#myhusbandisbetterthanyours

It's the hashtag that makes me cringe above all hashtags (and there are many cringe-worthy hashtags out there). I've seen it time after time and it's always bothered me, but then I just shrug it off. It's not a big deal.

Or is it a big deal?

Marriage is not a competition. It shouldn't be. But the first year of our marriage, I quickly found that for many people that is exactly what it is. I think it even became that for me. I started to feel this icky pressure to prove to the world that Brian and I had a worthy love story. I needed to show all outsiders that our life was good, our home was clean, that I was a desirable wife, and most importantly, that Brian was a flawless husband. I posted pictures to Instagram when he brought me breakfast in bed. I wrote out a mushy Facebook status when he brought flowers home from work. Looking back on that first year, I just roll my eyes at a lot of the things I did and shared, all just to prove to others that our marriage was happy and we were lovesick for one another. What a cheap act for me to pull, really. It wasn't right for me to put Brian's acts of love on display for the world to see. It was degrading, really.

Not only was it degrading to my own relationship, but I can see clearly now how it could have been degrading to other couples. Putting everything out there, perfectly rehearsed, can be hurtful to the couple who may have just had a fight, are struggling financially or are in any other kind of a rut. When you're saying your husband is the best, someone might actually believe it, and that might bruise their heart.

I hope that each woman truly believes that her husband is the best. That's how it should be. I know Brian is the best for me. However, that gives me no right to say he's better than all other husbands. That's simply not true. Every love story is special and sacred.

I've learned my lesson. Marriage isn't a competition to be the most in love. It's not something to be put up on display for others to judge and compare themselves to. Marriage is a sacred thing between you and your companion. Sure, I love seeing the occasional mushy Facebook status from other couples and it makes me happy to hear about how your husband brought you home a really great surprise. I'm not saying to never share. I am only suggesting that maybe we all need to ask ourselves every now and again, "Am I over sharing?" Also, when we share pieces of our marriage, we can do it in a manner that enlightens and lifts others up in their own marriages and relationships. We are a community of women; from here on out I want to strive to strengthen my sisters in their own relationships. I'm so over the comparison game and I want to kick the "let me paint this picture that my life is perfect" thing in the gutter.

My husband is not perfect. He does things that drive me bonkers.

And I still love him.

#ourhusbandsrock

Aint No Party Like a Halloween Party

Brian and I have put on a Halloween party for the past three years (so basically every Halloween we've ever been married). One ridiculous thing I really love about our marriage is the fact that both of us have this yearning for being party planners. We are both all about inviting people over and making sure they have a good time. We have a ways to go until we are pros at throwing parties, but I must say that this year's Halloween party was the best yet. It helps when you have great friends to make it fun. I've decided it also helps when you live in a house and not an apartment. Our bungalow has a really good setup for parties. Big open living room connected to a big open dining room. Expect plenty of parties in the future. On top of that, I read that according to a study, when a group of people were put in a yellow room together, they were more boisterous and ate more food. Yellow is the party color. Our living room ceiling . . . bright yellow. Score.

The magical part about this party, was that hardly any of the couples knew one another. They were all our friends but not friends with each another. However, by the end of the night, I think everyone knew more than they wanted to know about the other couples.

Here is a rundown of our successful party.

We invited every couple to bring a treat or drink of some kind. We made an event on Facebook so people could notify everyone what they would bring. That way we wouldn't all show up with drinks.

I made chocolate covered strawberry . . . creatures. They were originally supposed to be ghosts, but things went south.

The treats were great because as everyone started arriving, they could grab a plate of food, sit down and get to know other couples.

Once everyone got their fill of food and most of our friends had arrived, we played our first game. Truth or Dare Jenga. We took the classic game of Jenga and numbered all the blocks. Since there are about 53 blocks, we didn't actually think of truths and dares for all of them but we did for a little over half. There were things connected to the blocks such as, "tell us how you make a PB&J sandwich using a Dracula accent", "stare at the person across from you for a full minute", "eat a spoonful of mustard", "what's something disturbing about yourself that no one else knows". Just dumb stuff like that. If a person pulled a block with no truth or dare, they were off the hook. We didn't really have a punishment for what happened to the person who knocked down the blocks, so at last minute we decided that person would have to kiss Luna (our cat). It was a fun game to start on and got people laughing.

Then we played the Newlywed Game - Halloween Edition. This game was hilarious. Some of the questions were slightly off-colored which made it funnier. And hey, all the couples there but one were married. The unmarried couple were super good sports about it. This game lasted a long time since we did a round with the ladies and a round with the men, but I don't think anyone ever got bored.

I'd say the Weller Halloween Party of 2013 was a success. Come over again soon, friends. We also requested that everyone wear costumes. We should have done a costume contest because look how grand everyone looked . . .

After much debating this year, BWell and I decided on Mario and Luigi costumes. We made our hats and found shirts and suspenders for cheap. The stick-on mustaches were a fun touch, though it was hard to smile and my upper lip got sweaty. Overall, a super easy costume. To be a bit more original, we made Mario Kart cars out of cardboard. Brian got all technical and made a wooden base with handles on the inside. Since he worked so hard on them, I now feel like I need to keep them forever? 

Dear Halloween, you're almost as good as Christmas. Catch you next year. 

   

Truth Tuesday

• Brian showed me the above picture today and said, "This is totally a Kelsey joke." I laughed and felt very proud. 

• Today, I bought a cart full of white dishes from the DI. I felt bad for the poor lady who checked me out and had to wrap them all. She probably was wishing terrible things upon me and I apologized close to 30 times. I made it home without breaking any of them. Just wait until you see what I'm going to do with them next. Having a house is fun. 

• It's very bothersome when groups of people decide to stop and chat right in the doorway of stores/restaurants. Especially the grocery store. Then there is a line of carts trying to exit and everyone gets angry real fast.

• I've been obsessing over color lately. Whenever I paint a wall or piece of furniture, I have to try and determine which color is the right choice. Then I started to get all "scientific" and read about how colors impact your mood and such. This one was an interesting read. 

• I had a peanut butter Snickers for the first time this weekend. Where have I been? They are so tasty. 

• I still haven't changed my car's clock. It's kind of nice though. Maybe I'll leave it. Every time I look at it, I go into a panic but then remember it's actually an hour earlier. Then I feel like I'm really on top of things and have all this extra time on my hands. Stupid strategy but it's working for me thus far. 

• I was finding things to talk about on the radio the other day at work. I found a story about a girl who is dying of brain cancer and wanted to do a cover of Katy Perry's "Roar". A studio recorded it and the video of the song has since gone viral. I watched it and started bawling. So there I was, crouched over my computer, sobbing at work, praying that no one would come in and talk to me. Watch and prepare to cry.  

• Last week, Luna started drooling a lot. She was acting completely normal otherwise. However, since I'm the queen of worrying, I persuaded Brian to make an appointment with the vet. I left work early to be with her and was basically afraid that if I took my eyes off of her, she would fall over and die. She quit drooling as soon as we got to the vet (of course). The vet did a physical and said she is super healthy and has really nice teeth. Also, she only weighs 6.6 pounds. The conclusion of this story is, how in the WORLD am I going to have my own children one day if I go into a panic over my cat drooling?? I'm going to be one of those awful helicopter parents.