24

I turned 24 on December 29th. My past few birthdays, I didn't feel like the age I was turning had much relevance. I mean, I did turn 22 right when Taylor Swift's "22" song was gaining popularity. Besides that though, the age I turn on a birthday never has held much meaning to me. I think that's a good thing. Hopefully I'll still feel this way as I get older. I never want to be the lady in my 40s or 50s who resents my birthday because I'm turning a year older. I want my birthday to always be a celebration of the life I've lived, not the age I'm turning.

However, turning the age of 24 seemed to have a bit of an impact on me.

When I turned 14, I got Switchfoot's album "The Beautiful Letdown". One of my favorite songs on the album was called "24". I remember listening to that song over and over and deciding that somehow, the age of 24 must have some kind of magic to it. And I would turn that magical age in 10 years. When you are 14, 10 years seems like an eternity. So with an eternity to go, I dreamt up all the incredible things I would do with my life by the time I turned 24.

I hope 14-year-old Kelsey wouldn't be disappointed in what I've become. I still have a lot of goals I want to reach and places I want to see, but I think I'm doing pretty decent things with my life. I mean, I haven't succeeded in world domination yet, but I'm getting there ;).

For my birthday, Brian offered to take the day off work and go skiing. That really meant a lot to me. I know for Brian, birthdays aren't a huge deal. However, I take them pretty seriously. I love doing anything and everything I can to celebrate the people in my life when they have a birthday, so it means a lot that Brian would do that for me in return on my special day. We invited my sisters and Mom to join us, and we skied our little hearts out.

If you know me, you know that I absolutely LOVE a good snowfall. When there are tons of snowflakes falling silently to the ground it just feels completely magical. When we got up to Beaver Mountain, it was magic snowing and it kept it up the entire afternoon. I keep telling myself it was a birthday present for me from God. Not that I'm so special that God should give me a birthday present, but it's a nice thought. It was freezing though, but there was even something about that which was nice. When we went in the lodge for hot chocolate, it felt amazing for my toes to thaw out and to feel the warmth of the cocoa run down my throat and land in my tummy. It was like my body was saying, "Happy birthday! You're alive! I'm taking you down mountains! I'm freezing to remind you how alive you are! And because we are freezing, this hot chocolate tastes like heaven!"

It really did taste like heaven. I'm not really a big hot chocolate drinker, but that was probably the best cup of hot chocolate I've ever tasted. I want to remember it forever.

I don't know if 24 is truly as significant and magnificent as I made it up to be when I was 14, but I am pretty dang excited for the coming year. I think it's going to be a good one full of living and not merely just existing. Every second of every day counts. It's actually a cool thing to have a birthday at the end of the year. I feel like I get to do an extra lot of contemplating on the past year . . . as well as planning for the coming year.

In the words of Switchfoot, "I'm not who I thought I was 24 hours ago . . ."

Facing Fears

Last weekend, Brian and I talked my mom and sisters into going skiing with us. My fifteen-year-old sister had been a handful of times. My youngest sister had never been. My mom went once when she was in high school. We decided going for just half the day would be a wise plan.

It's funny how different my sisters are. Lexi is fearless. She rarely thinks about the consequences of her actions, she just acts on passion and willpower. It's something that more often than not gets her in trouble, but I also think it's a gift. I'm jealous that she can try things without being intimidated by fear. Even though she's only been skiing a few times, you would never guess it. She always wants to go on a harder run, she always goes faster than the rest of us, and she's the first to laugh at anyone who falls down.

Then there is Chloe. Chloe is sweet and careful about many things. She's shy around new people, she can get her feelings hurt easily, and the last thing she ever wants to do is hurt someone else's feelings. She is also very timid when it comes to trying new things. Even though she didn't straight out say it (remember, she probably didn't want to hurt our feelings), Chloe did not want to be on the mountain that day with skis strapped to her feet.

As we approached the ski lift for our first run of the day, I let the cool breeze whip at my bare cheeks and I took in the site of tall white cliffs that wore piercing evergreen trees as accessories. I hadn't been skiing since I was 13. In the past few years, I'd tried getting into snowboarding, although I wasn't that good. Brian and I decided after years of snowboarding, we should give skiing a go. I was sure I would be fine transitioning to skiing, but I was still a bit nervous. I could feel the fear burning in the pit of my stomach as our turn to get on the lift got closer and closer. I was afraid . . . but I'd never admit it. I'm somewhere in between my two sisters. I'm the one who often acts brave but the pace of my heartbeat would tell otherwise.

I looked down at Chloe and saw that her eyes were brimming with tears. I asked her if she was okay.

