Sunday Best: Practicing Self-love

cardigan: Target, dress: Kohl's, tights: Old Navy, heels: Payless 

Sometimes I wonder why I have a blog. Why do I feel the need to put pieces of my life out there for the world to see? Plus, I'm going to be honest for a second, a large majority of bloggers bug to shit out of me. Excuse my french, but it's the ugly truth. I don't want people to look at this blog and think I'm conceited, throwing my life around on the internet. 

But when I take a step back, I realize I'm not really keeping this online record for anyone but myself. I love reading back through my archives and remembering what I was going through at certain times in life. I love seeing the old photos and how I've changed. It's theraputic for me. And while I write in a private journal as well, keeping a blog results in a lot less hand cramps and ink smears. 

Sometimes I feel really silly about these Sunday Best posts, too. I'm no fashion icon or model. I mean, look at these above photos . . . I'm a total dork. But I like that about myself. I don't shop at high-end stores. I like that about myself too. And I'm sure that there are plenty of times I'm out and about and people think I look like a total train wreck. I like that as well. The truth is, I wear what I want. I don't dress to impress. I don't put something on and ask myself if I can "pull it off". I dress to make myself happy. So while no one is looking at my Sunday Best posts for outfit inspiration, I love looking back at them for myself. It's fun to see what clothes I wore a year or two years ago. It's a style journal. I enjoy that. 

And that's why I sheepishly asked BWell if he'd take my photo today, because I really liked the outfit I had on. It made me feel confident and spunky. I wanted to capture that feeling for longer than just today. 

Over the past year, I learned to care a lot less about what other people think of me. However, I'm still working on mastering what I think of myself. I, like everyone else, beat myself up, feel guilt for no reason and think negative thoughts. I want to get rid of those burdens this year. So since Valentine's Day is about a month away, I want to practice self-love. Really, I want to make it a habit of practicing through the entire year of 2015. I found this gem of an article that I really enjoyed. I'm determined to practice all of the things on that list. In fact, I'm making it a priority this week to clean out my closet. Out with the old and in with the new. I also have interviews, lunch dates, and appointments lined up this coming week with people who inspire me. I'm looking forward to spending time with these people and feeding off their energy . . . absorbing their light. I'm finding that I absorb people's energy very easily, so it's vital that I surround myself with positive and self-loving people. 

How do you practice self-love? 

On the topic of self-love, my new heart tights are my favorite. I might be wearing them a lot in the near future to remind myself to love, love, and love some more! 

Gratitude Journal: Freedom

Today, I am grateful to live on free soil. Though I'm one small person, I still have the rights and freedoms to let my small voice be heard. I voted for the first time last week. I hit up the early voting, thought I'd avoid long lines. I left my "I VOTED" sticker on all day, and then I put it in my journal. It was an exciting experience. Last election, my eighteenth birthday was just a month shy of voting day. I remember feeling pretty bummed as all my friends voted but I couldn't. So it feels good to know I exercised my freedom. Regardless of who you vote for, I hope you marched proudly to the polls today (or earlier like I did).

I am so thankful to be an American citizen. I'm thankful for the brave men and women who keep this country home of the free and land of the brave. And I'm so thankful for the amazing men that we call our "Founding Fathers". Wouldn't it be cool to have been in their presence?

I am also extra thankful for the women who were involved in the fight for women's suffrage in our country. Many of those ladies were heavily persecuted, mocked, arrested, and assaulted for speaking out and fighting for female rights. Thanks to their determination, I can speak my mind and do something as simple as vote and not be arrested because of it. Ladies, we didn't have the right to vote until the 1920s. Isn't that crazy?

 "On Election Day in 1920, millions of American women exercised their right to vote for the first time. It took activists and reformers nearly 100 years to win that right, and the campaign was not easy: Disagreements over strategy threatened to cripple the movement more than once. But on August 26, 1920, the 19th Amendment to the Constitution was finally ratified, enfranchising all American women and declaring for the first time that they, like men, deserve all the rights and responsibilities of citizenship."

source

Remembering

I am sitting in my bed, wearing my favorite dog socks to keep  my toes warm. It's been a busy week. We successfully pulled off our first Aggie TV (A-TV) news show on Wednesday. I had two papers due this week too. And a quiz. And a test. And I've also been making actual meals for dinner still. Tonight we had enchiladas. Next on the menu, I'm going to try sweet and sour chicken. I have discovered that cooking is a lot easier when you actually try it. I played volleyball tonight too with some of my favorite gal pals. And I realized something funny. . .half of us are married. Where does the time go?

I'm in this class called Child Guidance. Which is really just a parenting, class but I think they call it Child Guidance in hopes that more students will take it. No, I'm not planning on parenting a child anytime soon. But I needed more electives, and this one sounded somewhat easy. Plus, it's somewhat relative since I will one day be a parent. Anyhow, on Tuesday we learned about the chronosystem. The chronosystem is one of the five systems of Bronfenbrenner's ecological systems theory. Google it. Basically, the chronosystem takes in all the historical moments of importance inside an individual's life. I found it quite ironic that we learned about the chronosystem on what was the 11th anniversary of September 11th. As young as I was and as confusing as the whole day seemed to me, September 11th will forever be a part of my own chronosystem. One day, perhaps my grandchildren will say, "Grandma, weren't you alive when the airplanes hit the twin towers? What was that like?"

