Bittersweet

Here I sit in a basically empty room, staring at a closet with a few bare hangers swaying slowly back at me. This is the same room that has served as refuge and sanctuary to me for the past two years. And that is the same blasted small closet that I cussed at daily for not allowing sufficient floor space for all my shoes. It is strange to think I will be leaving this humble bedroom and never come back again. Last year, I knew I would be gone with a few passing months of summer, only to move back in with the start of a new school year. Not now. Nothing will be the same. In a few days, everything I have grown familiar with since I graduated high school will be gone. Maybe not exactly gone, but different.

Yesterday at work, we watched Fox and the Hound (yes, I sometimes watch Disney movies at work; be jealous). Fox and the Hound is probably the saddest Disney movie known to mankind. All day yesterday was spent moving things from my apartment. And all day I had felt empty; emotionless. Until I watched that movie. As I sat watching the story about the fox and the hound that couldn't be friends, a wave of sadness hit me. That is when I realized I felt like Todd the Fox. No, my best friend is not a hound dog who is trained to kill me. That would be ridiculous. And no, I don't live with an old lady and she is not setting me free into the woods. However, I am entering a new transition of life. I will soon be going into the woods to start again.

Summers are usually carefree and lazy. This summer will not be so. I know I will still find time for fun. There will still be beautiful moments of carefree laziness. However, I am going to openly admit that this summer might be really hard on me.

I am moving home. I am excited to spend time with my family. However, I am nervous that many of my friends won't be around, and I'll need them.

  My mornings will be spent with my friend, Goldie the van, traveling to Logan every day to work two jobs. So I can pay rent for the summer while Brian is gone.

The majority of my dates with Brian this summer will not be like last summer. We will not have time to hike, feed ducks, go on runs, eat food, swim, and watch movies up the canyon. We will mostly have Skype dates. I know I am being a baby about Brian being gone, but I don't like it. I know I am selfish, but I still don't think it's fair he is leaving so much. I am excited he is studying abroad and I know it is a blessing that this job opportunity came up. All the same, I am still afraid.

After all, I am human and all humans fear the unknown at least a little bit.

It is strange to think I will never live with Shayla again. It is finally just sinking in. For the past two years, she has just been in the room next to me. We have a spare bedroom, but Shayla thinks 'it would be weird' to live with me and Brian. Whatever. Just kidding, Shay. I love you. Thanks for putting up with me.

Then our friend, Dallin, is leaving for the summer. He is leaving in two days. Driving all the way to Tennessee to do summer sales. The other day, he was packing some things up and it made me feel sick. I want him to be here in the summer. I want it to be like last summer when Dallin, Brian, and I went to the local pool in the evenings. Now I might have to go by myself. I want Dallin to be here for our wedding in August. But I know this is for the best and I hope he makes bank over in Tennessee. Dallin. . .I will miss you. And I owe you big for helping me pass stats this semester.

I am a person who likes change. All the same, death is also one of life's many changes, and we all take time to mourn death. So with this change in my life coming, today I am mourning for a moment. I know beautiful things are coming my way. Beautiful things take work though.

Tomorrow morning I have my last final. Then summer will be upon me. Next time I come back to school, my world will be different. I will be married. How absolutely enthralling!

This summer will bring many changes. Changes are becoming a daily routine nowadays. That is fine, but I will still always think back on days when the fox and the hound were friends, before they grew apart. Growing up is grand. But it's still just a little bittersweet.    

That Sweet 17

Today was my little brother's 17th birthday.

In order to make him feel loved, I will give him the same special treatment I gave Bri Guy.

So here are 17 random facts off the top of my head about Ronnie Jace Keller.

Drum roll please.

1. Jace was the most adorable little blonde haired child. He was a momma's boy and he couldn't pronounce his r's. His speech impediment was even more of a joy since his favorite animal was a 'hewmit cwab'. 

2. Jace finds happiness in arguing with people. He will sometimes argue just to argue. It makes sense that he wants to be a lawyer someday. 

3. Adults totally admire Jace. I have heard several moms go on about how they want their daughters to marry/date the boy. 

4. Jace has missed me a lot since I moved out. He never comes straight out and says it, but he implies it plenty. 

5. Jace and I spent many summers side by side, acting as slaves for our father. He put us to work doing the most ridiculous chores. Although I hated it at the time, I look back and am grateful now. During those long, hot hours in the sun is when my relationship with Jace really blossomed. We had many a deep talk or sometimes just venting sessions about how ridiculous the chore at hand was. 

6. Jace usually has an eye for style. He is a bit of an American Eagle addict though. He might as well just model for them. He owns their whole men's collection. 

7. Jace is a hoarder. He collects weird junk. Once it was Jones soda bottles, another time it was water bottles. When he was younger, my mom discovered a drawer full of old crab leg shells. Gross. Oober gross. He apparently snuck them home after every outing to Red Lobster. 