"I don't want to get on the lift! I'm afraid of heights," she cried.

My mom comforted her while I tried to be all profound and said, "It's okay, Chlo. It's good to do things that scare us."

We persuaded Chloe to get on the lift. She kept her eyes closed the whole time. On our first run down, Chloe picked up speed and couldn't stop. She sat down and Brian skied down the mountain with all his might, trying to catch her. After some coaching from Brian, Chlo figured out the magical slowing down power of plowing. We went on a few more runs. Chloe looked more confident. She was no longer afraid. I even thought she was maybe enjoying herself.

When we reached the end of the day with only a few minutes left until the lifts would close, we decided to head in to the lodge and return our ski rentals.

Chloe tugged on my glove and said with excitement, "Will you go one last time with me?"

I was thrilled to hear her ask. We hurried for the lift (she still closed her eyes) and took one last ride. She looked so graceful and had a perfect run. On the car ride back home, Chloe kept asking my mom when they could go skiing again.

Oh, and you never would have guessed it was only my mom's second time skiing. She only fell once, and that one time occurred because she decided to run over me. So yeah, we both crashed pretty good on that one. Then she just sprawled out on the snow and laughed. I couldn't get too mad at her for the whole incident ;).    

Unplugged

Last weekend, we hiked to what is believed to be the oldest tree in the state of Utah (Jardine Juniper hike). It's basically in our backyard! It was a long 12 mile hike, so we decided to camp near the trail head so we could get an early start.

When Brian and I first got married, we were super paranoid about becoming that couple. You know, the kind that drops off the face of the planet and never does anything with anyone else but each other? We were constantly doing fun things, but never wanting to do them without a group of people to join us. We wanted to do everything with friends. It's nice to have friends and I feel like we've been blessed to have such an amazing support group. But I'm beginning to learn that it is more than okay to have fun alone together, just as a couple.

Brian and I are also pretty attached to technology at times. I hate to admit that, but we are. Our jobs often times force us to be. I'm constantly checking twitter, news websites and Facebook to see if there is any local news I need to get on top of, and Brian often is replying to customers via email. The world can get so loud and distracting at times.

We needed this weekend to truly have "us" time. No other people. No cell phone service. No internet. It was amazing to completely unplug and pay attention to what was happening around us, in the moment. On Friday night, we huddled around the fire and just talked about our relationship and our future. Then we went to bed in our little tent, the sound of churning water in the riverbed nearby put us to sleep.

Then there was the hike. I'm telling you, being in the mountains is the cure for just about any problem. We walked, talked, laughed, slipped a few times on loose rocks, ate Scooby Doo fruit snacks, and often times we just stopped in awe of the landscape that surrounded us. This world is a beautiful place. Even that twisted and gnarly old tree is beautiful. Actually, it's especially beautiful.
 

Reaching the Top

I am an Activity Days Leader for my church. Twice a month, we do activities with the girls ages 8-11 in our community. It's one of my favorite callings I've ever had because I feel like I get the opportunity to remind these little girls how important and capable they are. 

Last week, we took them on a hike to the Wind Caves. It can be a pretty tough hike for little legs to climb and not only that, but we left at 4:30 in the afternoon. It was smoldering hot. The girls begged for a break every 30 seconds and for a while, I wasn't sure we would make it to the top.

However, those little fireballs proved me wrong. 

We made it to the cave and enjoyed the wonderful view around us. They were all so proud of themselves. They had climbed a mountain! One of the girls even outstretched her arms and said, "This is proof that God loves us." I think it made my heart melt.  

On the way back down, we passed a group of high school boys and one said, "Look, those little girls did it so we can too."

The girls all replied proudly, "Yeah! We did it! Girl power!" 

It put a smile on my face the whole way down as I overheard the little ladies saying things like,

"I can't wait to tell my parents." 

"Look how high we climbed." 

"That was hard but it was soooo worth it." 

Also, it was encouraging to know that all the girls drank enough water since every single one of them had to pee on the way down. 

That night as I took a bubble bath and scrubbed all the mountain dirt off my feet, I just couldn't stop thinking about what those girls taught me that night. 

I've been thinking a lot about trials lately. Sometimes good people have to go through bad things and there is no logical reason as to why. When I was 17 years old and went to Ethiopia, I had my eyes first opened to this. We paid a visit to a hospital (it was more like a giant barn). I saw things I'd never witnessed in little old Idaho. I met with deformed children, blind people, malnourished people, and after we visited the wing of females infected with AIDS, I lost it. I walked out into the hallway and broke down crying. How could God do this to these innocent people? Why did I have it so good? I wasn't any more deserving. 

