Reflecting on 2013

I love looking ahead to a new year. A fresh start. But it's also fun to look back on the last year and smile at the fun memories, remember the hardships and just realize how much of an impact 12 months can have. Here's a quick look at my 2013. 

In January, we started what would be our last semester EVER of school. I spent as many days as I could snowboarding with my little brother at Beaver Mountain and we even took our friend from Ethiopia for his first time on the slopes.

February was spent doing lots of homework . . . including homework for my billiards class. I became a little obsessed and drug Brian to the pool hall on more than one occasion. It payed off though because I ended up winning our eight ball tournament in my billiards class. On top of school work, I also started my job as a morning deejay on Utah's VFX. In other words, my social life quickly died in the month of February since I had to go in to the studio every morning at 5:30 and then straight to classes after. My bedtime ended up being at 9:30 pm. It was all worth it though since I LOVE my job. Brian also got called into the bishopric during this month. Needless to say, we saw a lot less of each other.

With March came Spring Break. Conveniently enough, Brian had Allstate meetings in Las Vegas that very same week. I took time off from work and we made a trip out of it. While BWell went to meetings all morning, I spent time by the pool reading. We also went to the Beatles Love Show, something that's been high on my bucket list for a very long time. We also ate lots of good food, visited the dolphins at The Mirage, went shopping, and did a bit of gambling. In the month of March, I also had a neat experience where I got to do a few stories for Channel 4 News. We're talking shooting, writing and editing. It was high stress but great fun.

In April, I surprised Brian for his birthday with a weekend getaway to St. George. His birthday also happened to be the weekend before finals week. So we didn't study hardly at all for our last finals. Instead, we went swimming and spent time hiking in Zion National Park. Worth it. I also jumped on the ombre hair bandwagon. Oh, and I dyed a streak of my hair Aggie Blue too.

May was an exciting month! We both earned our degrees from Utah State University. Brian was nice enough to walk with me so we didn't have to suffer through two separate ceremonies. During this month, my mom, my aunt, Brian, and I ran the Ogden Half Marathon. It poured rain during the entire race. In May, I also started writing for Cache Valley Daily and my brother received his mission call to California. 

The month of June brought a few fun trips. We spent a weekend in Park City at Sundance Resort. We stayed in a cozy small cabin and watched some Robert Redford films. We also hiked to Stewart Falls and did some shopping at the outlets. We went to Lake Powell for a few days with Brian's family in the month of June as well. BWell also opened up his second insurance office and it was all celebrating over here. I also started serving as an Activity Days Leader in my church ward. Brian and I also decided to start looking into purchasing a house but we kept it on the down low.

July was a month filled with family time. Brian's siblings came to Utah for Independence Day. We hung out with them and watched fireworks that night on the boat. We also spent as much time as possible with Jace before he left on his mission at the end of the month. We went fluming, swimming and mountain exploring with my family. I also served as Assistant Camp Director for girls' camp and July was the month of camping. We had an amazing time and ate like queens. Toward the end of July, we had our annual party with my mom's family at Bear Lake. Only a couple days after Bear Lake, my dashing brother packed his bags and we dropped him off at the MTC, saying goodbye for two years. 

In August, we celebrated our second anniversary. It seems like we spent every weekend hiking. I also went to my very first Bees' game and we went with our friends Jace and Shay. August was also fair time. It also felt very satisfying when everyone went back to school but we didn't have to.  

September. Ah, September. This was the month we bought our bungalow. As soon as we were handed the keys, we ran over to Home Depot and bought paint. We had a lot of work ahead of us. From there on out, we spent all of September prepping our home. We repainted nearly every room in the house. Boy, it was a lot of work. But it was worth it. From all the painting, packing and other manual labor, my arm muscles grew and Brian and I grew closer together too. 

October is always a favorite month and this year's didn't fail me. We moved into our new old house and continued working to make it our home. The first week of October, I went to Brave Girls' Camp with my mom. We created art in a little barn in Idaho, surrounded by women from all over the world. We entered the barn as strangers and left as sisters. BWell and I went a little overboard on Halloween. We dressed like zombies and donated canned food for our town's Zombie Walk (an annual event for our local food pantry). We were glued to our television watching scary movies. We wrapped up the month and the Halloween holiday with a friend Halloween party. 

