Vacation Mode

Why is it that we worry so much about what others think of us? We so often let other's thoughts of us undermine our happiness. I mean, recently Brian and I caught this guy sitting in his car in the parking lot having a dance party by himself. He looked like he was having an awesome time. But he immediately stopped dancing when he noticed us. We were complete strangers who he'd probably never see again yet he let our opinions of him stop him from being authentic (we were total fans of his dancing, btw). 

A few months ago, Brian had a week-long business conference in Georgia. It just so happened to land on the same week that my sisters were out of school for spring break. They had plans to chill in California for the week with my mama. My mom invited me to tag along and Brian really encouraged me to go. You see, I get a little crazy and restless when I go long periods of time by myself. I think Brian was concerned about leaving me home alone for a whole week, ha ha. But I was being stubborn and saying I couldn't go. I had to stay home and work, be responsible and stuff. 

Well, I went back and forth between deciding if I should go to California or stay in Utah. I got to the point that I even made a list of pros and cons. Honestly, one of the biggest cons of going to California came down to what others would think of me. You see, Brian and I had a trip to Thailand planned and it would be not even a month after this California trip. My concerns were all things like, "What will my boss think if I ask for more work off? What will people at church think if I miss more meetings? People on social media will think I'm spoiled/irresponsible/lazy." 

It's really sad that I almost let other people's opinions of me make me miss out on a getaway with my mom and sisters. Yes, in the end I decided to pack up my suitcase and hit the road with my family. It was such a wonderful week away spending quality time with my favorite ladies (I think we need to have an annual girls' trip). It also made missing Brian a little more bearable ;). 

   

I'm happy my sisters let me crash their spring break. Hopefully soon I'll get my grand Thailand adventure documented. And as for worrying about what others think of me . . . I'm trying to take a permanent vacation from that.

Elder Keller

My brother moves to California tomorrow and will live there for the next two years. He will dedicate his time to serving others and spreading this message.

I never thought it would be so hard for me to watch my brother go on a mission. I'm actually a bit embarrassed because, I mean, people go on missions everyday. It shouldn't be this big of a struggle for me. Plus, it's just two years. I can write him letters and send emails. I can even skype with him on Christmas day. All the same, I'm really going to miss Ronnie Jace, my one and only brother.

I loved Jace from the day he was born. Not only is he my little brother and one of my longest-kept friends, but he gave me an important title. He gave me the title of big sister.

I was so excited when my mom was pregnant with Jace. I waltzed around declaring myself the big sister. My parents didn't find out the sex for any of us kids so it was always a constant guessing game on whether my mom would have a boy or a girl. But I knew from the beginning that I was going to have a little brother. Anytime someone would say to me, "Are you so excited to have a little brother or sister?" I would respond by telling them I was very excited to have a little brother.

After Jace was born, I took it upon myself to protect him and keep him happy, as any good big sister would. I was convinced the only person that could bully him would be me. Which I did all growing up.

 My childhood friend Catherine and I would lock Jace out of our wooden playhouse in the garden almost daily.

"What's the password," we would ask in demanding voices. J

ace would say passwords in his gentle little voice and even when he got the password correct, he still wasn't allowed to pass.

"Sorry, we just changed the password."

He constantly wanted to play with me and my friends, but when my friends were around, I was just too cool for my little brother. One time, when Catherine and I were making our pretend radio show where we discussed different animals (this was a common occurrence), we took a break to get a snack. We left our cassette tape and recorder on the couch. Jace usually sat and listened to us record, but we never let him talk even though he begged many times. When we returned from our snack, we found Jace guiltily holding the microphone. He had recorded his own segment on hermit crabs (his favorite animal). At the time, I was angry. Now I'm so glad he did it. I'm glad we have his cute little voice recorded. He had trouble saying his "r"s as a child so he can be heard in his timid voice saying, "I weally wove hewmit cwabs. Maybe I'll buy two ow fwee." Even in my high school years, I managed to pick on Jace here and there. He was a freshman when I was senior. I don't think he realizes how much I worried about him and asked guys my own age to look out for him, but that still didn't mean I didn't tease him ruthlessly when passing him in the hallway between classes.

Along with all the mean things I did to Jace growing up, I feel like I also tried hard to be nice. Jace was very shy when he was little. I, however, was not all that shy. At times I was overconfident and bossy. So I took it upon myself to be Jace's voice when he was too afraid to speak. There were countless times I would coax him to answer an adult or just answer for him if he didn't want to.

 Since we were just little all the way up to when I got my driver's license, I sat by Jace on the school bus. I remember once when I was in middle school, I went to sit somewhere else one morning. I heard Jace's sweet voice, "Kelsey . . . please sit by me." I'm sure I rolled my eyes, the way most thirteen year olds do, but I plopped down next to him in my regular spot.

