Excuse My Absence

I've been in Hawaii for the last week. Just got back yesterday. And when I go on vacations, I really go on vacation meaning I'm almost impossible to get in touch with. I keep my phone off and my laptop closed. The one piece of technology I continue using is my camera and occasionally my iPod. Apparently I hate technology so much while vacationing that I lost my phone on the trip. It fell out of my pocket on the plane. And after the kind flight attendants assisted me in climbing around on our hands and knees through the aisles and finding nothing, I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Oh well. I don't like my cell phone that much any ways." But I really don't. I just hate that anyone and everyone can get a hold of me whenever they want. I might like cell phones more now though, because today Brian got me a new phone and this one is a smart phone. The phone I lost was a razor, you see. The phone that everyone had in middle school, back when the razor was so cool, and back when I didn't even have a cell phone yet. So apparently I'm moving up in the world. I'm so excited to play Words with Friends now. It will be glorious.

 I got a bit off topic, but that was basically the story of why I haven't been blogging. Because I traded in being a blogger for being a beach bum for a while and it was oh so nice. The vacation ended way too soon. But maybe that's because I was dreading coming back to Utah since we now have to move to a new apartment. Bummer. I despise moving. Especially when I'm all jet-lagged. So again, you may not be hearing from me for the next few days since I'll be vacuuming carpets and organizing pots and pans. How splendid. On a positive note, I now have a walk-in closet. I always dreamed of what it would feel like to have my own walk-in closet. Back in high school, I was jealous of my friends with walk-ins, although I never admitted that to any of them. Now I have my very own. I hung my clothes in it today and about drooled on the floor. I think I could just live in there and be happy. I'm really moving up in the world: a smart phone and a walk-in closet all in the same week.

I hope to document my adventure in Paradise real soon. And get moved into my new place real soon. And figure out how to work my new phone real soon. But aside from all the things I must get done real soon, I am a very lucky little girl. Brian and I actually realized when we were on our flight going to Hawaii that it had been exactly a year since he proposed to me on a sandy beach in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. And a year later we were on our way to Hawaii. I have a feeling I have many adventures ahead of me being married to that BWell of mine.

Beach in Mexico 

Beach in Hawaii 

My First Encounter With a Naughty DVD

After Brian and I got married, we didn't rush off on some crazy honeymoon. We decided to put it off a week and just spend the first week of marriage in Logan. Work on getting our feet underneath us a little bit. But that doesn't mean we didn't find time that first week to have some fun.

We scored a free night stay at Anniversary Inn. We decided to book our room for a Wednesday night because we thought, "We'll be able to choose from any room we want. It won't be busy on a Wednesday night." 

Good thinking, right?

Wrong. 

There was only one room left. La Hacienda. But it turned out being an awesome room. We were fans.

When we first made it through the door and set our bags down, we decided to explore every bit of the room. I started going through all the drawers because, I dunno, I thought maybe they left us something nice there to find. I didn't find anything nice left behind for us, but I found something that was hidden and left behind accidentally. I pulled the drawer open to see a DVD tucked clear in the back. I reached back for it and began to examine what it was. It wasn't a Disney show. It wasn't any kind of show I had ever heard of. There was a big breasted blonde girl wearing a very small, very blue bathrobe. Her hand reached inside the bathrobe, ready to pull it open at any moment. 

"Brian? What IS this?" 

Brian took it from my hand, examined it for a moment and then started laughing, "I think it's a porn." 

I was disgusted. I knew people watched porn, but it's one of those things where you think all the people that watch porn don't really exist. Like I know there are murderers in the world, but I don't expect to walk into some room and find a freshly murdered body on the floor. Get what I mean? I then broke the DVD in half and threw it in the garbage. Because people that come to a themed room hotel shouldn't have to waste time watching porn. Why pay $300 for a room and then waste time watching that stuff when you could just stay at home and watch it? I don't understand. But whatever floats their boat I guess. So, whoever you are, sorry I broke your DVD. Except I'm really not that sorry. 

Besides the nasty DVD, we really enjoyed our room. The bathtub was huge and had flashing disco lights in the bottom. Dance party in the bathroom, sure thing. Chips and salsa also came with our room, so we decided to be rebels and eat chips and salsa in the bathtub. It sure was liberating. Oh, and there was a hammock. And bathrobes. But the bathrobes felt sandpaper-like. Like I was nervous it was going to peel my skin off. The cheesecake was also delicious and boy, I love having breakfast brought to my door in the morning.

One day, when we're rich, staying in cool rooms like this must happen on a regular basis. For now, I'll just keep trying to win free night stays from random drawings.