Basically the whole month of November, I was battling a bad cold but that didn't stop me from fitting in some fun. I went to a Selena Gomez concert with my mom and sisters. We also took my sister, Chloe, to her first USU football game. We hosted Thanksgiving at our bungalow and that was quite an adventure. Thankfully, Brian's family is awesome in the kitchen . . . so they brought the food to us. After getting so sick of my longer hair that I wanted to pull it out, I chopped it all off instead. In November, I also wrote a blog post that went viral. That was a strange experience.  

December was filled with everything Christmas. We were able to spend a lot of time with our families. We finally got to meet our sweet little baby niece and we Skyped with my brother on Christmas Day. We also hosted way too many parties. By the end of the month, I think we just wanted to lock our doors and hide inside for a while. We bought ourselves an early Christmas present . . . a treadmill! Hello to working out at home. In between Christmas and New Year's, I celebrated my 23rd birthday. 

******

To be honest, 2013 wasn't my best year. On the surface, it looks great. I earned my degree and bought my first house. I still have good health and all the necessities of life, so I can't really complain. However, 2013 was a hard year for me personally. I experienced lots of doubt and faced my insecurities head on. I battled through some dark patches where I felt completely alone and the hardest part was that during the dark patches, I had to go on with life acting like there was nothing wrong at all. Looking back, I don't really know how I made it through a couple of the past months, through a handful of the last 365 days. But I did it. I kept taking steps forward, praying I'd see some light again. And now there is light all around and light all ahead for the year of 2014. I know this paragraph is very ambiguous. Perhaps one day many days from now, I'll be more comfortable with the trials I faced to talk about them. Or perhaps they'll always stay as they are now, between me and God. Either way, I just wanted to share that I had those days--months--where I just wanted to throw in the towel. We all have them even if we never talk about them. Looking back on 2013, I definitely wouldn't want to relive it . . . but I'm grateful I lived through it once. Hardships bring growth, and I've seen that in myself. When I look in the mirror now, I don't just see a person. I see a soul. And I see souls of others now when I look around me. I'm grateful that 2013 taught me to see the world with different eyes.

Happy 2014! May we all celebrate the good days and be grateful for the hard days.    

The Gift of Experience

BWell and I decided to keep things simple this Christmas. Where we bought a house a few months ago, we came to the conclusion that it would be better to save instead of spend. After having a talk about it, we came to the conclusion that we would do stockings for one another and one or two small gifts for under the tree. Then we thought that instead of spending time and money shopping for one another, we would use that time to do extra holiday festivities together. There is nothing as wonderful as the gift of experience. Honestly, Christmas Day for me is never the best part. It's the weeks leading up to Christmas that I dwell on. It's the parties, the decorating, the good deeds, the planning, the celebrating. Presents are nice to open, but they are never as memorable as actual experiences.

Now for a random list of things we either have already done or plan on doing before the start of the new year:

• Go to a Christmas performance of some kind (we went to The Nutcracker)

• Make and decorate sugar cookies (check) 

• Build a snowman

• Decorate our Christmas tree while listening to Christmas tunes (been there, done that)

• Watch our favorite Christmas movies while wrapping gifts (did this but I'm sure there is more to come)

• Create a gingerbread house (we did this with a couple extra creative friends and it was a blast) 

• Clean out our closets and donate old clothes to those in need

• Make a treat and deliver it to neighbors (we did this on National Cookie Day) 

• Go caroling 

• Wear ugly Christmas sweaters (we got to do this for my work Christmas party)

• Create a funny Christmas card together (I'll share the card soon. It's fantastic and involves miniature donkeys) 

• Go to Temple Square and see the lights

• Go sledding

• Drink hot cocoa and drive around town to look at lights (we accomplished this last night with my mom and sisters)

• Pay for someone behind us at a drive-through

• Go on a snowshoeing expedition 

I sure do love this time of year. While I love parties, wrapping paper and Santa, it's refreshing to center my thoughts on what really matters: God and people. Merry Christmas! I hope you fill yours with experiences spent with the people you love.