There aren't answers to everything, at least not answers I always understand, but I do know that trials can make us better people. Trials are a part of our story and how we respond to those trials will make us or break us. Sometimes when trudging through the dirt and heat, we just want to sit down on a rock and say, "I quit." Or maybe we want to turn around altogether and go back where we came from. 

But sometimes, we push through it even though it's hard and it hurts. We press forward until we've overcome the challenge and reached the top. And the top is a beautiful place that not everyone always gets to see. 

I hope these girls always want to reach the top.

  

Logan Love: Ephraim's Grave

I've had a long-time love for bears. For our honeymoon, we went to Glacier National Park. There were bear warning signs plastered everywhere. I searched and searched for a bear in the bear-infested land and never even saw one. Bummer. I've always wondered where my odd obsession with bears stems from and I think I discovered the source.

As a little girl, my grandma would tell me stories about Old Ephraim. He was a massive grizzly bear who roamed the land as far as Soda Springs, Idaho down to Weber County in Utah (that's a lot of land for a bear). Old Ephraim is kind of a local bit of folklore. He was also known as Old Three Toes due to a deformity on one of his paws. He reeked havoc on farmers, devouring their sheep and chasing off sheepherders. Many tried to catch and kill him and it took a long time for anyone to succeed.

Frank Clark, a farmer from Malad, Idaho decided to make it his mission to catch the bear. He had trapped and killed many grizzly bears. Clark tried for a long time and failed. He found a pool where Old Ephraim went at night so he dropped a trap in the water. Each time, the following morning, the trap would carefully be lifted out and set aside. Clark was amazed with how smart the vicious bear was. Finally one night, Clark succeeded. Shrieks of terror woke him up so he left camp and soon found the bear with the trap clamped on his paw. It took seven shots and I think it about gave Clark a heart attack, but he finally killed the infamous bear. Later he said he regretted killing Old Ephraim.

Up Logan Canyon, near the site where the last grizzly bear in Utah was killed, there now stands a huge monument. The stone structure is 11 feet tall, the same height as Old Ephraim. This song is engraved on the monument:

Old Ephraim, Old Ephraim, your deeds were so wrong;

Yet we build you this marker and sing you this song;

To the king of the forest so mighty and tall;

We salute you, Old Ephraim, the king of them all.

 
I had always wanted to visit the monument, but it never happened. Finally, last weekend, I did it. I even wore my bear shirt for extra celebration. The fact that we also chased sheep down the road was another dramatic touch (since Old Ephraim's favorite snacks were little lambs). My family drove down from Idaho to join in on the fun. Huge props to my lovely mother for loading the ranger and four-wheeler on the trailer all by herself. Talk about Superwoman. I also better give a shout out to Jace and Alexis for following the ranger the entire way on the four-wheeler. They ate our dust. Quite literally as you can see from that last picture.

To get to Ephraim's Grave, go up Logan Canyon and turn at the Temple Fork turnoff. From there, follow the signs leading to Ephraim's Grave. This August, it will be the 90th anniversary of the legendary bear's death. Another interesting bit of information: Old Ephraim's skull is on display at the USU Library. It's been to the Smithsonian as well, so his noggin is kind of a big deal.

That time I almost met Robert Redford

One of the many pretty views at Sundance Resort

Okay, not really. But a girl can dream. A couple weekends ago, Brian won a weekend getaway to Sundance Resort since his Allstate agency is doing such a grand job. I was proud of him, and way stoked to get away for a couple of days to stay in the mountains. We drove through Park City on Friday night where we stopped for dinner. By the time we got to the resort, it was pretty late so we went up to our cozy cabin and decided to watch a movie. Luckily, in the lobby there was a library of Robert Redford movies (he owns Sundance Resort) so we checked out Butch Kassidy and the Sundance Kid. 

The next morning, we went to a big breakfast, courtesy of Allstate. All the other agents who won the trip were also there. We enjoyed fruit, waffles, and biscuits with gravy out on the deck of the lodge where we enjoyed this view:

Everything was so peaceful until a lady who works with Brian often approached us and said, "Did you see Robert Redford last night? He's staying at the resort this weekend. I saw him."

At that point, my heart started racing and I had to stop myself from freaking out. I love Robert Redford. Even though he's now old enough to be my grandfather, I think he's one of the loveliest men in Hollywood to ever live. Just sayin'. I immediately started interrogating her, asking where he was, what he acted like, how long he was staying, what he was wearing . . . you know, just your typical stalker questions.

Needless to say, I kept my eyes peeled for the remainder of our stay, but saw no Mr. Redford. The best I could do was the collection of DVDs from the front lobby.

