The last few days have been beautiful in more ways than one. In the last 24 hours I have felt both extreme happiness and also extreme hollowness. This happiness and hollowness are both direct results of this crazy thing we call marriage.
Yesterday marked year one of marriage for me and my sweet Bri Guy. Our celebration was a bit low key, but it was a good one. We had a family reunion in Wyoming over the weekend, so we went to that, and put aside a good amount of "just us" time while there. While traveling home yesterday, my grandma bought us "anniversary pie" when we stopped for lunch. Then when we got home, Brian surprised me with flowers and cheesecake. I guess you could say my calorie intake did some major celebrating. Last night, I just couldn't stop thinking about how much love I felt for my husband, and how grateful I am to call him mine. He's mine for eternity. I wouldn't say I love him more than I did one year ago when we became a Mr. and Mrs., but I do definitely love him deeper. I think there is a difference. I am excited for many years to come, and to watch that love I have for him deepen more and more.
I know the years will bring more trials as well as more happiness, and I'm ready for all of it. I went to sleep with a smile on my face.
This morning was different. While I had been celebrating one year of marriage with my husband, a friend of mine back home was saying goodbye to hers. After an amazing fight against melanoma, my friend's husband passed away. They have a beautiful little girl together. My heart is in shambles as I think about their sweet little family. I hate to think that every year during this time, I will be looking back on the wonderful day I married my husband while my friend might be looking back and remembering the day she lost hers. Life is hard sometimes and I hate that there can be so many questions with unclear answers. That's why it's so important to hang on to what you do know. I don't know why my friend's husband had to die when he was so young. But I do know that they will be reunited one day. I know that families are eternal. And I know our Heavenly Father is there to pull us into the light no matter how lost in darkness we might feel.
I just might hold onto Brian extra tight tonight and have him pray extra hard with me for all families who are losing loved ones.
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