Sunday Best: Getting Down to Business

dress: Rue 21, blazer: Maurices, tights: TJ Maxx, heels: Old Navy, necklace: Forever 21

Let's talk about colds for a minute and how dumb they are. If you are sick with the stomach flu and you're throwing up, you obviously stay home from work. But where do you draw the line for the cold? Every time you get a runny nose do you call in sick? 

This week, I developed a cold. My throat is on fire and when I speak, I sound like a teenage boy going through puberty. This is definitely a problem since I am a radio deejay for a living. However, I had so much to do at work this week that I didn't want to take time off. I felt like I couldn't. So I trucked along all week with cough drops and water bottle in tow. Yep, I'm that girl. The girl that goes places sick and spreads my germs to everyone.

Then today, we spoke in church. I put on my tribal print dress with blazer and told myself I'd get down to business, just like I had all week long. I spoke over the pulpit with my raspy voice and said a prayer to God the entire time that I wouldn't burst into a coughing attack. No coughing attacks occurred but I did decide to draw the line. After speaking, I came home, changed into sweats, buried myself beneath blankets, and zonked out for several hours. Sometimes it's more important to get some rest rather than get down to business. If it counts for anything, I really liked my outfit today. Even if I only wore it for an hour.   

Sunday Best: Go with the Flow

shirt: Smith's, skirt: Ross, flats: Old Navy, necklace: Rue 21, leather cuff bracelet: Millie Made

It's Monday, almost the end of Monday, in fact. Sunday just weaseled on past me so here I am, posting this Sunday Best on a late Monday afternoon. No problem. I can go with the flow. 

Also, I wore this flowing blue skirt to go grocery shopping last week. Because sometimes, you just need to wear what you feel like wearing in order to conquer the grocery store. 

Except I highly suggest you do not wear whatever you feel like wearing when visiting your dad's tire shop. Because then you will end up with a dirty scuff on your bright orange shoe. Oh wait, that's just me? Well, aren't I just a hot mess. 

I hope you have a happy week. Which you probably will since Monday is almost over and I am guessing you hate Mondays. Too bad for me because I like Mondays and actually dislike Tuesdays, but we are getting onto a whole different subject now.  

Truth Tuesday

• The truth is, I don't have time to blog today. Sorry. Maybe I'll have more time after finals. Thanks for being so understanding.

• Also, it drives me nuts that there are no apostrophes on the "its" in this quote, because there should be. But it describes how I feel perfectly. Total brain sneeze. So I am letting the bad grammar slide just this once.

Sunday Best: What's Black and White and Red All Over?

The answer would be an embarrassed girl wearing leopard flats, taking pictures near a busy street. BWell always mocks me during these little photo shoots because I get so fussy if people are around. He just doesn't get it. He has to remind me, "Babe, you are going to put these pictures on your blog for anyone to see." This is true. He's got me on that one. But the thing is, I'm no model. I choose five of the best out of about twenty photos. And you never get to see the fifteen others that usually get deleted. Boy, would you guffaw if you saw those. 

headband: rue 21, top: H&M, skirt: thrifted, flats: PacSun

I sported this splendid ensemble on Wednesday for our student news show. I wasn't anchoring, but I did have on camera time with a live shot. So I needed to look good from at least the waist up. I decided to go with black and white. Black and white is always classy and I don't wear it enough. 

Looking back on it now, the leopard flats weren't my best choice. They kinda throw off the whole outfit. But it was either that or heels. Remember, I said I only had to look good from the waist up? And flats are the logical choice over heels when you are running about campus like a wild beast. . .which I basically am every Wednesday.

Speaking of our student news show. . .check us out AggieTVNews on our Youtube channel. We have 8 subscribers. We're kind of a big deal. 

Patio Paradise

Brian and I (and Luna too) spent all morning of Memorial Day out on our back patio. We put forth our best efforts to transform the boring slab of cement into a little garden getaway.

Here is what it looked like before we shoveled, and planted, and painted. . . .

The little flower bed was just full of bark. . .and plenty of weeds too. So we purchased some flowers, tomato plants, soil, and wood and we went to work.