Also, when my friends weren't around, Jace was my very best friend. We had all kinds of games we played together. We were constant companions. Many of our childhood days were spent jumping on the tramp, riding bikes, climbing the crab apple trees in our pasture, and digging in our sandpit. I also easily convinced Jace that dancing in the front room with me was fun. In our dress-up clothes, we had two tutus, a pink one and blue one. Jace always wore the blue one (as I remember it). We would get dressed up and I would turn on and turn up some music in our front room. There we twirled around, the armchairs and piano were our audience. This soon became one of Jace's favorite things to do. He would go put on his tutu and ask if we could play dancers. I guess I should mention that Jace was three/four at this time. If you were imagining him being, say, 12 then this might be a little weird.

Once I graduated from high school, I distanced myself from Jace a bit. We were living in different selfish worlds; high school and college. However, once Jace reached the end of his senior year and decided he would go to a year at USU and then serve a mission, I became excited. I started thinking how much fun it would be to go to college with my brother. Then I realized that I was not the cool big sister but the embarrassing older sister who was married. I would probably rarely see Jace around USU. However, Jace proved me wrong. My brother instantly got very involved at school and even joined a fraternity, but that didn't mean he was too cool for me, the way I had been back when we were kids. There were many times we met up for dinner or went out to a movie. Not only that, Jace would often show up to our townhouse unannounced.

 "I just wanted to say hi," he would say as I answered the knock at the door.

Then he would sit in our living room for an hour or two and we would chat and laugh about things. One Saturday morning, he even showed up to surprise me with a Mr. Bucket he had thrifted. All the pieces were still there and it was nearly in perfect condition. My Mr. Bucket had been one of my favorite toys as a kid. I felt extremely special that day that Jace had taken the time to bring me such a special gift.

 I don't think he realizes how much I've appreciated our relationship in the last year. We have always been close, but I feel like we are now closer than ever.

So now you understand why I am having anxiety about this mission thing. I'll be the first to admit I'm a drama queen so I'm sure it won't be so bad, but I really will miss my little brother. It's crazy to think when I see him again after tomorrow, he will be almost the same age that I am right now.

Elder Keller, you will be one heck of a missionary. Every time you get out of bed, I'm sure the devil will be nervous. I guess I can give up two years of goofing off with you so that you can bring truth and happiness to other families out there who are currently searching for peace. You are one of the kindest people I've ever met with the biggest heart. How grateful I am to call you my brother. Thank you for giving me one of my favorite titles: big sister.

    

These are just some pictures I had handy on my laptop. So don't you fret, next time I visit my parents' house, you better believe I'll be digging up that photo of Jace in his tutu. At least I can share embarrassing stuff about him while he's gone and he'll never have to know, right?  

Exploring the City

Our second (and last) full day in the Bay Area, we devoted every minute to exploring what San Francisco had to offer. After waking up, getting ready, and eating a delicious breakfast made by Alexis (she's a pro cook), we hopped in the car and made our way from Santa Clara to San Fran. It was a jam-packed day, but we managed to do most everything we had on our long "to-do" list. 

So if you are ever in San Francisco for a day. . .these are my suggestions of things to hit up! 

Golden Gate Bridge 

This one is sort of a given. But seriously, you need to take in the sight of this beautiful bridge. To save time, we just made the drive across the bridge. It also would have been fun to walk, run, or bike across. . .but as I said, we had a jam-packed day. We couldn't spend too much time at one place. So we made the drive across and also took a plethora of pictures at one of the many lookouts. 

The Full House House

If you have seen every episode of Full House like I have, then you need to visit the famous house. You can sit on the grass across the street and reminisce about how cute the Olsen twins were, recall all the profound daddy-daughter moments throughout the show, and remember what a crush you had on Uncle Jesse.

Ghirardelli Square

Like, duh. It's a whole area dedicated to delicious chocolate! We hit this place up, got free samples of chocolate, and then sat down to have AMAZING chocolate ice cream dishes. 

Fisherman's Wharf 

This place just stole my little heart. I am a big lover of seafood, so obviously this place won me over. We walked around the bustling area, checked out some WWII ships, and this is also where we stopped to have lunch. It was a great lunch. Calamari and a bread bowl filled with clam chowder, how can you go wrong? Oh, not to mention there were plenty of street performers around this area. One of which was a black man with a graying beard, and a cute bowlers hat who decided he had a fancy for me. Every time we walked past he'd yell out, "Hey! My giiirl is back!" He even made up a song for me. It went like this:
"Girl, I like the way you dance in them red pants. Girl, I like the way you pack it in that leather jacket."
I couldn't resist throwing a couple bucks in his guitar case after that one. I mean, he made up a rhyme about my outfit. How clever.

We also went through Chinatown and Union Square, but I failed to take pictures. I know, I'm an awful person. Any ways, there is my very professional guide to a day in San Francisco. Perhaps one day we will return and check off the other items on our list that we ran out of time for. Thanks, San Francisco! I know our fling was short-lived, but I'll remember it always.

