Truth Tuesday

• Sometimes I really am not a fan of technology. And yesterday, I started pondering about how I am using many forms of technology that my parents didn't even have at my age. And then my imagination got a bit carried away. Remember back in 1964? Well, I wasn't alive yet so I don't actually remember it. But in the year 1964, the Surgeon General came out and announced that smoking could be harmful. Back, then everybody smoked. Pregnant ladies probably even smoked. They probably smoked in hospitals. And then everybody got a little older and people started getting lung cancer and plopped over dead. So what my imagination got to thinking is what if the side effects of technology use somewhere down the road are negative? What if we all get eye diseases and go blind from staring at our cell phone screens so often? What if we get major arthritis from all the typing at the computer? It's a scary risk, people. 

• I am a tiny bit bitter that summer is almost to an end. Because quite frankly, I don't feel like I've really had a summer vacation. The last few months of my life have been awkward, confusing, and stressful. I have basically been living out of a suitcase and often times have felt like I don't belong anywhere. At times, I have wanted to blame this on someone and found myself angry that there is absolutely no one to blame. That's just life sometimes. I guess you have to have one crap summer at some point in your life. And I guess this was the summer. And it really hasn't been too bad. All in all. My poor brother had his leg in a cast all last summer. Now that would be the summer from hell. So I shouldn't complain. And even though this summer hasn't been as carefree as I may have hoped, it has had its moments. There have been moments of pure bliss and perfection. Moments where my heart is so content and I think to myself, "The world is a beautiful place. And my life is growing more and more beautiful by the minute." Kind of like that time in the day during the summer when the sun is just dropping behind the mountain. When it sets so it can rise again in the morning to do its job melting ice cream bars and kissing the skin of barefooted children. And as the sun reaches that certain point on the mountain, the whole world seems to catch fire. Everything has a gold tint to it for a short while, and then shadows begin to creep in. Summer dusk. I have indeed had my moments of summer dusk. 

• I already want it to be Friday so badly. Because then it will only be a week until I get to keep Brian forever. And I can handle waiting a week. 

• I am afraid of growing up at times. I hate watching everyone around me grow older and go separate ways. But I know that is how it is meant to happen. Life is about progression. However, I still daydream of the days when I lived next to my grandparents and would run through Grandpa's alfalfa fields, singing songs I made up. I had the world at my fingertips. The only thing that could ever hurt me was an occasional scrape on the knee.

• I have been thinking a lot lately about God. And my relationship with Him. Maybe it is because of the point I'm at in life. Getting married here soon and all. I know I'm not perfect and I know I can be a lazy slacker when it comes to many of the simple things I'm supposed to be doing. However, I am so grateful I have a relationship with Him. I'm so grateful I know He is there. Because quite frankly, I don't know how people get through a single day in life not relying on Him. I am so happy to wake up each day knowing I have a purpose and striving for that purpose. 

Sorry for the slightly deep mushiness of some of my truths. But I have to tell the truth. Those that know me best know I'm a terrible liar.