We also purchased some patio furniture. Nothing fancy. Just those plastic white chairs. Except we spray painted the chairs fun colors. You know us Wellers, we are all about our bright colors over here!

And by lunch time, this is what we created. . .

We are pretty thrilled with the results. I'm so happy that I married someone who likes to take on odd little projects just as much as me. Here is to many summer evenings spent on our colorful, little patio!

Life Ain't Easy. But Easy Ain't Fun.

"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."


-Conan O'Brien 

Well, I officially have my third year of college under my belt. Time sure goes by fast. It seems like it wasn't long ago that I was hauling boxes out of my parents' house at the ripe age of 18, anxious and excited to start my college career as an Aggie.

Yesterday I trudged up to campus before the sun was even up to take my media law final at 7:30 in the morning. That class was probably the hardest of any class I'll take for my degree. The final was a beast, but I think I did alright. We'll wait and see. I am not a very good test taker. It's something I don't like to admit, so it's kind of a miracle I'm admitting it on my blog. I actually get test anxiety pretty bad. All week before my media law final, I actually had nightmares about it. Usually when I sit down and take tests too, my mind just starts spinning and I can't even read the questions on the test. My freshman year of college I almost got help with it. I called the test anxiety experts and even set up an appointment. But because I'm so vain, I called the day of and cancelled.

I think I ought to give a little disclaimer for this post. This is not a "woe is me" post and I apologize if it also sounds like I'm bragging later on. I don't mean for this to turn into either of those things. It's just that I have learned so much in this past year of school; about myself, about people around me, about my degree and potential career, and just about life. And now that I have approached the end of this year, I have some thoughts on my mind and some feelings in my heart that I want to get out. . .before I forget just how I feel.

This is the year I really delved into all the classes specifically for my major. This spring semester I actually had all journalism classes. It was nice, and a part of me figured it would be easy. I was so wrong. The journalism department gets some crap from people sometimes because apparently we're the "easy major". From experience I will tell you that it's as easy as you want to make it. But if you take it easy, I guarantee you won't get a job. Broadcast journalism jobs are some of the most competitive to get. At a starting job, most of us who want to be field reporters (like me) will probably make about what we would flipping burgers. Not joking. And then it's all about working your way up the food chain. But I still absolutely love what I am studying. We are the watchdogs over the government, the tellers of truth. Movies like "All The President's Men" and "Good Night and Good Luck" make me excited about journalism and the potential impact we can make on history.

 I feel like I have an interesting experience being a married student. Lots of girls that "just want to be moms" so they are hurrying to get a degree will do journalism. I think this is what one of my teachers assumed about me. So he was hard on me and made me prove myself last fall. It was discouraging for a while. Then on the last day of the semester he pulled me aside and asked me if I was serious about my degree. I told him I wouldn't be here wasting time and money if I wasn't. So he told me congratulations and that he would keep being hard on me during spring semester and expect even more from me.

He started encouraging me to do spot news throughout spring semester, which I did. So this last semester, I stopped going to student events on the weekend with my camera (so easy to do stories on, but they are never interesting) and I started listening to police scanners, hoping someone would get in an accident so I could race to the scene with camera in hand. I know that sounds so awful, my major is turning me into a gruesome person. Doing this has been stressful and some weekends I was nervous I wouldn't end up with a story so I would really have to dig, which sometimes I did. But sometimes I came up with real gems for stories. Like the time I covered the Idaho lottery (almost all the people in line were from Utah), or the story on the news that the Logan zoo might close down, or the time a car in the canyon crashed into the river and I skipped class to go get footage and interviews, or the time I sat down and talked with an avalanche survivor,  or the time I got way closer than anyone else to the baby bears at Baby Animal Days. I get to do cool things and talk to so many cool people. I even sold a few of those stories to news stations in Salt Lake. And let me tell you, it's pretty exciting when you watch the 6 o'clock news and just wait for your footage to appear on screen. And then when it does, you dance around and call your mom (because she's watching too) and you celebrate your success. And even though no one else watching the news knows that some amateur girl from Utah State shot that all, you know and that's all that matters.