But we did go on an epic hike to see a waterfall instead. That lightened my spirits quite a bit. A popular hike for the area is the hike to Stewart Falls. Except the majority of people pay to ride the ski lift most of the way up, so I'm not sure if you can really call it a hike. BWell and I are cheap wads, so we searched the forest for the unmarked trail. We wandered for quite some time, but eventually got on track and made it to the falls. It was scorching hot that afternoon too. So after being covered in dust and marching our way through the high 90 degree weather, we gladly hiked up to the higher fall and took a little dip in the pool. Talk about an instant cool down. Ice ice baby. That's how cold the water was.

I'm still thoroughly convinced I live in an area with some of the best hiking in the country (and the best part is that no one else has caught on, so I get most of the trails to myself), but I'll admit that this hike was pretty darn cool. Provo Canyon, you got me. And BYU peeps, you really ought to start bragging up this Stewart Falls hike over that whole climb to the Y. I would much rather see a waterfall at the end of my hike over getting to look at Provo City. But that's just me and I'm weird. But seriously, Stewart Falls was breathtaking..

Sunday Best: Sundance Style

fedora: Delia's, vest: Smith's, top: Head Over Heels, skirt: Alloy, sandals: Head Over Heels necklace: Buckle

After a stressful week at work, a weekend getaway at Sundance Resort is just what the doctor ordered. It was nice spending time tucked up in the mountains with my main squeeze, BWell. We stayed in a quaint cabin where we watched Robert Redford movies late into the night. Most of Saturday was spent in hiking clothes, getting filthy as we hiked up to Stewart Falls (it was gorgeous). However, into the afternoon, I cleaned up a bit and we headed into Park City where we hit up the outlets. Brian was in great need of clothes (he only owned two pairs of shorts before our outing) and I needed new running shoes. Then we came back to the resort and had dinner. The only way the day could have ended better was if we met Robert Redford (he was staying at Sundance this weekend too!). 

Have I ever mentioned I have this big fat celebrity crush on Robert Redford? Yeah, he's old enough to be my grandpa. But seriously. Plus, Jeremiah Johnson is one of my very favorite movies.

PS- Follow Little Bird on bloglovin if you know what's good for you. Google Reader is getting the ax TOMORROW and I really don't want to lose track of you and your bad self. Or if you are my friend on Facebook, I'm constantly annoying everyone by posting links to every latest post. Have a happy week and a grand Independence Day (probably my second favorite holiday after Christmas). Peace.   

Around a Fire

Summer always truly starts for me after the first fire. Going to the pool and getting a sunburn, wearing shorts for the first time of the year, and eating corn on the cob are all signs of summer too, but a fire where people I love are gathered around it is the first sign.

My high school year summer breaks are filled with memories of fires. Coming from a small town where over half the kids had to work their tails off all day on farms, we didn't always spend our days at the pool, the lakes, shopping, or whatever else. Sure, there were times for those things. But a summer night fire was a regular thing for us all. When the sun started setting and the work for the day was over, we were set free for the night. If I wasn't sending a text out about a fire somewhere, I was receiving a text. It was always an open invitation too, you were expected to pass the message along in hopes that a load of people would show up. Sometimes there was food. Sometimes not. Sometimes we met at the lakes where the fire was on the beach, close to the water. Other times we would make a journey up a canyon, across rough dirt roads that you needed four-wheel drive to survive on, and we would start a fire on some mountain top, overlooking the valley. And then there were times we kept things simple and met up at the park where camp chairs, blankets, and picnic tables were pulled around a fire pit. 

It might sound a little lame to some people, but it wasn't. We loved it. We would all bring food to contribute and pig out and sometimes we would just sit around the fire, stare into the flames and think our seventeen year old lives were the greatest and most significant things ever (ha). If things got really rowdy, boys would show up with bottle rockets and throw them into the fire. They would then shoot off randomly and it was the most terrifying thing ever. On one occasion, an old sofa some people brought started on fire due to a bottle rocket. It was quickly put out. Just remembering some of these things makes me shake my head and wonder how in the world we all survived without starting a forest fire. 

Although food cooked over an open flame is great and there were nights filled with dancing and lighting things on fire, my favorite memories of those fires were the hours of conversation. It's funny how much closer you can feel to people when you talk to them around a fire with a moon and stars over your head. 

Although I am a bit older now and we don't invite the whole town, I still love having fires on any given summer night. A few weeks ago, we had our first of the year up Logan Canyon. We found the perfect camp site and invited our friends Rauren (Richie and Lauren) and Jayla (Jace and Shayla) . . . and we can't forget baby Claire! 