 

Jungles, Zip Lines, and Sand Art

Day 5. Wednesday.

I stepped off the ship and set foot on land in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. As usual, there were people dressed up, wanting you to stop and take a picture with them and as usual, we tried avoiding them. Then I spotted a furry creature. Anyone that knows me, knows that I am a sucker for all animals. The furry creature was the most adorable ass I have ever seen. And when I say ass, I mean donkey, obviously.

I made a beeline straight for the donkey. I am pretty sure I was making my squeaky voice, long lasting, "Ohhhhhhhh," that I make for all cute animals, and I'm pretty sure I was wiggling my fingers at the thing, if you can imagine. In my 'cute animal trance' I accidentally cut off the line waiting for the donkey, and sat right down on the wooden stool next to the beast. I instantly started petting and loving my new friend. I may even be guilty of having kissed his furry nose. He was the cutest donkey ever. Much cuter than the ones we used in the donkey basketball tournament back when I was in high school (yep, go ahead and laugh. I'm kind of a redneck) Then I looked up at the Mexican man who was holding the donkey's harness. I noticed he was also holding a basket of straw.

In my excitement, I pointed at the basket and asked if I could feed the donkey. He gave me a very odd look but still handed the basket over. I began to feed my friend. Suddenly the man holding Mr. Donkey spoke. "Okay ma'am, you need to let us take your picture now."

Oh. My. Gosh.

This was a line to merely get your picture taken with the donkey. Now realizing, I glanced at the line of people behind me, who were glaring me down with irritated and disgusted looks. So I smiled and the picture was taken. The pictures were $12. So me, being the cheap skate I am, obviously didn't buy it. I wish I would have now though. Just imagine a fuzzy donkey and a girl with pure joy and excitement covering her face. That's my picture.

I finally found Brian, Shay, and D. They had made it through the crowd and were now waiting for me. They weren't too upset. They just shook their heads and laughed at me a little bit. Randee and Trev were not with us during the course of this day. Yep, the married people ditched us. Just kidding. It was their one year anniversary, after all. I would want some alone time too.

We finally found a decent deal on. . . .

a zip line tour!!!

We're talkin' zip lines hundreds of feet in the air, taking you through jungle.

This was an awesome activity. If you ever go to Puerto Vallarta, do the zip line tour! It is totally safe and the guys that host the tour are hilarious!

Obviously, I didn't really have my camera out through the course of this adventure. But just know if I did, the pictures would be sick. Sick in the really good way.

After the tour had ended, we had a forty minute drive back to the city. Our driver, Manny, had just ordered lunch at the bar. We told him to take his time and we would explore.

While Manny ate, we wandered around the bar, which was under a giant canopy. . .

Went off a rope swing into this refreshing, little pool. . .

And poked through the cages at these parrots. Well, I poked them at least. . .

Once Manny finished eating, we took off for the city. With the remaining time we had, we walked along the beach, and also did some more shopping at flea markets. I purchased a beautiful stitched bag and a purple poncho. While walking along the beach, we ate some of the best mango that any of us had ever tasted and admired sand art.

Oh, and remember that talk we had earlier of donkey basketball in my high school years? Here is some proof:

Oh West Side High, you were grand.

Jumbo Tampons, Beautiful Beaches, and a Proposal

Day 4. Tuesday.

My menstruation cycle is discussed in this post. I apologize to anyone that feels offended that I would discuss my period on the internet. However, it is a big part of my life, being a girl and all. Plus, as a writer, I feel it is important to discuss slightly uncomfortable topics. I do not think periods are uncomfortable topics to talk about though. I actually find period stories pretty funny. Maybe that is because I, myself, have loads of them. On a second note, I want to remember this story just as it happened. It was a pretty big day after all. The day my future husband proposed to me is what I consider to be a pretty big day. Including the 'period part' of this story will show just how miserable I was at the beginning of the day, and how Brian turned it into the best of days. He tends to do a good job at that. Thanks Bri.

My periods are from Hell. Notice I am not cussing. I even capitalized Hell to get a point across that I am, indeed, referring to the place. Seriously, I think the devil, himself, sent them to me. I know all girls say that. I have no place to say that mine are worse than the next girl's, but mine are pretty horrid. Back in bible times, supposedly women were put away during the week of their period. At first, I thought that was horrible to put a woman alone in a room and kind of shun her for a week. I guess I can't blame them though. Some girls are absolute jerks during their periods. And sometimes, I wouldn't mind being locked in a room. Usually (at least the first couple days) all I can do is sit in a room any ways. In the summer, if I am on my period, I try to avoid swimming the first couple days completely. I know, I've heard it before.

