? We sat in the sky box. Between sitting above everything and having never ending amounts of free food, I was on cloud nine. The Jazz played awful and got pounded, but I could have cared less. I went to a Jazz game for free and got free dinner, spice cake, and pop corn as well and that was all that mattered. And I got in free all on account of pretending I was interested in selling pest control in the summer.

Then of course, Sunday brought the Superbowl. I have always considered the Superbowl a holiday. Brian and I ventured to Idaho, where we were welcomed by my family and lots of snacks.

To sum up my feelings on the Superbowl:

• 
  
  I was happy the Packers won.
  


• 
  
  Christina Aguilera really needs to learn the words to her country's National Anthem.
  


• 
  
  BEP are not the best live singers, but they know how to entertain an audience.
  


• 
  
  I aspire to be one of their dancers and wear a glowing costume.
  
  


• 
  
  I do not feel that the Pack's QB deserved the MVP award.

Feeling Torn. Like a Page From a Book.

So as of late I have been playing with the thought of getting a kindle. I love reading, and it would be convenient to have all my books stored on one little thing I could carry around anywhere. The weight of books does indeed add up. Plus, buying books on the kindle is cheaper. Of course the kindle itself does cost a little over 100 dollars, but still.

I started playing with this thought after I purchased my mom a kindle for Christmas. Of course I purchased it with a wad of cash my dad handed me one day after he said, "Buy your mom some Christmas presents." I was intrigued with the whole idea of the kindle though. It was such a genius idea. I started thinking I wanted one too.

Yesterday, my siblings and I went shopping with our Christmas money. I did not buy a kindle. I bought an actual book though. I bought the Hunger Games. I haven't read them yet so I figure I better start. I only bought the first one because it's the only one so far in paperback.

I think I might be the cheapest person I will ever meet.

I think I have decided that I do not want a kindle. Many people have told me to get one and that I'll love it, but I'm not so sure if I really will love it. I think I would miss picking up a book.

I know I am going to sound like a total nerd, but I love getting a new book to add to my bookshelf. I love picking out the perfect copy and running my fingers across the cover. I love opening it up and have the aroma of fresh paper reach my nostrils. Plus, I feel like each of my books has character. My copy of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" has a stain on the side of some pages, probably from when I was too caught up in the story to set it down while eating my breakfast. My copy of "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe" with the colorful map of Narnia on the inside cover that I once examined as a kid, wondering if that world could perhaps be a real place inside our world. My copy of "To Kill a Mockingbird" with a partly torn cover and yellowed pages, I loved this book until it was worn out. Most importantly, my grandma's handwriting on the first page telling me what a wonderful book it was and that she loves me. What a fond memory that will be when I am an old lady, to examine the words in my book left behind by my grandma.

When I was a little girl, I often watched Disney's Beauty and the Beast. It always thrilled me when the Beast introduced Belle to his library. How amazing would it be to enter a room filled to the ceiling with books? I want that one day. I doubt my one day library will be that grand, but it will be all mine and that is all that matters. It will be my little library, my escape from the world, with a little nook by a window with a huge, cozy chair.

I know I would get run out of town by tree huggers reading this post. I realize that books kill a lot of trees, but let's get real, most environmentalists are a bunch of hypocrites any ways. Like vegetarians who eat fish. How come fish get to die but cows don't? Do you think cows are somehow superior to fish? That is pretty rude.

I also got thinking about my Lord of the Rings books sitting on my shelf. There is a space between my copy of "The Hobbit" and "The Two Towers" where "The Fellowship of the Ring" should be sitting. Someone stole it when I was in middle school. While I was waiting for the bus and playing a pick-up game of basketball, someone swiped it from my binder. At least I have the rest of the series though. With a kindle, if someone gets their grimy, little hands on it, your whole collection of books is gone. It is much more difficult to steal fifty hard copy books.

Then I got thinking, what if there is an evil plot behind the kindle? What if eventually, books go extinct and then kindles shut down? We will have no more books, which means no more furthering education, which means ignorance. It could happen.

Okay, probably not. . .but I am still suspicious.

Please Forgive Me, Harry.

The robes. The long lines to go to opening night movies. The crazed fans. These are a few of the things that made me stop loving Harry Potter.

I liked the Harry Potter books before it was the cool thing to do. I remember when the first book came out and my mom bought it for me. A girl in my class told me to read it since I loved to read.

"What's it about?"

"Well, this boy lives under the staircase and his uncle is really mean to him. Then he finds out he is a wizard, I think," the girl had tried to explain to me.

So I gave the book a shot and began to fall in love with the story about the nerdy wizard boy. I remember kids saying,

"Kelsey, you are reading that weird book?"

Yep. I read it. Then I read the next one. And the next one. And the next one. As years passed by, my brother and I started a system where we would pre-order the next book coming out, then switch off day by day on who got to read the book.

I also remember when the sick epidemic hit. When all the people who needed something to be a part of, decided to jump aboard the "Harry Potter" bandwagon. This irritated me. People that never read in their lives began saying how cool Harry Potter was. The book that was once laughed at was now the 'cool' thing to be reading.