Everyone made food contributions so we could have a tasty dinner. We sat around, laughed, and talked. That troublemaker Claire wanted to toss bottle rockets in the fire but we had to stop her. Richie and Laur will have their hands full with that girl ;).

Now I will leave you with "Girl on Fire" by Alicia Keys since it says the word fire, but mostly just since I love it.

Truth Tuesday

• It's time to be completely honest. . . I just don't love blogging anymore. I am not sure exactly what that means for the future of this blog. Maybe nothing. Maybe it's just a phase and I'll fall in love with it all over again. Maybe I'll keep it up with the inconsistent spurts of posts. Or maybe I'll eventually stop all together. I just don't know. But I do know that my life is changing. I started this blog while in school after the Department Head of Journalism said to me, "If you want to be a good journalist, you need to write and read something every day." So I started this blog as a way to write something and put it out there for someone else to read, hoping that it might strengthen my writing skills. Then I watched as blogging turned into a coping mechanism for me. It was really a means of escape for me while in school. When I felt stressed and needed to take a break from editing and appointments and homework, I would write. I would write here, on this blog. There were no deadlines, no expectations, no grades. For a moment I could just turn away from my to-do list and write out my jumbled thoughts in a blog post. This blog was my outlet. Now I am at this weird transition in my life. I feel like I have control of my time more and it's so nice. When I do have a spare moment nowadays, I think of writing a blog post but the desire is not there. Maybe that's a sad thing, but I think maybe more than anything it's a healthy thing. I think it's a sign that my life is good. Don't get me wrong, life was good before, but I don't necessarily need to come to this blog on a regular basis as a means of escape like I did before. I don't have to live through this blog. I don't have to justify myself through this blog. Perhaps soon I'll be back for more blogging. Who knows. But for now, I am enjoying how it feels to just be.  Is this normal?   

• I am now serving in my church ward as an assistant camp director for girls camp as well as a leader for activity days. I am stoked! I love spending time with the youth. It's such a cool experience to see them progress and develop goals. Today we went horse back riding with our girls for activity days. The girls bundled up and braved the rainy weather. It was a blast! After we dropped the girls off (we all live in an area of town homes) one of the gals dropped by my place and gave me a little bouquet of flowers she picked. I put them in a vase on my kitchen table and thought of how my mom used to always do that with all the flowers we brought her. That cute girl made my night though, although I feel slightly bad she picked someone else's flowers. Sorry! 

• I think holidays on Mondays are just about the best thing to ever happen to our calendar.

• On that subject, my long weekend earned an A+. We went on several different hikes, hung out with friends and family, had a fire up the canyon where we roasted hot dogs and mallows, ate burgers at barbecues, and we cleaned our patio up and planted flowers. It was a productive weekend. 

• My only regret from this weekend is that we didn't make it to the cemeteries this year for Memorial Day. I feel guilty. Honestly, Memorial Day has always been one of my favorite holidays. I have wonderful memories of visiting different graves with my family. I would set the flowers carefully next to the tombstone while the adults would tell me the stories of my deceased family members and ancestors. I guess I've always had a journalist in me because as a kid I loved hearing stories about these people who were my relatives. One day, I hope I can remember the stories of those who passed on well enough that I can tell them to my own kids and take them to visit the graves.    

Lost with Friends

A couple Saturdays ago, I met up with some of my longtime friends. We were kind of attached at the hip in high school and have still stayed close. Granted, Shayla was my roommate after high school and we still hang out often, but I'm still proud of the fact that I've stayed so close with my high school chums. They were even bridesmaids at my wedding (tender). 

I love that we can go for months at a time without seeing each other or talking much but as soon as we meet up, it feels like we've never been apart. It's also great that so many different personalities can come together to form this thing called friendship. Shayla is the sweet one. Catherine is the funny one. Abbie is the happy-go-lucky one. I'm the quirky one. Friendship is wonderful. 

We set out on a hike which we expected to be only a couple miles long. Needless to say, we got very lost and ended up covering much more ground than we planned to. There were lots of comments like: Are we going the right way? and Which direction is the car? and That bee is huge! But it was a hoot and we all made it back to the car eventually, so that was good.

Four girls lost in the wilderness is a scary thought, but we didn't mind. We wandered around aimlessly and laughed about how ridiculous our situation was, all while reminiscing, eating Twizzler Pull 'N' Peels, playing Truth or Dare, and deciding how we would ration out our PB&J sandwiches if things went real sour and we ended up lost for days.  

Love you long time, girls. Let's get lost somewhere together again soon. Maybe next time at the lake or movie theater since Abbie aint a hiking fan.