"Try a tampon, Kelsey."

I do try tampons. Jumbo ones to be exact. However, the second day of my period, a jumbo tampon will last me 45 minutes to an hour if I am lucky.

Of course, my period was due to start some time during the cruise. That's the other horrid thing about my period. It always comes at the most inconvenient times. Thinking back on most of the highlights of my high school/college career, I was on my period.

Track districts or track state. I think it alternated every year.

Prom.

Family trips.

Track camp.

State volleyball.

WAC Indoor Championships.

Spring break last year.

And now. . .spring break this year, during the cruise.

Basically, every time something important happens to me, I'm on my period.

Tuesday marked the second day of my period. The awful day. Which was also the day we had planned to spend our time in Cabo on the beach, snorkeling, swimming, and enjoying some of the world's best beaches. Lucky me.

I convinced myself that everything would be fine. I told myself to be positive. So I changed into my swim suit, telling myself over and over again that I did not look bloated, and loaded my beach bag full of tampons.

Once on land, we booked a boat tour with a glass-bottom boat. They took us around the bay (which was gorgeous) and then planned on dropping us off by Lover's Beach with snorkeling equipment. We would then stay there for several hours before the same boat would return for us.

Being in a small boat on the ocean water was a crazy experience. It was fun, but I may or may not have gotten nervous a couple times.

Finally, the time came that we were dropped off on the beach to do some snorkeling. Snorkeling was one of the things I was the most excited for. Turns out, I am disabled or something when it comes to trying to snorkel. I think it was all those years of being a runner and being taught how to breathe correctly. So trying to breathe completely through my mouth while snorkeling was very foreign to me. Every time I went under water, I was instantly greeted with a face full of delicious salt water. It also didn't help that my period was causing me to feel extremely uncomfortable and short of patience. After trying several times and feeling frustrated. . .the worst thing happened. That stupid jumbo tampon failed me. I was completely embarrassed and felt like crying.

After resolving the problem a bit, I wanted nothing but to feel the sand and sun on my body. So that's what I did. I went to a nice spot to lie down and Brian tried to convince me to go on a walk with him. I didn't think anything of it. All I knew is at that moment I did not feel like walking.

Randee got all excited and said, "Where are we walking to?"

Trevin replied quickly, "Not us! Just Brian and Kelsey."

I remember thinking, "Whoa, you guys can go with us."

However, I didn't walk. I collapsed in the sand, wanting to die, and told Brian that I would go on a walk in a few minutes.

Shortly after, the three boys decided they wanted to go find a more private beach. As afternoon had drawn upon us, so had dozens and dozens of other tourists and the beach had grown very crowded. So the boys hiked around some rocks and out of sight, while the girls hung back for some relaxation.

After a while, Trevin and Brian both eagerly came back, telling us they found a great beach and no one else was there.

Dallin was not present. Turns out he was back guarding a very special ring, as well as chasing people away from the beach.

Fighting off my fatigue, I got up and started the hike to our beach. The little beach they had discovered was just as great as they had said. The sand was amazing and the beach itself was hidden by some very pretty rock structures.

Once we arrived, Brian led me away from the rest of the group. He was acting slightly awkward. I did not know what was going on. He led me to the top of the beach, right below some awesome cliffs. I looked down at the sand and saw a big X formed with flip flops.

"What the heck is Dallin doing with his flip flops?"

Brian smiled and replied, "I don't know. Maybe we should take a look."

With that, he bent down, moved the flip flops, and began digging into the sand.

At this moment, I think I rolled my eyes a little bit. Let me explain.

Brian is the biggest tease. Ever. We have been planning on getting married for some time now, I just was waiting for him to pop the question. I had refused to help shop for rings so I didn't know at this point if he even had a ring or not. Before we had gone on the cruise, Brian had already fake proposed to me TWICE. Rude, huh? But slightly funny, I'll admit. So I had already planned on him fake proposing during our cruise. I mean, it's perfect. Getting proposed to in Mexico. By the ocean. How romantic. So obviously he was going to fake propose here.

So that is why I began rolling my eyes. I knew the fake proposal was coming. Then he pulled out a rolled up wad of socks from the sand. I just stood there, deciding I would let the boy have his fun. Then he took an actual case out of the socks. Then he opened up the case and there was an actual sparkly ring in that case. Very sparkly. Wow. . .very, very sparkly! Then he was down on one knee, smiling up at me. Smiling that big Brian smile that I just can't resist.