8. Jace has a bad habit of mumbling or not wanting to talk sometimes. 

9. Jace plays Guitar Hero on expert. 

10. Jace is one of the strongest and most determined people I know. He had a pretty nasty injury about a year ago and he's just coming back from it. Just in time for track season. I know his ankle sometimes still hurts, but he never complains. I never heard him complain during the course of his injury either. I would not have been able to maintain the attitude he has if put in his shoes. 

11. To add to the previous point, Jace broke over 8 bones throughout his foot, ankle, and leg while pole vaulting at track districts last year. He is back at it this year, working on qualifying for state in pole vault. Can you believe he is not even afraid to compete again? I would be. 

12. Jace is the genius of the family. He got a 30 on his ACT and wasn't even excited. We're talkin' he glanced at the score, threw it to the side, and was irritated about it the rest of the day. You can bet I would have been jumping up and down with glee if I 'd have gotten a 30 on the ACT. 

13. Jace has the worst taste in movies. No offense, Jace. His favorites are the really dumb ones that are supposed to be funny. Jace laughs at them in all their stupidity. 

14. Jace was always a little guy for his age. He was always smaller and weaker than me, and I always beat him up in every fight we ever had. Ha suddenly hit a growing spurt and is now quite tall. Much taller than me. Yet still weaker and I can still beat him up. 

15. Jace has a huge heart. It is one of my favorite things about him. 

16. When Jace was small, we teased him and said, "Ronnie Jace has a funny face." 

17. Jace is the biggest Beatles fan I have ever had the privilege of knowing. 

So, there you have it. Happy Birthday, Jace. I hope it was great! You better wear the nice looking button-up I purchased for you. You'll make it look good. 17 is a great year. One of my favorites out of the 20 years I have now been alive. Good luck on elections this week, my dear boy.    

Thrifting Machine

One man's junk is another man's treasure.

I found this to be extremely true, especially while thrift shopping for clothes.

I recently started reading a book called Green is the New Black. Some of it was slightly irritating (because I find the whole 'being green is in style so I am suddenly going to turn into an environment conscious person cuz it's cool' thing slightly irritating). However, there are many helpful tips in the book for using sustainability in your dress, which I am a fan of. I love getting clothes for cheap and I also love keeping certain articles of clothes long enough that they are back in style after the passing of a few years.

So in all my thriftiness, I decided to take a day and go shopping at good ol' Deseret Industries with some of my gal friends. We had an awesome time! Happy to say, we all made some great purchases. I made way too many purchases however. We are talking I carried a mountain of clothes out of the place.

However, the whole mountain only cost me $30. At other stores, you can't even get a whole outfit for $30.

Check out my new treasures:

Treasure #1: Hippie Dress

 My lovely cousin, Megan, pulled this dress off a hanger and begged me to try it on. She shoved it into my arms exclaiming that it reminded her of my style. I looked at the long, ugly green thing and thought to myself, "So you're telling me you think my style sucks. ." However, I told her I would try it on and maybe get a laugh out of it.

Don't ever judge something before you try it on, because it can look completely different when on the body. This was the case with the hippie dress. I put it on and fell in love. I am crazy about the bead work and it fits me nicely too.

Treasure #2: My MoTab Dress 

 Don't pay attention to the fact that you can completely see through this dress. I'll fix that for when I go out in public. Brian despises this dress, which only makes me want to wear it more. He says it looks like I am in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Who knows, maybe it once was a part of the choir. That is the wonderful part about thrift shopping. Each article of clothing already had a past owner, which leaves a story attached to the clothing. It is glorious, really. I was excited about the color of this dress, the vintage buttons in the front, and the belt. I'm gonna make it cute. Just wait, it'll grow on BWell.

#3: Sweet Girly Dress

 This dress is absolutely adorable when paired with leggings, a cardigan, and boots. Shay Baybay found this dress and thought I might like it. She was quite right. Quite right indeed. It makes me feel young and vibrant. Like a little school girl. Yeah for jump roping and playing four square!

#4: Grandpa Shorts

 I am a fan of the grandpa shorts. They have a high waist plus they are bright blue. Where does a girl go wrong, really? I will confess, I will have to get used to the way this gem fits. But the grandpa shorts shall make a fun summer staple. After all, who doesn't want to look like an old person?  

I went ahead and combined #5 and #6 for your pleasure.

#5: I Ride Wild Mustangs Blouse

 I almost didn't buy this blouse, which would have been a great shame. After all, it was only $3.00. This shirt makes me feel like a hardcore cowgirl. It even has shoulder pads. [No, I'm not kidding]. You can bet you will see me sporting this at all the summertime rodeos.

#6: Aztec Zigzag Skirt

This skirt is sa-weet! I like the way it fits, the colors, the fun shapes. Boy, I am excited to wear this out. I just can't resist a fun and comfortable skirt.

So as you can see, I went a little thrift shopping crazy. At least I went thrift shopping crazy and not Urban Outfitters shopping crazy. Much more kind to the wallet.

Randee, Megan, and Shayla: We must have another DI shopping date again soon. Pretty, pretty please.

So readers, do not fear thrift shopping. You really can find some treasures. Just make sure to run them through the washer and all will be very well.