I was on the school bus when it happened, when the first tower went down. As I sat on that big brown seat, staring out the smudged window, I figured it was just another regular day in my ten year old life. I was oblivious as to what was happening in the big city of New York. Honestly, the city of New York seemed more like a dream to me anyways, a place I often heard about but it wasn't actually real. I was the very first kid on the bus. We were finally nearing the end of our long route. We picked up a boy who was one of my fellow peers. He often made up outrageous stories. Lots of kids wouldn't listen to his stories and told him he was a liar. I usually listened. I just knew better than to believe him. I figured he just had a crazy imagination. This boy came bounding to the back of the bus and sat down by me.

"Kelsey Keller, did you hear about the airplane that crashed into the building?"
"What building?"
"One of the twin towers in New York City! Some bad guys took over this plane and then they crashed it into the building so they could kill lots of people."
I remember thinking that was the silliest story he had ever told (well, besides the story about the gorilla breaking out of the zoo and eating some men) but it still made me feel a little bit afraid. Would bad men really do that? Take over an airplane and crash it into a building?
"That's not true," I whispered.
"Yes it is, I was just watching it on tv before the bus came."
I shook my head and turned to continue staring out the window.

When we arrived at school, I learned that the boy's story was very true. All the televisions in every classroom were turned on, the teachers glued to them. After hanging up my backpack, I gathered around the television by the rest of my friends. Minutes later, I watched as another airplane struck the second building. I watched as the immaculate building slowly began to crumble, smoke rising, tiny specks which were actually bodies falling from the building to their death.

I felt panic and confusion. The other 5th grade teacher came into our classroom to speak with my teacher. They were both crying. I felt like crying too. I didn't know anyone in New York and I honestly didn't even know the twin towers existed until that day they were destroyed, but I felt an overwhelming wave of sadness and fear that I didn't quite understand. Our great country had been attacked. Lots of people were dead. And I didn't understand why.

My senior year of high school, I went to Ground Zero where they were still cleaning up the rubble from that horrific day. There was a great solitude there. I understood more then. I thought back to that naive ten year old with the wavy brown hair, wearing her levi jacket, trying to make sense of the world on that day. She couldn't figure out how someone could do something so evil. But eighteen year old Kelsey understood. I really comprehended for the first time that we are the greatest country in the world, and something great will always be threatened. But I think more than ever on that day, we proved we were a great country as we came together and helped one another through the heartache.

I will never ever forget that day. It is a part of me. It is a part of how I view my country and how I respect and love it. On this day and every day, I am so thankful for the sacrifices made by those who keep this country great.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you. 
 

All-American Girl

Our first 4th of July as a married couple was a busy one. I guess you could say twice the family means twice the fun. We started the morning bright and early with the Weller family at their community breakfast. After stuffing ourselves with waffles, bacon, and scrambled eggs, we went over to the community celebration. While there, Brian and I raced each other through a blowup obstacle course. We were the only adults in line, but we couldn't resist some friendly competition. I totally won. Brian put up a good fight though. And in the process of winning, I burnt up both of my knees from diving and sliding around. Worth it.

After spending some time at the celebration, we went back to my in-laws house and changed into our swimsuits. Then in the heat of the day, we hit up the lake and took the tube out behind the boat. I would have enjoyed riding around on that tube for the remainder of the day, but all good things must come to an end. Especially since we had to get cleaned up and drive up to Idaho to be with my family for the evening.

That night we had a barbecue at my grandparents' house (Mom's side). We ate ribs and chicken which was cooked to perfection on the grill. We also feasted on fruit, cornbread, homemade mac&cheese, salads galore, and yummy desserts. We played frisbee and watched the sun set. When it finally got dark enough, we did some ground fireworks and goofed around with sparklers. And to wrap up the night, we watched Back to the Future outside with the help of a projector and screen. It was set up surrounded by pine trees and a bright moon shone overhead.

We ended up getting home at around two in the morning. That's a little late for us married fogies, but it was a wonderful and perfect day. I feel so blessed to be close to all kinds of wonderful family members who we love so much. I'm sad to see one of my favorite holidays come and go, but there will always be next year. Boy, I love July!

Freedom

I'm one of those obnoxious people who plans my life out according to holidays. The 4th of July is no different, especially since it's one of my favorites, right up there with Christmas.

I just love the feel of it. I love how much we reflect on this great country and the people who made it great and still make it great today.

All the Independence Days of my life are filled with memories of 5k runs, parades, face painting, swimming, barbecues, greased pig chasing, dunking machines, and firework shows (and of course my firework squeals which come squeaking out of my mouth during the entire span of the firework show). I love everything Americana with a touch of small town feel. And that's exactly what my July 4ths always are. Yesterday was no different. Driving down the street of our town and seeing the streets lined with American flags made my heart swell a little and I felt especially proud to be an American. The day was filled with fun, family, and zero worries as I enjoyed the various freedoms I'm blessed with.

But then, last night, I had a reminder of why I have it so easy. While at our family barbecue my mom told me the news about a soldier from my hometown who was killed in Afghanistan on Tuesday. While in a watchtower, he and others were suddenly attacked and he was shot down. There I was, eating ribs smothered in barbecue sauce and stuffing my face with homemade rolls and mac & cheese, enjoying the company of my family. . .all because of other people like that soldier who leave the comfort of their own homes to defend our freedoms. My heart goes out this soldier's family, and all other families who have lost loved ones to war.

God bless America. I'll leave you with a music video which I like and find pretty appropriate. Because, really, look how far we've come.