Then he said, "Kelsey, will you marry me?"

I stood there for a few seconds with big eyes and my mouth hanging open before replying. I was pretty sure this proposal was not fake. This was the real deal.

"Wait. . .is this for real?"

Those are the words that came out of my mouth.

Brian began laughing, "Yes, this is for real!!"

So of course I said yes. Over and over again. Yes, yes, yes. I did not even look at the ring, I basically just attacked Brian. We kissed and hugged and all that gross, mushy stuff. He twirled me across the sand, and we looked down at our friends, who were cheering and taking pictures.

Then we heard more cheering from boats by the shore. People had been watching. Some Mexican fishermen even started yelling congratulations to us. It was unreal. We were in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. On our very own beach. We were engaged. My life officially rocked. Take that period. Try ruining my day now.

When I got around to actually looking at the ring on my finger, I instantly fell in love with it. I am so glad that I let Brian do it by himself. I had so many people pestering me about going ring shopping with him. I didn't want to though. I wanted the ring to be completely from Brian. Not something I told Brian to buy. Plus, if a boy can get you a ring that is your style, it is probably a pretty good sign that he knows you. Well, my pal sure does know me. Check this bling out:

He designed it! Just for me!

The rest of the day, I was basically in La La Land. As you could imagine. That night we had a fancy dinner in honor of our engagement.

Oh, and I made some new friends. . .

So basically, the moral of the story is that everything exciting in my life happens when I'm on my period. Actually, I would be on it during our wedding most likely. Thank goodness my friend, birth control will solve that problem.

August 5th. Logan temple. I will go from Kelsey Keller to Kelsey Weller. Drastic change there.

Or even better, I could be a Dr. Seuss character. Kelsey Keller Weller. Catchy, right?

Scooters, Tacos, and Flea Markets

Day 3. Monday.

Monday. A day of excitement. We woke up early to prepare for our departure from the ship. We had made it to our first stop. The beautiful Cabo San Lucas. It was strange to walk on deck and see land around us, since I had grown used to being surrounded by nothing but sky and water.

The time finally came for us to get on a ferry and head for land.

Reaching land resulted in being bombarded by Mexican folk, wanting us to give them business. We tried our best to walk past and ignore them as they shouted prices our way. There was one man who was very persistent with us though. He had a deal on a boat tour and snorkeling. When he announced his very reasonable price, we all stopped in our tracks. We had wanted to go snorkeling our second day in Cabo, so this seemed to be perfect. Lucky for us, Brian speaks fluent Spanish. He went to the man and started speaking to him in words we couldn't understand. After a moment, Brian turned to us and said that we had a deal with him to go snorkeling tomorrow. Brian then asked the man if he knew anyone that rented out scooters.

Lucky for us, again, the man had a friend that rented out scooters. So we followed him a couple blocks to his friend. Within minutes, the scooters were ours for five whole hours. I even got hooked up with a fancy helmet. Pink with a unicorn on the back. Riding the streets of Cabo in style.

I felt so free and cultured just roaming deep into the heart of Cabo. Away from the extreme tourist part of the city and into the authenticity of it. Rushing through traffic, my arms tight around Brian, as we passed colorful shops and smells of spicy food, I couldn't help thinking I was the luckiest girl.

Before finding some good flea markets, we hit up the beach.

After washing the sand from our feet, we hopped on our scooters and headed back into town. I picked up a great amount of souvenirs. Boy, do I love Mexican shopping! I started out not doing my own bartering. When I was in China Town in NYC a couple years back, I found out I was lacking in the bartering area. So for a while, Brian spoke in Spanish and got me some deals. After a while, I decided to stop being pathetic and try my own bartering. Turns out, I'm not half bad. Brian lost track of me (or I lost track of him) while bartering for some bracelets. Once the man wouldn't go down any lower, I just started walking away. Then he called out for me to not leave and gave me the deal I wanted. Brian showed up shortly after and the man told him,

"She's a tough customer."

Is it bad that I was proud of myself?

To say the least, I already miss the way you shop in Mexico. A lot. No more of this:

"Hey pretty lady! I offer you good deal! Twenty dollar. That a good price."

"Um, how about twelve dollars?"

"Fifteen."

"Twelve."

"K, k. Twelve dollar."

I picked up five bracelets and a gorgeous amber ring. Plus a Mexican Coke. . .which I enjoyed very much.

Before turning our scooters in and heading back to the ship, we made sure to eat some authentic Mexican food.

Best sweet pork taco I've ever had in my life. Sorry Cafe Rio, you were put to shame.