Jace and I, again, pre-ordered the sixth book. I remember the happy excitement bursting from me when we got the book in the mail, but I did not tell anyone about that happy excitement. I kept it to myself. Because as much as I loved the Harry Potter books, I was getting dang sick of Harry Potter and all his fans. I read the story, finished it, and that was that. By the time the seventh book came out, Jace and I didn't even bother. I was done. I wanted to forget all about Harry Potter. I quit paying attention to the movies being released, and did not even know that they had made a fourth, fifth, and sixth movie until last summer (I must have done a great job at blocking out all things Harry Potter). And come on, JK Rowling!! Dumbledore is gay? I remember when that news was all over the media, I just laughed in disgust. She only said that for some more attention since her blessed series was over. Thanks for caring more about your popularity instead of Dumbledore's reputation. I had always hoped maybe he and Professor McGonagall would hook up. Oh well.

Over the summer, Dallin and Brian talked me into watching the movies that I hadn't known existed. We watched all three of them one night. I started to remember how much I had loved the Harry Potter books as I watched them. I tried fighting it off, but it was a hard feeling to make go away.

Then the first half of the seventh movie came to theaters. I refused to rush to the theater like all the fans I despised. Instead, I waited a couple weeks and then went. I went last night, actually. It was wonderful. There were only about twenty people in the theater, and I remembered the days I was the only girl who carried a copy of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone".

I also just want to tell everyone who my favorite Harry Potter character is.

Luna Lovegood is my very favorite. Sirius Black was once my favorite, but since he died, I decided I better find a new favorite. And at that same time I was looking, Luna came into the picture. I love her because she is fearless. She also is just her very own person. She does not care about what is in, she just does as she pleases and lives in her own happy world. She is polite and smart. She is often overlooked because she is a weird, eccentric witch, but I will never overlook her.

So Harry Potter, please forgive me. I am sorry I denied you for many years, but I could not stand all the fake fans any longer. I hope you will understand. Plus, I have came back, and that's really all that matters. I will finish the rest of the 7th book soon. I promise.

Me, Mary, and a Goose

I've had a recent obsession with reading Mary Higgins Clark books. She's said to be the greatest suspense thriller author of all time, and boy is that true! Geez Mary, what have you done to me? I loved reading her books in high school, but I kind of have been on a little drought with all reading, not just Mary. I don't like reading droughts. Because I love reading! Sometimes it's just hard to make the time to sit down, relax, and enjoy a book. The world gets so busy. I know. I like being busy, but I also enjoy getting lost in a book. The way the story can grasp me and pull me into a different world; the characters become real to me and their worries become my worries. Their wants become my wants. It's almost creepy, actually it is pretty creepy. I guess I'm just a bookworm creep. Anyways. . .



This evening I had this crazy itch to read some of my book. Right now I'm reading, "Loves Music, Loves To Dance". It's about this crazy killer that makes girls dance with him, kills them, and then puts a slipper on one of their feet. He's up to about 7 girls right now. And I'm only on page 78 or something. Out of control, I know. But along with this crazy itch, I also had a crazy itch to enjoy the nice weather outside. So I made a wonderful compromise. I went to First Dam (one of my favorite spots thus far in Logan) to read my book.



I perched myself on a rock by the water and read away! I felt so content with life for the hour I was there. I kept getting distracted by my duck friends that were quacking away nearby, but I still managed to get deep into my book. At one moment when I was vigorously turning through pages, I sensed someone near me. I thought maybe the whole mystery book thing was really getting to my head, but then I looked up to see a giant goose sitting next to me. I love these kind of geese. They're extremely ugly, but that makes me merely love them more. They're giant, and have big, bulging bumps on their heads. They also make this horrible, obnoxious honking noise. I wish I could demonstrate, and typing it just wouldn't do it justice. He was just sitting there, inches away from me, his beady eyes frozen on me. I could have easily reached out and hugged him. But I decided I didn't want to ruin my perfect day by getting attacked by my giant goose friend. He sat by me, watching me read for about ten minutes. Then a little boy splashed through the water and chased him away. I was half tempted to yell at the little boy, but I decided that would make me look like a crazy bird lady. Shortly after that, I left. I hope my goose friend will sit and read with me again sometime. I hope I can find the time to read again. . .very, very soon. I must know what happens, and which character is the murderer.



I went on a run after my reading time. I was a little on edge from my intense book, so I found myself being very grateful that Cache Valley is the safest place in the country. Pretty much. I ran to the temple and back. It was grand. The Logan temple is gorgeous. It looks like a legit castle, more so to me than other temples. Seeing it brought me comfort and I no longer had to worry about a man coming to get me and put a dancing slipper on my foot. The sun had just gone down. I LOVE summer nights when the sun has just gone down! The sky was a magnificent background to the lovely temple. The sky faded from a slate blue, to light purple, to pink, to orange. I looked at one of my dream homes that's right across from the temple too. A big, yellow sucker with an amazing yard, complete with an iron gate around it. How wonderful it would be to live across the street from the temple. Then I got thinking about it more. . . How horrible it would be to live across the street from the temple. I would probably feel guilty every day. I'd feel guilty if my kitchen was messy even. Or what if you were watching a movie and it said a naughty word?



There are many things to wonder about. Like living across the street from the temple. Or who the murderer in my book is. Or why that goose was watching me so closely. And I'll just keep wondering. Because I quite enjoy wondering. Just like I enjoy running, reading, and goose friends.