Alcatraz and Winchester Mystery House

Our first day in San Francisco was a good one. It's amazing how many things you can squeeze into a day when you really try. We fit a lot of fun things into our quick San Fran trip. Since we drove there and couldn't leave until Thursday afternoon, we ended up crossing the Bay Bridge at just around noon on Friday. I know that sounds like such an awful drive, but Brian really doesn't mind driving and I really don't mind riding. The ride was full of good conversations, fun music, and brainstorming about our futures. Oh, and I read a book. A fun one. Not a text book.

Anyway, we arrived at noon and found ourselves a good parking spot not far from the port where our ferry for the Alcatraz tour would be. Then we hit up a little seaside restaurant for lunch. Their food was spendy and the atmosphere was fancy, but their bathrooms were nasty. Which I don't understand. How can you have a fancy restaurant with ghetto bathrooms? That should be breaking some sort of rule. Any ways, after filling our tummies, we walked over to our line for the ferry. The air was so misty and the air smelled like fish. I didn't mind. We boarded our ferry at around two and I requested that we sit on the deck, so we did. We sat on the top of the boat and overlooked the view from the Golden Gate Bridge over to the mysterious island of Alcatraz. And all the while, my hair grew frizzy from the moist air. I was happy.

After making it to the island and getting off the ferry, we went on a tour and a lady told us about Robert Stroud aka "Birdman". He was a prisoner of Alcatraz who I don't think even finished his high school education. However, I guess you get bored when you sit in a jail cell all day, so prisoners start reading and educating themselves. Stroud educated himself while in prison and became a bird scientist. Apparently he wrote several journals that were published and a bunch of ladies read them and though Stroud was a genius. Then they found out he was in jail so they started writing letters that they should let him out. Some women.

Anyway, now that I told you about the Birdman. . .let's move on. After that tour, we went on the audio tour. I heard great things about the audio tour and I was not disappointed. It may have helped that I do a lot of audio stuff in school, but I thought it was very well done. After the audio tour, we walked around a room that was full of art created by inmates. And I started crying. Because I'm such a wimp. And I just wanted to buy some art that an inmate had created and hang it on my wall as a reminder that there can be beauty in even some of the ugliest of places.

I am in a criminology class this semester that is actually one of my favorite classes, so I found everything about Alcatraz super interesting. There was such a strange and empty feeling present on the island. Plus, Brian and I went through a phase where we were obsessed with mafia movies, so it was cool thinking we were walking around where Al Capone had also been. Basically I just really loved Alcatraz. And now I either want to give art lessons to inmates, or become an inmate myself so that I'll have time to learn another language and become a scientist. Except my mom might be mad if I go to jail. So maybe I'll just give art lessons to inmates. Except I'll have to take art lessons myself before I can teach them. It'll happen, eventually.

 Alcatraz

 One of the prisoners' cells 

 An area where prisoners could exercise and play games like baseball and horseshoes

 I forgot to take my headphones (from the audio tour) off for the picture. My bad.

 a watch tower 

 the kitchen

After spending a good three hours at Alcatraz, we drove over to Santa Clara where Brian's brother Rhett and his wife Alexis live. When we arrived, they gave us a tour of their adorable house and then we ate a delicious dinner. Then we went with them to the Winchester Mystery House. Strangest. House. Ever. First we went through a haunted alley that went around the yard of the house. It was really well done. Like well done enough that we actually fought over who had to walk first. Then we went on a flashlight night tour of the house. It's insane to think that woman spent her whole life after her husband passed just building that house. I'm really bummed that the 1906 earthquake destroyed several levels of the house. If you are wondering what in the world this house is about, watch this video.

Well, that's a quick rundown of our first day in the Bay Area. We obviously did a lot of eerie things: touring a prison where some of the most violent criminals of the past stayed, touring a "haunted" house with staircases and doors going to nowhere. . .But our second day was much more lighthearted as we spent our time exploring the city and eating tasty food. More on those adventures soon.

Instagrams & Milk: Weekend in SF

I think I already need another weekend vacation. However, that is just not possible or reasonable. So I will just squeeze every bit of life out of our road trip to San Francisco. . .starting with my Instagram pictures from our journey.

 Our first night in Reno. With the fuzzy white lamp. We named it Lamb Chops.

 Crossing Bay Bridge into the city!

 On the ferry, headed over to Alcatraz

 An exhibit of inmates' art which made me a tad bit emotional.

 "Ah ah ahhhh ah, whatever happened to predictability?"

 Golden Gate

 Ghirardelli Square AKA heaven

 This is my "tough" face that looks more like a constipated face.

 WWII ships

 Shopping at Union Square. I totally bought a Phoenix Rising bath bomb. 

 Winchester Mystery House. So very strange.

Glad for yet another adventure with my guy.

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