It's sweet moments like that which make all the hard moments worth it I suppose. This semester was tiring. I decided it would be a good idea to take a documentary class and newscast at the same time. So when I wasn't out shooting something with a camera, I was living inside a dark edit bay editing my heart out. Then add media law to that and it caused for many sleepless nights and more tears shed than I'd like to count. This semester was at times a mess. I felt like I was living in some sort of prison I couldn't escape. Many weeks one thing after another would go wrong. So many times equipment failed me. Once I lost my sd card the day before my story was due. . .all the footage for that story was on the lost sd card. It was awful. I cried for several hours straight (I'm usually not emotional) and thought the universe must hate me. I had to quit my job because I didn't have time for it. That sure made me feel like a failure and a half. I started going to the chiropractor once a week because I was having migraines every day and we discovered by back was jacked up (partly from hauling  heavy camera equipment around). There were times that one thing piled onto the other and I really just wanted to scream. And there were constant moments of me not thinking I was even good at the major I was studying. So many times of cursing my advisor for talking me out of switching my major to English so I could just be a high school English teacher, rather than have so many unanswered questions about my future.

I've heard it said that your first year of marriage is hard. I was sure this would be false for me and Brian. We know each other so well, I thought. Living together won't be hard to get used to. Honestly, none of that has been hard to get used to. We're naturals at being married to each other. But I'll tell you what, my school schedule has been hard on both me and Brian, and I have felt so guilty for that. There were so many nights I didn't get home from editing until after midnight, so many times I was an emotional and psycho mess, so many times I ripped myself apart thinking I was an awful wife. It's been a challenge for both of us. I know it's been a real challenge on my own confidence. But challenges are what make us better people. A girl in my class recently asked me, "How do you do all this and be married. I can't even imagine being married right now." I answered and said, "I just suck at being a wife right now to be honest." She laughed, but it was true. Things in my life have not been balanced, for the last few months I've been torn in all directions, feeling incompetent in both school and at being a wife.

A short while ago, that same teacher I talked about earlier was asking me if I would give a few little lines worth of speech at some banquet type thing about the broadcast major. He asked me what I would say. This was just days after I'd quit my job and my energy was shot. I started trying to say something and then my throat got all choked up. "I don't think I'm the right person to do this."
"Why?"
I tried answering back. I felt so beyond embarrassed because I was on the verge of tears.
"I don't know if I can do this anymore. I never make my husband dinner. And I don't even feel good at this?"
He looked nervous and confused, "You mean journalism?"
"Yes. I'm just so stressed all the time. I don't know if I can do this every day for the rest of my life. Maybe I should have just been an English teacher!"
Oh my poor teacher. He was concerned though. He kept me in his office for almost an hour, trying to convince me I was good enough.

Well, long story short, this semester has really tried my confidence and my patience.

But from all of these hard times, many rewards have been reaped. I have made so many close friends with the people in my major. There is only a handful of us, so I feel like we became a little family after being together all the time with newscast. The last day of our class it felt like the day in high school when you had everyone sign your yearbook. Totally cheesy but it's true. I'll miss them. The pictures above are from our last day of newscast. And look closely, you'll probably see a few of those faces on tv one day. They have some real talent. On our last day of class, we also did class awards. I didn't think I would get voted for anything. So I'd already come to terms with the fact that I wouldn't get an award. But I did! I got four of them, including best anchor (which I was totally shocked and confused about).

I also discovered a short time ago that I got a scholarship. I'm still wondering if maybe it's a sick joke someone is playing on me, so I've kept it on the down low. It's the Josey Barnes Wayman Scholarship. It's actually a scholarship especially for women in broadcasting. She was one of the first women in Utah to have a successful career in the broadcast world. I feel so blessed from receiving this great award. It really is such an inspiring scholarship and pushes me to want to do great things and prove myself. Plus, Brian and I weren't going to get much financial aid for this next year. It's nice to know that someone is watching out for us ;).

The last few weeks of school have been rejuvenating and comforting. Things have happened that assure me maybe (just maybe) I am good at what I'm doing. I have potential. And I have the greatest of people around me to push me to that potential. So thanks to you if you are one of those many people.

I apologize for the long, boring, mostly rambling blog post. I kind of want to erase it all now.But I won't and I'll instead leave you with a picture of me and my scholarship certificate. . .